This is How We Feel
by TastingLatte
Summary: Sebastian has studied humans for so many lifetimes, he almost is indifferent to their emotions. Except this time, and to this one human. A butler should never feel the way he does for his maid, Mey-Rin. Sebastian x Mey-Rin. Sexual/language content.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok, so more Sebastian/Mey-Rin gooey lemon! We get conflicted!Seb, strong!Mey, and some jealous... people. Muwhaahaa!**

Sebastian sighed as he ran his gloved finger over the railing of the main stairs. He lifted it and confirmed what his sensitive touch and eyes told him - dirty. He lifted his eyes toward the figure responsible for the railings.

"Mey-Rin."

He watched her still at the sharp tone, or maybe at him saying her name. Sebastian took the stairs up toward the maid and brushed the small amounts of dirt off his gloves; her heavily tinted glasses would not be able to see the dirt unless he lifted her glasses, and for some unthinkable reason, Sebastian feared doing that.

"Y-yes Mister Sebastian?"

"You need to use the water and the cloth, not just the cloth."

"I… I did." She turned and looked down at her feet. There was a bucket, and she was holding a cloth, but Sebastian could clearly see that there was no water. She bent down and lifted her glasses a bit. Suddenly she stood up quickly. "I… oh. I'M SO SORRY!" she suddenly wailed.

The unending patience was constantly being summoned by Sebastian, head butler at the Phantomhive manor, and devoted servant to its Earl, Ciel Phantomhive. He could do all the jobs the three other servants did, and most often did. Why he and his young master tolerated the inept staff was fully realized when the manor was under attack, or the young master was in danger. Each of the servants - Mey-Rin, the maid; Finnian, the garden; Baldroy, the cook - were also weapons in their own ways. Ex-assassin and sharp shooter Mey-Rin, wore glasses to dampen her excellent sight so she would not notice the extraordinary things about the head butler, and other changes in the young master. Finnian was a teenager who loved the outdoors after being cooped up in a cell and experimented on. His super strength made him wonderful in battle, being able to throw thing far too heavy for ordinary humans, but was a disaster as a gardner. And Baldroy was an ex-millitary weapons specialist. His usual method of cooking usually involved a large amount of weapons involved.

"Please, do not raise your voice," Sebastian said. He hesitated and placed a hand on her shoulder. He felt the yelp and shutter go through her body even as it passed her lips. "It is not your fault."

He watched as the pink cheeks rose another shade as he talked. He groaned internally; how he let that particular shade of red effect him so was beyond even his knowledge. It had been a slow acceptance of the woman's imposed blindness and her growing admiration for him. Sebastian was accustom to the attention - both the physical and sexual longings toward him - but the clumsy maid had seemed to add her own twist to the attraction and had made even the young master comment from time to time about her increasing behavior.

Mey-Rin pulled him from his private thoughts as she nodded, her red hair bouncing slightly. "But it was. It was for sure my fault! I should have checked. I only grabbed this bucket after I thought Baldroy had filled it." She looked down and frowned, her eyebrows knitting together. "It felt rather light."

Sebastian sighed again and picked up the bucket and guided her down the stairs, overseeing her steps. The last thing he needed in his mind was another memory of how her firm body felt. _Really, this is getting too much_ , he scolded his inner-self. _You are a demon - a soul taking, hellish, demon who other demons already think has gone past his time. Cultivating a soul when one is almost starving! They would have taken the young master, and the staff too, long before now. Ah, but the meal will be so much better_. He glanced at the maid as they walked down below, turning off into the washing room. Mey-Rin had stopped sputtering her apologies and had even wiped her face free of tears.

As the only female in the house, Sebastian felt bad for her. Perhaps he should ask the young master for a female companion for her. It could aid in her distress, redirect her mind, maybe she would learn her job. Rolling up his sleeves after he took his coat off, he lifted the bucket into the sink and turned on the water a bit.

"Mister Sebastian?"

He thought he heard a voice beyond him and turned, raising an eyebrow at the maid as she was standing extremely close to him. "Yes, Mey-Rin?"

"Are you mad?"

"No." And he wasn't, he realized. He wasn't mad at her, or the fact she had not double checked when she thought it was too light. He wasn't mad because, well, he finally sighed, turning the facet off, because she had been hired to protect the manor and the young master, not clean it. She was an expert in killing, not mopping. But like all things, she tried her best. Even when trying her best meant more work for him.

"Good," she said quietly. She fiddled with her glasses absentmindedly as he took the bucket in hand and turned toward the door. His hand reached for the door knob but he thought better and set the bucket down and turned toward the maid.

"Are your glasses particularly giving you trouble?"

A startled look crossed her face, what amount he could see around the rather large glasses. He longed to see her eyes.

"Y-yes, Mister Sebastian," she stuttered. Her hand stilled in adjusting them and he heard her more relaxed voice come out. It sent something deeper into his mind and body that he wished he could capture and place somewhere else. "The headaches," she muttered.

Instead he acted. He took the two short steps to close the gap between them, and lifted off the tinted spectacles. He watched, fascination driving him to stare almost, as her light brown eyes came into view. It had been awhile since he had seen them.

"Better?" he asked lightly, all his normally harsher tones disappeared in that one word.

Mey-Rin blinked and blushed, nodding and turned away a bit. Sebastian scowled; was she not happy to be seeing clearly? Was she not appreciative that his appearance was pleasant to look with her extra sharp eyesight? The anger boiling up surprised him. Why should he care? Why would a human - a woman who could shoot as well as he could tear up a body - be affecting him so?

"Look at me," he heard himself demand. A panic rose along side his anger as her eyes slid oh so slowly towards him. He watched as she looked at his chest, at her eye-level, and lifted her sight to his face. But, he noted interestingly, she did not lift her head to look up at him, like she normally did when she had her glasses on, which were delicately pinched between his right thumb and pointer, dangling in mid-air between them. No, she rather chose to look at him from under dark, full, eyelashes. The breath he held escaped his body and he stared at her, the almost human part of him fled and he felt his demonic needs rise much closer to the surface then he allowed them when she was around.

"Yes, Mister Sebastian?" her now clear, lightly Scottish accented voice hung in the air between them.

He licked his lips. He couldn't help it. Damn he wanted Ciel's soul - was bound to the boy and would execute his every boyish whim, excluding some which were beyond he felt was his duty as a butler. But Mey-Rin's one glance, one he had not seen or tried to see in a long time, unleashed his want for a different thing. A more primal part of his nature.

He wanted to consume her body.


	2. Chapter 2

There was too much lavender in the bath soap, but Sebastian pushed the smell away as best as he could. He knew that after the late afternoon's events in the washing room, Mey-Rin needed a steaming hot bath. She needed something to perhaps settle her nerves.

He had fled the washing room like a boy caught peeking at a woman undressing. He had dropped the glasses in her hand at least, missed the bucket by the door, and ran. He ran so fast that the breeze of his wake had made Finny gasp as he was pushed into the door frame, Sebastian moving too fast for the teenager to see. He had dug his heels into the gravel, in front of a small cottage on the far side of the property and dropped to his knees, not caring his pants would be dirty. Not caring his tailcoat was back in the washing room and his sleeves still rolled and secured. Such an unacceptable look for a Phantomhive servant, such and an unacceptable look for a demon who had let himself almost launch himself at a human in a most passionate way.

He had consumed many souls, had intertwined himself in many bodies in sexual ways, but this… this one human. He could not. He stood, and unlocked the cottage door, entering his private sanctuary away from his other one in the manor. Here he could sit on the floor and think, surrounded by the rescued cats he had collected over his years bound to Earl Ciel Phantomhive. The meows of greeting and excitement of his presence made him calm. The purrs of contentment sunk into his body and he felt the vibrations deep in his soul. For he had one. He had carved one out for himself at least. Stroking one in his arms, he went through his other daily routine of enjoying the currently six Phantomhive cats trotting after him, their little voices telling him all about their day, any interesting things they had seen in their outdoor adventures, or the dreams they had while he was gone.

"Oh Heron, really, that is not nice to say about the young master," he scolded one of the larger, white fluffy cats. He caressed Heron's long tail. "He is allergic to you so that is why he scowled. Honestly, your feelings are too delicate." Heron simply leapt off the counter and strutted away, throwing one last expletive at him before curling in a ball in the patch of sunlight.

The other cats gathered tighter around their master, eager faces looking at him as he cut up the fish he stored in the icebox for them.

A grey and white sat on his shoulder, and nuzzled at his cheek. He smiled; the warm fur was inviting. He scratched Allabina's cheek and got a louder purr. She was his first cat he had brought to the cottage and she had made it clear she ruled the master's heart first among the cats.

"Ah fine," he muttered and finished placing the bowls around the kitchen area. He placed a bowl in front of Heron and watched as the white cat turned his bright green eyes up to him. He gave a small mew, a half apology, and Sebastian stroked his fur and stood.

"Thank you for your faithful service," he said, bowing toward the cats as they noted lightly he was leaving them again. He closed and locked the door, checking the two cat doors to make sure they were open and the water bowls were being properly fed by the spring he had dug for them. He loved his cats. He loved delicate things.

He paused as he was about to run back to the manor to take over the evening meal preparations. Could he allow himself to feel this for the maid? Her eyes flashed before him and he groaned almost in pain. They looked at him as if she was unsure about her own feelings. But surely she was. Surely the woman had sorted it out by now; she was a servant, he was above her in employment, and feelings toward each other was forbidden. No, he reminded himself, the local customs of this age don't preclude such feelings, but rather the acting upon them. If he…

"No," he scolded himself aloud. "She is a Phantomhive maid. I am its head butler. I am a demon, for hell's sake! She is a mere human, I could break her and not feel… I should not feel anything if I did."

Satisfied he had convinced himself on the surface to avoid the maid, dismiss his deeper feelings, and carry on with his duties until the time came for him to consume the young Earl's soul, he once more took his flight to the main house. He executed dinner in his normal flare and had patiently and attentively looked after his master. He had given his orders to the staff in his normal brisk manner, and had put Ciel to bed without the rather astute boy asking any questions. He felt proud he was able to conquer his ludicrous feelings toward the woman. He had made his usual rounds of the grounds, of the house, and was walking back up to his room in the manor when he had faltered. The smell of lavender and sweet vanilla had collected in front of the bathing room for the servants. He groaned as he turned and looked at the closed door. It was far away from the others bedrooms. Next to his. How could he sleep now as the intoxicating smell drew him to step closer and closer to the door? How could he not be so resolved to leave and sleep somewhere else - anywhere else - punish himself for the rising emotions he had not addressed properly whey they had first crept up in him?

He pressed an ear to the door, even so he could hear her fine even from the stairs, some 20 feet away. He closed his eyes.

"You are so stupid," her clear voice muttered. He heard a splash and a yelp. Another strong hint of lavender came through - she must have dropped the soap in the water. "Oh great, now I will smell like flowers."

He smiled. He liked the smell himself, and he suddenly straightened. She was using his soap. The soap had touched…. He backed off and shook his head. _Honestly, this is too much for you to be entertaining. Go to bed!_ He bit his lip and turned toward his own door, almost through it when he heard the unmistakable splash of a body getting out of the bathtub. He looked over his shoulder and wished he could see through walls. His body longed to see her body. Naked and open. Unblemished and perfect. Soft in the womanly ways a woman's body was soft and hard where her trained muscles lay in wait.

He melted, like water and smoke under the door, his caporal body forming just as the small bedroom door opened. The shadows were both protecting him, and was him, as he looked at the woman, wrapped in a simple towel, smelling so alluring as her own vanilla scent played with the lavender tones of the bath. The light in her hand flicked as it chased the shadows and sought to do the same to him.

A startled cry and a dropping of the towel and a quick breath of intake, blowing out the small flame, plunged the pair into darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

If there was supposed to be a swelling of magical, unheard, and utterly romantic music as the whole situation unfolded, Sebastian's expertly tuned, demonic ears heard none. Instead there was stumbling, bumping, and a lot more yelping and noises then he wanted. The last thing he wanted was for Mey-Rin to be found naked - she was a lady first and foremost. Sebastian did not think about what the other two men would think when they saw him standing not in the doorway, as one would expect if he arrived first on the scene of the yelping and flailing maid, but rather in the room, as if waiting.

"Shush," he hissed and closed his eyes in frustration with himself. This was not how he had envisioned this. Of course, he chuckled inside, he never actually envisioned this at all. Well, no, he did. Many times. Too many many times. "Please, lower your voice."

"Get off my towel!"

He raised an eyebrow - she was scolding him for stepping on her towel? "Many pardons. Perhaps we should close the door?"

"Perhaps you should light a candle so I can see where I am going," she hissed at him. She gasped as he began to summon flames from his fingers, and stumbled over the dropped towel, falling into him, making him sprawl over the bed, her subtle body on top of him, now only partially covered in a towel, the flame going out almost as soon as the whole event started. "Damn it!"

He smiled into the darkness she had plunged them back into. "My, what language."

Her hand connected to his cheek. Almost as soon as that happened she sat up, squealing. "I-I'm so sorry Mister Sebastian! Oh my! Oh… I-I am … Oh god."

"Please, it is me who should be apologizing. I was improper," he said, holding her. His fingers subconsciously moving in circles over her hard waist, sculpted by her late night workouts he would watch many times as she ran a circuit in the woods, climbed trees, and do lift bricks over high walls. Each of the servants had their own routine to stay in shape, although he wondered about Baldroy sometimes. His workouts seemed to be more focused on smoking.

"Mister Sebastian," Mey-Rin said, startled. He removed his hands which had traveled up towards her uncovered breasts. It was he who turned a shade pinker, thankfully unseen in the dark room.

"The door," he started, trying to form words. "It is open a bit still."

She turned and he tried to look anywhere but at her lightly bouncing breasts at the motion. If he did not suppress all his desires she would be not questioning his motives soon. He was thankful she could see in the darkness, but not as well as he could. He needed no light at all to see the way her lips pursed together as she looked back or the way her eyes squinted, trying to soak in all the light her human eyes could. He watched as her chest rose and fell, her taunt stomach moving, the way her half shielded legs still were on either side of his own hips. He closed his eyes and bit his lips. She was so close and he could just reach out, wrap his hands around her, take her hard and fast, satisfying all the needs her body screamed she would be able to.

"Please, the door," he pushed through his clenched teeth, fighting his manly urges. Her naked body moved off his clothed one and he felt relief as the weight was gone, and he watched her wrap the towel around her torso, and picked her way to the door, now free from any obstacle. She turned and found her matches, striking one again and lit the fallen candle and put it back in its holder. She turned and stared at him, still sprawled on her bed.

"Mister Sebastian," she started, her voice smooth and even. "I am not sure why you are here."

He looked back at her and searched her eyes. Mey-Rin was not mad that she found him lurking in her bedroom, rather a bit curious. "I… I am not sure why either. I wanted to," he paused, at a loss for words. "I wanted to apologize."

She regarded him for a moment and stepped beside her bed, placing the candle on her bedside, throwing the room into different shadows and light. She paused, eying the bed and he shifted, sitting up, his back to her. She sat on the edge of the bed and wrapped her arms around her, holding the towel firmly in place. "I am not sure why," she said after another pause.

He didn't know why either. "It's just easier…" he stopped and stood, fluidly and flawlessly. "I should bid you good night and leave." He took two steps before her voice stopped him.

"Please, don't leave."

He turned slowly. This was where things could get even more dangerous. His emotions - the demonic ones and the human ones - told him to stay and told him to move toward his human maid. His rational brain stopped him before he got to her bed and sat beside her or before her. Sebastian felt the panic and anger build again and he looked down at her, pleading with her to break the torment.

"I shall not, if you do not wish me to," he breathed.

Mey-Rin, a short woman who never let that stop her, stood. Sebastian's breath caught. He planted his feet even as his brain told him to flee like he had earlier. His emotions wanted to take her into his arms. It was too much, and before he could do anything she spoke.

"Why did you leave me standing in the washing room?"

He let out a laugh, low and quiet, minding that it was close to midnight and he did not want Baldroy or Finnian barging in. He raised an eyebrow. That was why she asked him to stay? She needed and answer, but what could the demon say?

"I did not want to scare you."

She snorted and simply looked at him, waiting. "I don't believe you, Sebastian."

He looked her over and smiled slowly. She was in her domain and he the one to command. She used his name only and in a confident voice. "I see."

She blushed, suddenly very aware of her forwardness.

"Please, don't do that, I like the confidence I saw there," he said softly, placing his fingers on her cheek and turning her gaze back toward his. "You don't get to show it much, do you?"

Mey-Rin held his gaze for a moment and shook her head. "The young master needs a well kept home, and comfortable surroundings. It's my job to keep it that way, but I seem to fail."

His fingers stroked her cheek for a moment and he smiled, a real, genuine, smile. "My dear, you are not equipped to be a maid. You are an amazing marks-woman and skilled in defending the manor and the young master." He lifted her face higher to look down at her in open wanting. "You are never going to fail in anything."

"Sebastian," she breathed.

If she was going to say anymore, he cut her off swiftly, suddenly, surprising even himself, as he placed his lips firmly, possessively, over hers to still them and transmit the only way his body would let him, how much she was needed by the staff, the young master, but most importantly, by him.


	4. Chapter 4

Her fingers were in his hair, her lips moving with his, and he felt her need in the slow kisses and the tugging of his clothes to close the gap between their bodies. But she was too short, and he was too tall. His arms wrapped around her and he lifted her, still kissing her slowly and delicately. He felt the strong legs wrap around his waist and he pressed her closer, deepening the kiss, his body urgently wanting her body on his.

"Mey-Rin," he breathed as they parted for her to suck in deep breaths. "My sweet, sweet Mey-Rin."

She smiled and kissed him lightly. "If I can be so bold," she whispered, blushing, "you sound like this is not the first time you thought about wanting to say those words."

He laughed lightly and shook his head, her hands firmly planted in his hair still. "You have no idea how hard it's been for me to want to kiss you when you have forgotten the water in your bucket, or broke all the dishes. You frustrate me and make me feel things I should not feel."

She kissed him deeply and pulled away, her eyes dancing in the low candlelight. "You are a peculiar man, Sebastian."

His mind wanted to voice his answer: _you have no idea_. But he merely looked at her, his arms wrapped around her waist, shifting lower around her right hip and up her right thigh, tracing it to where it wrapped around his own waist. He groaned; his need was going to have him dragging the towel away from her body if they did not separate.

"Please, Sebastian, I don't mind you looking at me," she whispered into his ear as she kissed his cheek lightly. And in an instant the flimsy fabric ripped into a million pieces and floated around her room, her naked body on his clothed one. He leaned down and placed her on the bed, feeling her desire - her feelings finally sure and firm in his mind - as she unwrapped her legs and laid where he was laying just half an hour before. Her breasts rested on her chest, sure and proud, and he let his eyes finally milk in her body.

His hands traveled down her body and down her legs, feeling the burning heat of her desire through his gloves. He wanted to tear his own clothes away, melt into her, conform his body into hers and take her. Strong and sure. Claim her body for his own pleasures. Stroke deep into her and make her feel everything he secretly desired. But he stilled himself, digging every piece of patience he could still muster. His fingers traveled up to her apex and he spread his hand over it, the heat reminding him of the warm embers of hell. She bucked into his hand, and her eyes flickered in the dying light of the candle. He smiled; desire, raw, unabashed desire. Mey-Rin let a sigh escape and he smiled broader, she knew this was a breech and she did not care. A moan brought him back to her lips, and as he kissed her, he pushed his fingers past her velvet folds, dipping into her.

"Sebastian." His name was like a prayer on her lips.

He pulled away and took off his tailcoat, returned to his person after he finished dinner. His eyes stayed on Mey-Rin's as she watched, biting her lip as he undid his gloves and rolled up his sleeves. Finishing securing them, he bent down and kissed her on the lips, and began to move down her body, showing her how his feelings became naked to her own, to her body, and to his own awareness.

Mey-Rin had made his stoic demeanor crumble as she moved swiftly through her natural skills, and with the grace of a tornado in her maid duties. He found it curious, and then frustrating - how could she be so sure in one job, and so terrible in another. Cleaning up after her was tiresome. He wondered many nights as he paced around the long halls of the Phantomhive manor if he should not simply take her glasses and take the consequences of her sharp eyes seeing him move swiftly and inhumanly quickly. But slowly her smile and her quick wit outshone her milky glasses, and her overly squeaky voice, had found a place in his mind and his favor. And the favor turned into torture as he wondered, not sure how he could let a young girl in his eyes, a mere baby in his long life, turn into something a bit more than another servant in the long line of servants he had moved along with, just as he did with the long line of souls he served. His craving for her falling and him catching her became overwhelming many times, and the afternoon visit to his secret sanctuary was an often occurrence. Her working out in the woods in the nights had made him pause too long to watch, memorizing the lines of her body when she would strip to a simple shift dress, making it easy to move, easy to see how it clung to her curves. He would retreat to far place and take out his emotions, sometimes on objects, mostly on his own body. He would curse her very presence as he would take his own needs in hand and released himself, imaging the very body he now was running his hands over, his very lips were touching, and feeling the heat and desire, smelling her aroma as he kissed into her thighs, closer and closer to his fingers, and her apex.

"Mey-Rin," he breathed, finally leaning into kiss her blooming flower, the strong aroma almost making him loose his form completely.

As his lips tasted her, the flame on the side table flickered once more, lighting up his eyes, making sure Mey-Rin saw his delight as he licked and then savored, the dying of the light and her growing resolve as she bucked into his mouth.

 **A thank to those who are following and reviewing. It makes me so overwhelmed and blush like our sweet heroine when I see people enjoying my humble offerings of sometimes clumsily clunked words placed in an order that even I sometimes marvel at (ya, I just said I fan girl over myself.. ego much?) It makes me actually want to update faster... like a chapter a day or so. I have a few (er... lotish) written... but... the torture is so beautiful. Oh, hey Sebby, you and the muse plotting against our lovely readers... sheesh. And, now... err.. til the next chapter. /TastingLatte**


	5. Chapter 5

Sebastian sighed and opened his eyes. He blinked and looked at the warm lit room. Sitting up he grabbed his watch and clicked it open.

"Oh no," he breathed and in a flash he was dressed and down the stairs, in the kitchen, turning on the water for the kettle and pinched the bridge of his nose. How did he even let himself get so far off schedule? Of course, his perfect memory came up and replayed the previous late night's episode. He sighed again; the line he had kept himself so far away from was erased, smashed, dismissed completely as he had dined on Mey-Rin's sweetness and giving her the pleasure of screaming into her pillow as he smiled and drew it out as long as he could. Her lips still sizzled on his. Her taste still lingered in his mouth.

"Mister Sebastian!"

He turned and looked at Mey-Rin, back in her smartly pressed uniform and her glasses on her nose. He smiled a bit at the surprise in her voice. "Mey-Rin," he smoothly greeted her like he had every morning since bringing her to the manor.

She stood in the doorway and he wondered why she stared at him from behind the milky glass; she could shove them into her perfectly groomed hair, nestle them in her cap. He bit his lip; Sebastian wanted to see her brown eyes drill into his red ones like they had before the flame had died and they did not bother to stop to re-light it until both were finished.

"I didn't hear you come down," she said at last, moving toward him. He watched as she lead with her hands, smiling as she felt the table that now separated them. "I didn't hear you…" she paused and leaned a bit forward, "leave last night."

His cheeks colored and he leaned a bit towards her. "You had fallen asleep and I did not wish to disturb you. You seemed rather, well, content."

Her cheeks flared up into a deep red. "Thank you."

The whistling of the tea kettle broke into their moment and Sebastian turned and placed a cup before her and placed a few leaves in the strainer and poured the boiling water over them. When he was done filling the cup, he pushed it towards her.

"It was my pleasure," he replied finally as her fingers curled around the delicate china. Her hands were steady as they took the cup off the saucer and blew on the hot liquid. Sebastian held his breath, again, as she sipped a bit of the liquid.

"Perfection," she breathed.

"What kind of butler would I be if I could not do things perfectly?"

She took off her glasses as she replaced the cup and pegged him with a desire-filled look. "I wish to repay the favor." He started and glanced behind her, making her raise an eyebrow. "Not here," she said almost in a laugh and voice that betrayed her words. Sebastian licked his lips; how utterly scandalous she was being.

"I… I am not sure that is necessary," he finally replied.

She pulled back, almost like he had physically struck her. "Oh," she simply said and replaced her glasses and turned and left him to stand with a boiling kettle, one slightly fresh cup of tea, and a soon to be grumpy young master if he did not turn and shake off the wounded look in her eyes as Mey-Rin walked out of the kitchen.

"I don't mean to pry, Mister Sebastian, but what did you do to Mey-Rin?" Baldroy asked as he casually strolled into the kitchen. He saw the cup of tea and picked it up, swirled it a bit and tipped it back all at once.

"You have your work, so do that and mind your business," Sebastian snapped, suddenly not feeling any friendly feelings toward any of the staff.

He was a fool! A utter fool to have said and done anything about his private struggle. He was a fool to take advantage of Mey-Rin's obvious attraction to him and her desires she expressed last night with her forwardness after she had closed the door, not kicking him out as she should have, if she was anything less than … could he really put the emotionally laden word on her to describe the feelings? Was Mey-Rin in love with him? He balanced the silver tray of tea, cakes, and the seeping tea. His mind tried to erase the lingering word; he did not love, he enjoyed. He highly enjoyed last night. He had let himself cross the line. And as he walked into the young masters bedroom, seeing him already sitting up, waiting for him, Sebastian turned to quickly scold himself. _You desired her body and soul and gave her a taste of what you wish to give her, stop trying to justify and dismiss. Let yourself be happy._ He poured the tea flawlessly even as his mind, and his body did not feel flawless.

He would have to find Mey-Rin and grovel. He would not merely ask for forgiveness, he would beg. _A demon begging!_ He selected a shirt and pants for his master and let him change before buttoning the shirt. If he was lucky Mey-Rin would forgive him. If he wasn't, he would spend many nights in the memory of his one night with her.

"Sebastian! The shoes are too tight. Honestly, focus," Ciel scolded him. Sebastian looked up and nodded.

"Yes, my lord, I am sorry."

"Just don't loose focus. I think I have meetings all day?"

Sebastian shifted his mind, and rattled off the meetings the young master would be indeed having all day. Several for his family business, Phantom Toys, and others as friendly inquires into the everyday happenings of the young Earl. Each, Sebastian knew from experience, would make his young master demand him at various times. If he wished to mend with the maid, he would have to work fast.

He started by greeting the manager of the Phantom Toy company and his team of designers, each carrying a few boxes, filled with concepts and projections for his young master to approve. Settling them all with tea and sweets, Sebastian moved effortlessly out of the study and through the halls to the second floor, where he heard Mey-Rin crying softly as she did her chores. It was Wednesday, so she was shoveling the young masters' fireplace.

He did not knock and was soon silently kneeling beside the red-headed maid, as she shoveled the dust of the used logs into a dust pan. He placed his hand over hers as she finished dumping the contents, making her gasp and look at him.

"I spoke too sharply and too quickly, my dear," he started. "I took more pleasure in last night then I should have allowed myself, and I am not sure how I should proceed. I am the head butler, and you are the maid; it was inappropriate for me to be in your room last night."

"I asked you to stay," she stated matter-of-factly. She took off her glasses and sighed in relief and shoved them into her hair, her brown eyes now free for him to read. "It was I who was also inappropriate. But," she continued, rocking on her heels to sit a bit straighter, "I will not apologize for asking."

His fingers brushed the black streak that was on her chin, smudged with tears and a small glean of sweat. He pulled her closer and laid a kiss on her lips. He felt surprised in his own behavior, and then the giving in; kissing in daylight - in their masters room! Mey-Rin pushed forward and soon they were balancing on their knees, their hands on each others body, hers on his shoulder and forearm, holding her up, his on her waist to keep him from tipping further and placing her on the floor.

"I want you," he breathed. Mey-Rin's eyes widened a bit and he worried he had crossed the line again. Was there a line anymore?

She placed a finger on his lips and reached around and undid her apron, pulling it over her head. She stood up and looked down at him, now towering over him as he was still on his knees. He shifted and stared at her breasts. A growl escaped her throat and she lifted his head and leaned down to kiss him.

"I want you too," she confessed. "Last night… was that a dream?"

"I still taste your juices," he hissed, taking another kiss from her. The blush in her face was now of remembering the pleasure, not of embarrassing shame of having the pleasure.

"Please, let me draw out your dreams."

"Ah my sweet, I am afraid most of them will be torturing me because you would not be willing to fulfill them."

Her eyes flared again, passion igniting her curiosity and Sebastian stood up, taking off his coat and laying it on the very chair his master had sat while he tied his shoes. She did not say anything and began to unbutton his shirt. He gazed down as she undid them and exposed his equally hard body to her eyes for the first time. He shuttered as her feathery light, breathy kisses filled his being.

"Mey-Rin," he breathed - begged and prayed.

She placed her hands on his pants and undid them as well. He swelled in anticipation of what he knew she was about to do.

Her tongue darted out, wetting her lips. His breath hitched.

She sank to her knees and gave him the same look through her eyelashes as she did the day before - was it only yesterday he had sank to his knees and tried to harden his resolve not to touch the very woman who was before him, ready to touch his cock with her lips?

He hissed as he felt her hands wrap around his length and kiss his head. Her lips slid over him and he was pulled deeper and deeper into her, and he into himself, into the anchor he held as a corporal body. He shuttered as her touch started to make that security lift, and he shifted a bit as he came deep into the woman he would not be able to deny he supremely enjoyed every aspect of her being - her body and soul.

He bucked hard into her mouth and lost his form completely, feeling her drinking him all in as he revealed his form to the only other person in the manor who knew he was far from human.

"Mey-Rin!"


	6. Chapter 6

Three days later and the pair had successfully transitioned back to their previously normal routine. Sebastian was able to walk into a room, currently or recently occupied by the maid, and was able to keep his mind on the task he had set out to accomplish. Mey-Rin went back to her normal clumsy behavior and infractions in her duties.

Neither discussed the sexual encounters, particularly the last one where Sebastian had lost it and had turned into blackness while his cock was still very much down the maids throat. He had pulled himself back and had stood in front of the kneeling woman, her eyes still on his and her hands still on him, milking him like it was precious water. He had looked down and met the haughty gaze. He had looked down and put his hands in her hair and had thrust back down her velvety throat, throwing back his head and cumming again so quickly he was able to capture the look of wonder that went through her brown eyes. Ah yes, he was built like a horse and had the powers of instantly becoming hard, cum, and become hard again. His demon nature lived in the deepest of sinful thoughts and sexual needs.

"Mister Sebastian," her voice now suddenly cut into his private recollection. "Mister Sebastian!"

He turned and focused on the present. She was running towards him and he saw in a split second as her foot caught the edge of the long table in the unused hallway and he glided as she flew through the air, snatching his maid and obsession from the air like she was a falling feather. To him, she was. Instead of righting her, he cradled her in his arms and gazed openly at her body now close to his.

"Sebastian," she breathed, "Th-thank you."

"My pleasure," he stated. How his hands itched to brush the hair out of her eyes, push the glasses up and kiss her. Deep. Rough. Stripping her down to her naked form, stripping down to his naked body, slam her repeatedly into the table, taking the past three days tortured thoughts and pounding them out - literally - into the object of his supreme frustration. But he didn't, and in that moment when his arms lessened their possessive hold, he almost celebrated as she stayed in his arms and her fingers brushed lightly over his arms.

"I.. I am sorry - this is not a hallway I am used to coming down!" her face flushed. But she did not move.

"Do stop apologizing than," he said quietly. He wished his thoughts would be as quiet as she simply moved her head a fraction and sent sputtering amounts of desire down to his cock as her hair brushed closer to his shoulder. "Do you wish to stand?"

She licked her lips. He stared down and tried not to capture them with his. She brushed her hand up his coat-clad right arm and placed it on his shoulder. He stilled, waiting for her sudden forward behavior dictate his moves - perhaps she was wanting to sit up, not be passionately kissed and divested of clothes. She finally took her glasses off in a huff and reached up and placed them on the long table they were still crouched before.

"Please, Mister Sebastian, I don't want to play any games," she suddenly said sharply and sure. She turned her sharp eyes and tongue back at him, but did not move otherwise. "I have dreamed of nothing but you for the past two nights. Pouring my frustration into my workouts instead. Hoping to get better at my duties here so if you changed your mind about entertaining my body with yours," she blushed at the words, "I would at least show I was capable at something else."

"Oh dear," he whispered. Her weight was light but he shifted to sitting not half kneeling. He drew his long legs up as he pulled her closer to him. Her vanilla scent invaded him and he blinked back the vision of her breasts swaying as she enjoyed him licking her flower, only four nights previously. "You will never stay employed here because of that."

Her eyes flashed now with a hint of anger. She struggled to get up and Sebastian tightened his hold.

"Please, my apologies, that was not what I meant - or how I should have said it. My dear, please, still and listen." He used his velvet voice, the one he used when his young master was being particularly difficult or unreasonable. Like demanding cake for his meals instead of real food. "I meant to say you will always be here because I want you to be here. And," he spread his hand over her cheek, pushing her back to met his gaze, "I would not know what to do if I could not see you every day. If I could not touch you in the smallest of ways - even the simple brush of your hands as you tip the dishes out of them, or your balance makes your body collide with mine. I… I need those to stay in the moment and not turn off my emotions."

The raw truth startled him as it tumbled out of his mouth. Mey-Rin stared at him and slowly sat up, her weight shifting to ground his cock between them, his need having risen as he told her about his own feelings.

"I feel the same way," she mused. "I can't walk the halls and not smell lavender, and hope, as it grows stronger, you will be around the corner. In my excitement I forget to be careful about my limitations and buster ahead. I always enjoy your arms that capture me, not the wall or the ground," she muttered, sliding her hands over her legs and up her left arm. He flashed back to the small black and blue bruises he had briefly noted in his intake of her naked body. "My deepest fantasy came true when you were standing in my bedroom and I was sure I had dreamed of you pleasuring me as the night went on. Except you had left your gloves on the bed, on top of my daily clothes. Those gloves," she giggled, as she reached into her pockets, "are always with me to remind me that it did happen." She slid her eyes towards him again and he saw the smallest of wicked smiles. "And how much I would like to collect another pair."

Her lips were soft as they collided with his. Her heat was becoming too much for his body and he pulled away, holding her head gently and looking into her eyes. "And the other day, in the young master's bedroom?"

She looked down and took a deep breath. "I had really thought you were mad at me. You are the head butler, and I am only a maid, so your rule is what I have to go by. When you dismissed me, I… I was hurt. But I understood. We had crossed a line that should not have been crossed and you were reminding me of that, very gently, so I would not be hurt as your affections would never let me …" she trailed off and Sebastian pulled her gaze back towards him.

"The bedroom, Mey-Rin."

"The bedroom," she repeated, almost as if that same scene had been her private torture as well. "I was surprised at myself. I am not a lady who would do such things."

"But…" he started and paused. Had he not lost himself in her divine touch? Had he imagined it? Was his secret safe? But his emotions - the raging hard-on that made her weight borderline impossible to take - told him he would loose himself when she touched him intimately.

"Oh, you mean when you changed?" she ventured. His sharp gaze snapped to hers. "My dear Sebastian," she said gently. "I have known that defending this manor, and our young master had some unusual qualities to the job. I was given these leaden frames and glasses to make me remember I had a new position - and I am so happy to be a maid now. The young master mutters strange things to himself when he forgets that we are in the room. You are an omnipresence around the manor and seem to know where to be when you are most needed." She smiled softly. "I felt honored to see you in your other body. You looked like a beautiful angel."

His body, in that instant, seemed to bust into the heat of hell itself and demanded to be satisfied - deeply and finally in her body. He picked her up as she kissed him once more, thankful she was still in his arms and had not been traumatized by his actions.

"I promise not to do that again," he muttered against her lips as he laid her down on the table. "My own fantasies had been satisfied as you took me."

"Please, take me properly," she said hotly, lifting up her skirts. "I can't bare not having your touch on me any longer. Position be damned, I need you in me."

"My, my, what loose language for a young lady," Sebastian said, standing, her legs dangling off the table, on either side of his own legs. He took off his coat and folded it, leaning down and placing it under her head like a pillow. "I should make sure you are reminded of those early etiquette lessons," he hissed into her ear as she settled her head on the soft fabric.

"I can forget many lessons if you wish to remind me, Mister Sebastian." Her hands went up his chest and undid the top button. She paused and met his desire-filled gaze. "My dear love, would you simply make love to me?"

He snorted and she raised an eyebrow. His cock strained against his perfectly proportioned pants. "My dear, I can not be slow and gentle right now."

She smiled, knowingly and slide her hands down to his bulging front. "I don't mean you need to make love to me right now, perhaps tonight. I wish to be bold and ask for your cock to satisfy this fire in me - my needs such I would be considered insane if I said it."

He leaned forward, his pants being undone. "Say it."

Mey-Rin pushed his pants down his hips and his cock was heavy in her hands once more. She held his gaze the whole time and drew up her knees, her dress falling the fraction closer to her body the small amount of space between her and Sebastian's sprawling body allowed.

"I wish to be fucked."

"Mmm. That language."

He delighted as her eyes danced as he brought his left hand to his mouth and tugged off his glove. He clenched them in his teeth as he reached between them and sought her apex. He grinned around his glove as his fingers effortlessly pressed into her fold and drew out her wetness.

He turned his head and dropped the glove out of his mouth. "Mmm, you do seem ready."

"Sebastian! Stop teasing me! Please," she cried as his fingers worked faster into her body.

"But, my sweet woman, you wanted me to 'make love' to you - first now, then tonight. I am very confused when I should do this, so I may as well do it now, and later. What kind of butler would I be if I could not provide relief of that request?"

Her eyes flared with desire and she bucked into his hand and gripped his shoulders. "I said fuck me."

He took his right glove off in the same fashion and guided his cock into her folds and pushed into her, watching as all the feelings she had expected to feel dance quickly over her face and settle into a open panting gaze.

"Yes my mistress," he whispered into her ear as he plunged his cock into her.


	7. Chapter 7

**A few shout outs! Fraya! Oh ... *blush* I just do my thang... thanks for your kind words!**

 **VincyC - I hope you enjoy the rest of the journey in this lil' story. It's fun to watch them squirm. LOL**

 **Camiszkely - I have to translate your lovely comments, but they are so amazing when I read them! You are the sweetest! Mucho Gracias (and that ends my Spanish language skillz...)**

 **Lady Lachrymose - *hands you an oxygen tank* Just sit down, breath... I'll keep the updates coming, and you just breath.. I'd hate to have a reader pass out on me... So much paperwork. Oh and Sebastian is pointing out he would have to pause and make sure you are ok. Such a kind man... demon... something...**

 **Jareth's - Thanks! I figure if he can love cats so much, maybe he can talk to them. He seems to know things, and cats are sneaky. I know mine usually just lay around and watch the birds, but they can be chatty (especially my older one... if you don't hand over food, she will talk your ear off!)**

 **And all the others... aww... *squishy hugs***

Sebastian had not felt the hold of a woman around his cock in a while. He was more than skillful to take care of his own needs, but the hot tunnel he now was moving his cock through was like dining on the finest of souls - he envisioned taking the young master's soul would be the closest thing to what his body and mind was processing as he slide in and out of Mey-Rin's body. She kept up with his size and demand and was moaning lewdly into his ear, urging him to continue, to slate his desire upon her body. To push her dress up and place her knees over his shoulders, folding her as he swiftly took her sex up to his hilt.

Not a word passed between them. The air was thick and their bodies melted into the act they were in unison committing. Mey-Rin pulled him down and kissed him as she bucked back, her dripping sex slowly building to a gushing river as his cock drew out her needs and fed her his. He continued to rock her body into the wooden table, his hands now on her breasts, wishing that it was like in her bedroom, her body naked and he could see the shutters in her softness as he pushed the built up needs and desires, his hopes and fantasies, into this one moment, into her body, so willing and eager to take him.

If hell came to claim his young master, Sebastian would have allowed it. His desires for a real connection with a human was being satisfied. Mey-Rin below him snaked her hands to his back and felt her nails biting into his ass, palming them with the need to be taken to the heights again. He kissed her. The world collapsed and he only heard her breathing, her heart, her pants and felt the way her body was on his. No matter how long this would last, Sebastian reminded himself, this moment and any others like it, would be his most cherished private thoughts for eternity. His cock had impaled many men and women over his long existence, but none had openly wept for him to continue and to do it again and again - they usually stopped at size or his lusty ways of handling their fragile bodies as he slammed his desires into them. But his cock was made for the tunnel that was in Mey-Rin, he was sure. His size was accommodated quickly and she had seen his true form. She had wanted both and now cried out in pleasure as he brought her to an orgasm again.

"Fuck, Sebastian," she muttered into his ear and kissed him deeply. Her tongue vied for space in his mouth and they bucked faster. He did not want it to end, but her body was dangerously hot from his cock slicing into her and she was riding one orgasm after another, which, he mused as she exploded once more, she would not categorize as a bad thing.

"My darling, Mey-Rin, I must cum."

"Please," she moaned as she looked at him. "Please, my love."

And he slammed her into the table, listening to to it deliciously crack deep inside the thick wood, and released his need. He did not release his form as he had done when she had drawn out his need before, and he held himself deep and fast together even as he finished his release into her.

"Was that my lesson, Mister Sebastian?" she panted as they came down. He looked down at the wicked woman who had demanded him to be in her.

"I don't think our relationship is in a position for me to be scolding you for asking me to satisfy your needs with my own." He pulled out and smelled the rush of their liquids filling the air. He closed his eyes and licked his lips. They were intoxicating. And his knees hit the floor before he could stop himself and cleaned her thoroughly with his tongue and kisses. Meeting her gaze over her skirts, he smiled. "I can't have a lady walking around smelling of sex."

"No, I suppose not," she muttered and stroked his face. He stood and kissed her, helping her to stand. She leaned into him and placed her head on his chest. "My goodness."

"If you wish to have a proper etiquette lesson," he ventured, "I could include a more intense," his fingers slide up her arm, "focused," up her neck, "lesson," he ended in a breathtaking kiss.

"Mmm," she moaned as they parted. Her hands drifted to his still open pants and slowly buttoned them back up. "And how would I be paying for that lesson?"

"Whips and chains," he said, not hesitating. His favorite method of pleasure was torture. Well, he chuckled as he glanced at the slight indention in the table and the shimmering pool of combined cum on the edge and floor. It had been his favorite.

"Your room than?" she smoothly confirmed, only slightly shocking him.

"My, my, a bold woman."

"I intend to keep my lover."

"And splaying your body before him is how you think you will do so?" his tone a bit harsher then he intended and the widening of her eyes and the biting of her lip. "Damn, I am sorry."

She giggled. "Now whose language needs some lessons to fix?"

He crushed her lips with his. "My dear love, I said before I can't imagine staying focused without you. Your boldness surprises me. Your wit makes me laugh deeply. And your body, oh my, your body… well that will keep me on it for as long as you can stand it." He paused and smelled the desire in her again. "Because I can stay on your body alone, a long, long, long time."

"When should I be in your bed for our focused lesson?"

"Nine o'clock. Don't be late."

The lovers parted. Sebastian ran now with a lightness to his cottage, his cats meowing in congratulations of him taking his desired mate finally. He wondered, as he closed the door, if the cats had not grown as tired as he had in keeping his emotions and thoughts in check. He could now watch his maid, when alone with her, in open desire, knowing that her heavy glasses prevented her from seeing his face. It would be like before the past week, except he could melt into her room and they could share their fantasies together now.

He licked his lips as he placed the chains on his bed, waiting like the eager torturer for his infamous guest. His cock strained as he listened to her sock clad feet shuffled down the hall that had the servant quarters opened on it. The door to the bathing room opened and he heard the water run. Again he wished he could see through walls. What was she wearing? What was she doing? Was she smiling, waiting, eager? He groaned and almost took himself out and came from the very thoughts of how he wanted her body before him. Finally he heard her steady breath on the other side of his door. The door knob moved and slowly it opened, and his lover slipped into his room at last.


	8. Chapter 8

Her eyes shone and she held the towel around her body. Sebastian smiled, _ah the towel_. _Yes, that would be appropriate_. He moved and drank her in, openly and with all the lust and need they had shared in the hallway, and he was sure, in her own mind when she was alone. Now, oh now, they could join together and explore each of those private dreams.

"Do you wish me on the bed, Mister Sebastian?" she asked, her voice smooth and eager. He snorted and pulled her roughly towards him, undoing the small knot and ripping another towel from her body. He used his height to look down her body, her breasts and legs, her back and ass.

"Please."

She walked to the wooden bed, sat on the edge, and swung her legs on the bed. She looked at the chains and Sebastian's smile widened. He would be showing her how his kind took their pleasure from humans. This lesson was his test to her: did she really want what he was, what she didn't know he was, and what she really could have?

He grabbed her legs and dragged them apart, quickly placing them both in the silver locks. He walked to his closet and opened it, glancing back as she rubbed her ankles.

"There will be bruises," he said simply. Her eyes had a sliver of fear in them as they turned to him. "But you will not be hurt beyond that. Much," he added as he took his riding crop out. He flicked it and relished how the little leather crop made the still air sing.

Her body shuttered, either in desire, anticipation, or sudden realization she was at his complete mercy, he wasn't sure. He laid the tool beside her and lifted her right hand to the shackle. His eyes slide back over the naked form. Mey-Rin had been for a very long time under his mercy. He had barked his share of orders, demanding they all jumped to his voice. He had sometimes used his anger for doing their jobs to belittle them and demand more out of them, dismissing the fact they were not servants by trade. He took her left arm and stroked her delicate skin and placed it in the last shackle, spreading her out before him, on his bed, waiting with now an open stare as he undid his shirt and pulled it off as he slowly walked around the bed, staring as if he was a lion and she was the innocent lamb, ready and knowing she would be slaughtered.

His cock sought relief. He undid his pants and slid them down, her lips parting as his hardened cock came into her view. He had lit his overhead lantern and the room was bathed in a warm glow of candles around the perimeter, making it very easy for them both to see one another. He picked up the riding crop and let it sing in the air, watching as she winced as it came close to her stomach. He smiled and let it trail down to her sex, the one he would be punishing with his cock, if she was ready or not.

The lesson would be addressing one's superiors with respect, he said, his voice hard as his cock.

Her voice cracked a bit as his hand and fingers plunged into her sex as she sighed his name.

" _Mister_ Sebastian," he corrected, placing a second finger deep into her.

"Mi-mister Sebastian," she repeated, her hips lifting into his hand. He swatted her with the crop and she stopped.

"I will not tolerate stuttering in the presence of those who are in power."

"Yes," she gasped, "Mister Sebastian."

"Your voice must be smooth and even. You must not talk through your nose," he said, now moving onto the bed. He slid his hand over her folds, a finger deep inside her still. The crop now slapped her taunt nipples as he talked. "You must look at the person whom you are addressing."

"Yes, Mister Sebastian," she said as smoothly as she could. "Please, Master, please."

He grinned and leaned over her, his hands away from her hot body. "You have a request?"

"Teach me to please you, Mister Sebastian," she breathed. Her sweet aroma making his focus shift from her sex to her eyes. They pleaded for her release and his cock.

"Not yet," he breathed into her ear, his body hovering over hers, his own cock so painfully hard as he denied them both. He knew his cock was sliding over her flesh and she groaned.

"How much more can you teach me?"

He stood now, quick in a blink of an eye, beside her. His crop slapped her side, making her yelp. "A servant does not ask questions when one is waiting for orders. A servant does not make a sound when she is being scolded."

"Yes, Mister Sebastian."

"I was impressed earlier, when we _fucked_ , you did not make a sound. You must have wanted it very, very badly."

"Yes, Mister Sebastian, I did."

"A lady does not say such things." He cracked his crop on the inside of her right thigh, a red welt forming even as his crop sprang away from the skin. "A lady does not admit she wanted such things." A mirror welt formed on her left inner thigh. "I suppose a fine lady never becomes an assassin either, so your vocabulary may not be helped. However," he countered, now slipping the crop tip up her body as he moved slowly beside the bed, his hardened cock leaking his desire a bit. His crop slapped her breasts and made them jiggle, giving him a short sigh and a quick dart of his tongue across his lips. "A retraining of that tongue may do the trick." He landed his crop beside her head and Mey-Rin turned away for a moment.

He climbed back on the bed, now straddling her chest, not touching her as he placed the crop above her, on the small window sill. Sebastian looked down in a desire filled haze. The lesson to train her vocabulary would be their transition into him taking her sex swiftly and surly. But first, he smiled down at her, her eyes eagerly drinking in his large cock before her, she would swallow him once more like she had in the young master's bedroom.


	9. Chapter 9

Mey-Rin's sex was tight as he slid back into her slowly. They had been fucking for two hours, her legs still shacked but now their arms wrapped around each other. The bed was moving to the force of him pounding into her body, her breaths catching as she orgasmed again.

She had taken his cock in her mouth, as ordered, as she eagerly wished to do, and had taken the liquid already on his stiff member and spread it with her tongue. He had to hold the window sill and bit his tongue as his cock was slowly bathed.

"A."

She smiled and traced the letter on his head.

"B."

He sighed through the intense feelings his body was washed with. His mind drifted as he went slowly through the alphabet. Usually rocks would be placed in the mouth to teach the child with a speech impediment to make wider movements with their mouth and be deliberate in the movements. It had also been used as form or torture for those who blasphemed in church. Or to teach them to not say certain things.

"M."

He felt his need rise faster and he bucked deeper down her throat, growling as he released his first load into her.

"N."

She took each order with obedience. His cock was not rocks, but it worked to make her trace the letters on his sensitive skin.

"R." He paused and looked back down at her. "Trace your name."

She smiled and swirled an 'O' around his head before tracing out her name on him. The tongue was quick and amazing and he bucked a bit faster as he breathed his next order, his head thrown back in ecstasy.

"S - and my name. Oh love," he stilled and placed his hands on her head and released his second load into her, watching as she swallowed and traced a perfect 'S' on the underside of his cock. He watched as she finished the letters and drew out, his third load dangerously close to being taken. The string of saliva and cum hung between them and he undid her arm shackles and moved down her body. He slammed into her and released, loosing his form a bit more then he wished, his self-control all but taken by the boxen beauty below him.

"Sebastian," she panted, her hips slamming up into him in time of his own. She turned and moaned loudly into his neck. He had impressed upon her the need to be as quiet as possible during their time - if anyone found out, they would both be dismissed and shunned faster then they could grab clothes and find a new place to finish slating their desires.

"What is your desire, my lover?"

"My legs, please, my love, my legs," she panted as she continued to build back to another orgasm. "I want to be on the bed, take me from behind. Oh dear god," she shuttered as he moved faster into her.

His eyes flashed and he pulled out, undoing the remaining two shackles and flipped her. Her moan was loud, lewd and needy as he plunged back into her warm and wet sex. He was not joking before, he would stay hard and in her body forever. His hand curled around her mouth as she pitched forward, her face in the pillows, and screamed her release again.

There was no slowness in their touch now. It was sex. It was raw, unbridled need and sex. They was no soft caresses as he dug his fingers into her hips, her flesh molding around them, cushioning them as he pounded through her seventh orgasm. Her body was on fire, he felt it. He knew he should stop. He should finish and pull out, should let her body ride the last high, let her body process the pleasure his cock gave. But he gripped harder, slammed harder, fucked her fragile, human, body harder. There would be time to cuddle, to stroke lovingly each others face, take shy kisses from one another. Now, Sebastian grunted, now his fantasies and feelings were being feed into her, one steady stroke at a time.

Mey-Rin's eyes flashing as she raised the rifle he had given her, testing the scope. _Fuck._ Mey-Rin's clumsy sputtering as he passed her. _Fuck._ Mey-Rin's smell as she walked past his door, from a bath. _Fuck._ Her glasses covering her eyes. _Fuck._ Her blush rising so quickly on her face. _Fuck._ Her fingers as they brushed his coat, the numerous times she landed in his arms, the times she smiled at him, her slight shutter as he talked to her, the way she jumped as she realized he was in the room. _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck._

All of it came to the surface and flashed through his mind as he sped into her weeping tunnel. All of it were the reasons why he could look at the bare back of his bed mate and slam deeper. His needs satisfied by her body as they finally collapsed, his body gleaming with sweat and he had to be careful not to crush his lover, also covered in sweat. They panted, the air thick with their marathon sex. She shifted and her breast glided over his arm and she gasped in delight. Sebastian stared down and looked at her so soft and so hard, so human and so his.

"I think I can say with confidence that I have learned that lesson. And another one," she whispered, her breathy voice still gasping.

He raised an eyebrow and ran his hand over her breasts, kneading them and brushing her nipples into hard points.

"I love you with every part of my being, Sebastian Michaelis."

Without thought, he let the words tumble from his lips.

"I love you too, Mey-Rin."


	10. Chapter 10

His fingers glided up the railing and he smiled.

"Much improved," he muttered, looking down at Mey-Rin who lit up in pride.

His eyes took her in quickly and his mind calculated faster. He could kiss her and calm her blush before the young master came down the hall and stepped foot on the stairs. An acceptable risk.

His lips danced over hers and he wrapped his arms around her, knowing she would not see clearly him coming down to her. Her startled gasp, step back into his arms to catch her from stumbling off the stairs, and the gentle moan was reward enough as the soft lips of his now steady lover parted.

They had a routine, something manageable they both could predict and prepare for. The beginning weeks had been a frenzy of tumbling emotions, and Sebastian had successfully pulled them back, institute boundaries, and what was acceptable both in and out of their private quarters. It was what made their normal, before becoming lovers, lives work. They knew their positions here, on the stairs, head butler and maid, and they had discussed they needed the same behind doors.

"Sebastian," she scolded softly even as she captured his lips quickly once more.

He brushed his fingers over her perfect face and turned to meet his young master at the head of the stairs. He glanced down and saw Mey-Rin back scrubbing the dirt out of the carpet. The bobbing head shook her hair lightly as she moved her whole body into the removal of the dirt and her knitted brows betrayed nothing of their quick intimate moment.

"My lord," he said smoothly as the young master moved past him.

"I want eggs Benedict, in the garden. It's actually nice today," Earl Ciel Phantomhive said swiftly.

"Yes, my lord."

He moved past the maid, her swift curtsy and "good morning, sir," was normal and expected. He watched the small movements only his eyes could detect. Flawless. Like always. His heart pulled at him and he walked down to the kitchen, relieved that Baldroy was not in the vicinity. So he flashed around the kitchen, his speed put into the whipping of the sauce, the cooking the eggs to perfection, and pouring the morning tea with the same ease he did in breathing or relaxing in his lovers arms.

He plated the meal and walked out the back door, the silver tray balanced in his right hand and the tea pot in his left. A tickle passed through him as he entered the gardens and he cocked his head, listening around for what had pricked them. He smoothly placed the breakfast before his master, who was reading the London paper, delivered to him in his bed an hour before. The tea was placed in front of the boy and Sebastian stood and turned as a spear came for his head.

The super reflexes of a demon took over and he caught the spear in mid-flight and turned it and scanned for where he should return it.

"Sebastian - find that man!"

"Yes, my lord," he breathed even as he dashed across the lawn, spear in hand and launched himself and it into the forest area where he had seen movement. He darted around another spear and dug into his darkness to find the threat. A scream pierced the suddenly still woods. He stilled as well. The scream was agony. It was Mey-Rin's scream. He changed his position and ran toward the scream. He knew it was perhaps a stupid move, but, Mey-Rin, he needed to see her, find her.

She was in the tree, or more accurate, pinned to the tree. A spear was shoved into her left shoulder, holding her off the ground slightly. Her eyes were wide in panic as Sebastian came around the trees and into the small clearing. He stepped a bit into the pooling light from above and looked around for any sign of the perpetrator.

"He-he left," she said, gasping through the pain. Her glasses were askew and one of the lens was cracked and a bit of it had fallen, her light brown eye peaking through. "Sebastian."

And as quick as lightening, he had pulled the spear out, covered her mouth with his as she screamed in blinding pain, and pulled her back to the shadows. He laid her down in the fallen leaves and kissed her deeply, wishing he could heal the gap that was pushing sweet smelling blood all over her uniform, his gloves, and the ground. He lifted her glasses off and pocketed them, a flash of rage passing through his body and extending out to sense the person who had done this.

"Sebastian, the young master! He needs you," she said, trying to sit. A small gasp and she was on the ground, obviously in pain. He lifted her into his arms and ran his normal fast speed back to the manor, into the entry hall, and up to his bedroom. Laying her gently on the mattress they had made love on early that morning, he kissed her, a deep promise in the act - the person who had hurt her was as good as dead.

"Go," she urged him as he stood and took off his ruined gloves. He laid them down and looked at her.

"My love," and he left.

He had to find his master and protect him. Mey-Rin, Baldroy, and Finnian had almost super-human abilities, his young master was a boy, a human, simple, boy. He knew where he was from their connection. And Sebastian also knew he was safe and would not miss him as he once more ran into the woods, the smell of Mey-Rin's blood around him as he pushed it away and found the one he did not recognize.

Crashing through the woods, about two miles away, was something large, and as Sebastian started running, something soon to be very dead. The sounds of a person - human! - breathing came closer as he slowed to a casual stroll. _Just a smartly dressed butler having a nice stroll through the woods, murder on his mind_ , Sebastian smirked.

"Oi, what's you all about, sneaking here and there?" a man asked.

Sebastian winced; the improper speech would be enough to kill this one.

"I'm terribly sorry, sir," he said instead. "But my lord's house was attacked. Unsuccessful of course, however one of the most important members of the staff was hurt quite badly."

"Sorry about that, but I'ms not a doctor," he said, turning and walking again.

Sebastian reached out and smelled Mey-Rin's blood on his hands, most likely where he had shoved the spear in deeper perhaps. He left the man's limp body as he felt another presence. _Ah yes, a strong young demon_. The fear and jealousy rolled off this one in a delicious fashion. Sebastian had let himself indulge in his human feelings toward Mey-Rin for three months now, and had not properly unleashed his true demonic needs on anything in about twice that long. A smile, wide and full of dangerous intent spread into his now glowing eyes. He picked the lithe creature up from its hiding spot among the trees and slammed it's demonic body into the ground, feeling it shake a bit, and let his form and destructive nature rip into the softened form and also left the body as a warning to other demons.

"The Phantomhive soul is _mine_ ," he roared. "I will protect all who live within as well."

And he raced back, his fast pace made a touch faster by his unleashing of his destructive deed, and his longing to make sure his lover was all right.


	11. Chapter 11

"She was found in your bed, Sebastian," his young master hissed as Sebastian let himself be pulled out of the bedroom Mey-Rin was now laying in. " _In your bed._ Even you know how that looks."

"I was only thinking of her safety and comfort. She is wounded quiet severely," he said, reasoning with his young master. He bit back the fact that she had spent many nights in safety and comfort in his bed before she was discovered wounded in it. "I admit it may look rather inappropriate."

"Aw, hell, Sebastian," Ciel swore, earning an eyebrow raise. "Bard was stunned into not speaking for 15 minutes. _Fifteen whole minutes_ ," he said. "And during that time, he carried her to the extra bedroom and seemed to almost be in tears when he left."

"The whole staff is sweet on Mey-Rin," Sebastian noted.

Ciel huffed and turned and looked at the closed door. "If I was not so damn tuned into the smallest of things about us humans and our natures, I would have missed it. But," he turned and threw a look at his butler, glancing down at his soiled suit and once new, gloves, "I think the cook is rather smitten by the maid."

Sebastian quirked his eyebrow and nodded absentmindedly as his young master added for him to change his clothes. Bardroy and Mey-Rin? The image of the slightly older, _American_ , war hero, embracing his beloved and kissing her lips made him turn to the door where she was laying in the bed and pushed it open, before he went to change, as if he needed to see her, confirm she was alone and his master was not tying to tell him to take Bardroy out of the room.

The light of the hall sliced into the darkened room and he watched as the light rise and fall of his lovers chest was sure and steady. He turned and was about to go into the hall, change, and inspect the spears, when her small intake of air changed and he felt the pull on his being to rush towards her, making sure she was fine.

"Mey-Rin," he whispered. Her body shook and he pulled the blankets off her. Her shoulder was bandaged, but the small spots of blood still speckled the gauze. "My dear, Mey-Rin."

She gasped and opened her eyes, blinking into the dark. He struck a match and lit the bedside lamp, letting his image fade from the darkness and into her sight.

"Sebastian."

"I'm here, my love," he whispered, caressing her cheek. "You had a bad dream," he guessed.

"Y…yes. I felt like I was shot again," she whispered, her tongue darting around her dry lips. His own dried and he pressed them to hers.

"Oh my beloved, I am so sorry I could not protect you," he said, his voice breaking a bit. "You were not shot, rather impaled by a spear, in your shoulder."

"But… why?"

He shook his head; there was no answer to that question even in his own mind. He smoothed her wild hair and longed to gather her up in his arms, wrap his body around her delicate frame and be her protection. The feeling of failure seeped into him.

"Sebastian?"

"Yes?"

"Can you lay beside me while I fall asleep?"

"Yes, my lover, I can do that," he said, kissing her deeply. Standing he took his coat off, soiled and ruined. He took his gloves off as well and saw the slight stirring of longing in her eyes. His gloves came off when they made love and she had collected enough pairs to make anyone wonder why she had so many and wore none. Sebastian did not mind the weekend runs to buy dozens of new gloves if it meant he satisfied one of her strange obsessions. Quietly he got into the bed, carefully snaking his arms around her and cradling her head on his shoulder. The calming scent of her once more made him shut down and focus only on the small weight she placed on him. A weight that made him sink and soar. It was difficult for him to undo himself from her body, but he melted away, like liquid smoke and soon was picking his jacket and gloves off the end of the bed.

He looked at the sleeping woman he had shared many passionate moments with, and some non passionate ones as well. He silently and angrily vowed to find out why she was hurt, why his master was a target. He sighed a bit as he closed the door, back in the hall and placed a hand on the door, as if he could seal it by magic. He was a demon, he wanted to possess his masters soul, and he worked with humans who were dangerous sometimes even to themselves. Sebastian was always a target. But not he also had a reason to keep everyone away from his private paradise.

"You were in there a long time, Mister Sebastian," Baldroy's voice suddenly noted. "Anything you care to share?"

Sebastian's eyes flashed and he turned to face the ex-military man. "None of your concern," he spat.

"I think it is if the butler is in a ladies room for three-quarters of an hour."

Sebastian looked at the man and saw the same resolve Mey-Rin had when she asked him to stay in her room three months ago. It was lit by a fire that only human resolve could. He liked that kind of fire as much as the burning pleasure of a body that took his with all the delight and force only their weakness could manage. Humans had long moved from a wearisome existence to a fascinating study. And Baldroy's slow balling of his fists made Sebastian smile a bit.

"She had trouble sleeping, and so I went in to assist. What kind of butler would I be if I could not assist in such a small task?" he finally answered, smoothly and truthfully.

"You couldn't get her warm milk and some biscuits?"

A smile twitched at his lips. _Ah so the young master was indeed correct._ Being the Queen's Watchdog meant the young master had to go into the darker parts of London to quell the underbelly of those who lived and worked there back down. Being able to detect lies was his usual domain, but the young master was rather good at seeking out people to talk to and who were trusted informants.

"Mey-Rin likes neither, as you know."

Baldroy surprised him as he took the three remaining steps to close the gap. He took his cigarette, unlit, and jabbed it into the closed door's direction. "You leave Mey-Rin alone. She is a lady and deserves to be treated as such. You need to let us common people take care of our own. She is just fine in my hands."

And he turned and left, stomping down the hallway, finally leaving Sebastian to smile fully. "In your hands?" he muttered. "Ah you don't know about her wicked hands, human."

Sebastian glided up the back stairs, changed into a new suit, snapping on new gloves, and went to join his master in his study, ready to met this new threat, if he had not fully quelled it in taking two lives just that late morning.


	12. Chapter 12

She moaned under his expert touch and sighed into his eager mouth, taking each pleasurable sound and delighting in it. The staff had gone to the London town home, and he had come back to collect his maid, Ciel insisting that this was safest way to split up while they investigated. London was crowded, which meant more opportunities to continue to try to hurt Ciel, but it also meant there were more access to people who could help. The smaller home would keep all the staff in a smaller space, and not so easily separated if the were targets as well.

Sebastian had urged the horse and carriage back to his beloved as swiftly as it would move. And here, now in the bedroom she had been moved to a few weeks ago, he was laying beside her, her night gown dangerously high on her thigh and his hands drifting it higher as they kissed.

"Please, my love, make love to me," she pleaded as his hands skirted the top of her sex.

"You're hurt my dear," he said, sure of her next rebuff.

"My arm, not my sex. Not yet. You have not satisfied me or yourself in three weeks."

He moaned. How he had wished so many times over the weeks to take his lover and slide his cock deep into her, rocking her into the blissful sleep she enjoyed after they made love slowly or the reckless fucking of their needs. He kissed her and smiled.

"Oh I took care of myself many, many times."

"Make love to me now," she moaned as his fingers dipped deeper into her. "Oh gods! Please my love. I'll scream and plead if you only obey my needs!"

His pants came off and he held her as gently as his raging cock and emotions would let him. Swiftly he planted his cock deep into her and he threw his head back as she screamed his name. Oh yes, this was what they had needed. He had comforted her by sleeping innocently next to her almost every night, coming to her in the middle of the night. He even slipping past Baldroy, who had started to sleep in a chair outside her room. He'd cover her mouth with his hand and kiss her forehead when he wanted her to wake and share the few kisses her pain would only allow. But as she healed, she wanted more - she wanted this, what Sebastian was steadily giving her. She curled her hands around his ass and bucked faster as her first orgasm in three weeks pulled her under and made her gasp his name.

"Sebastian! Oh fuck! Oh… yes!"

He sped up, his need for her body and the heat slamming him into her, making the solid bed shake with their delicious sin. There was not a soul in the house and he laughed as his lover suddenly shouted as she came again. He loved the sureness she had when they were alone, and when they were intimate.

"Say my name."

"Sebastian!"

"What do you command my love?"

"Ah fuck me! Fuck me harder! Make me cum so hard and float. Oh gods!"

His eyes glowed as they drilled into hers. "Yes, my lady," he said in his smooth commanding tone. He would obey any order his lover gave, and it pained him to see her so needy. He would satisfy the need and then some - his job was to always keep her near him to ground them both to each other.

His mind flashed to Baldroy, his empty threat of hurting Sebastian if he hurt Mey-Rin. He laughed; Mey-Rin would not be able to walk without the delightful memory of this afternoon. The familiar heat in her body rose and he came, dumping his cum into her and hardening again to keep her burning. There was nothing more satisfying than feeling her right hand on his back and her left, which could now be lifted better, on his shoulder, her mouth open as they panted, her eyes on his, and their bodies slapping together, filling the large room in their sexual act. His body exploded again and he lost his form, no longer afraid to do so as he fed his cock into her body, her body drinking in every stroke and still demanding more.

He held the headboard and drilled harder into his lover, pushing her into the pillows, her body moving in time to his demanding thrusts. He had lied. He did not satisfy himself while they were apart. He built the anger and need up and had sought the manufactures of the spears, finding that they were stolen from various museums. Roman spears, as old as he. He growled and watched as Mey-Rin kissed his sweat covered chest, her breasts bouncing to his pounding.

"Fuck," he growled at last, feeding her hot body his hotter cum and taking gasping breaths to steady his mind and breathing.

"Mmm. Language, my dear," she panted as she placed both her hands on his face and smiled up into his face. "I should teach you a lesson."

"Fuck," he breathed. "Shall I pay with it in my body?"

The same conversation, the same delight, the same weeping desire for each other.

"Yes, and with whips and chains."

"I look forward to it. Say, nine o'clock?"

"Will the staff be asleep by then?"

He smiled and rolled off and beside her. "I can drug them."

She lightly shuttered. "A servant does not make a sound when he is being scolded."

"Mmm, my words coming back." He kissed her deeply, his hand once more pawing at her exposed breasts. "I shall be there to take my lesson."

"Please, do not be late."

Sebastian flipped her around and they hissed at the pleasure as she sank down on his cock. He smiled as she bounced on his cock. If she stopped teasing him, the would make it to London in time for his lesson. But, he also mused, as he watched her breasts and hair fly around, staying away from everyone else could have benefits to how well and thorough his master would go to gave him his lessons.


	13. Chapter 13

The air was thick and musty, and Sebastian wished he could turn off his sense of smell.

"Something clearly died here," he muttered.

"You don't say," his young master's muffled voice responded. He held a handkerchief to his nose and mouth, and picked his way through the sewers delicately. Sebastian walked carefully but did not squeal when he stepped in sewage. _Another uniform to replace_ , he thought.

"Talk to me," Ciel finally said.

"My lord, I don't think announcing our presence and making who ever is here be prepared, is wise."

"I need information to keep my brain from telling my stomach to loose its lunch."

"Very well, my lord. Any requests?"

"You, Mey-Rin, and Bard. What the hell is going on?"

Sebastian glanced back at the boy. "My lord?"

"Aw, common, don't play like you are suddenly dumb." He paused and pulled the material away from his face, scrunching it as the foul smell hit him. "You and Bard have had this tense stand off over the care of Mey-Rin. I can see that as you two stalk around place, like two alphas ready for the other to bite first. You seem to be happily adding to the fire."

"I just am not sure where you wish me to start," Sebastian recovered smoothly. He turned and continued to walk, listening to the smaller heels click through the muck. "I did not know Baldroy had anything more than simple friendly feelings toward Mey-Rin. I am not sure if he felt anything before she was hurt. And it's not like she hasn't been hurt before," he added smoothly. He smiled a little; his lover did have a flair of falling and bumping into things, and sometimes he was not there to catch and stop her.

"True," his master mused. "But she has never been laid up for longer than a day because of her injuries."

"I do not see how time would be a factor in Baldroy's feelings."

"But what is going on with the three of you? How does Mey-Rin feel about this?"

Sebastian smiled widely. _Ah a trap_. His young master was using his Watchdog skills on him again. "I would not know, my lord. I have not inquired about that. I have merely dealt with Baldroy, and that has been in the kitchen, when he is in there."

"He just seems to be spending a lot of time in front of her door, even at the town house," Ciel said, sighing. He shook his head and huffed, "The staff having relations with one another, humpf!"

"You think it has crossed that line?"

"He certainly obsessing over her recovery a bit."

Sebastian stopped and held a hand up as he listened. Voices could be heard down the tunnel and he tried to see down the dark tunnel as well. There were three beings, not sure if they were human or not, but they were moving something.

"I think we best pause our discussion, my lord."

Ciel nodded and walked behind his protector once more. Sebastian used everything he had as a demon to guide and protect his young master. It was a delicate balance; he wanted to satisfy his masters orders because that was how he gained a more perfect soul to consume. A contract that was not perfectly executed made a eatable soul - he rarely passed on any meal - but perfection was his highest goal. He was long done with eating anything he could and looked upon those demons who still did, as savages and lower beings.

The light finally was brighter and he could sense the beings - human. He smiled and turned toward the Queen's Watchdog.

He bent and whispered, "My lord, three human men. They are moving paintings and precious works that were no doubt stolen as well."

"Two cases closed because of one discovery?" His lips tugged at the corners. "I will be the Queen's favorite pet once more."

Sebastian smiled and nodded. "Your plan?"

"To use you as my sword and cut them down."

He placed a hand over his chest and felt the tingle of their contract on his hand. "Yes, my lord."


	14. Chapter 14

Mey-Rin had shifted and Bardroy had shifted to block her. Sebastian stepped on the last stair and watched the exchange at the end of the hallway. He noted that her glasses were not on.

"Let me leave, Bard," she said, her voice not hiding her annoyance. "You are sweet to keep an eye on me, but I am not going to loose my arm between here and the bath."

"You need rest," the cook growled.

"Not right now," she shot back. "Now, I need a hot bath to make my muscles relax."

"I could rub them," he suggested.

"Please do not put your hands on her," Sebastian growled low and threatening. The thought that the other man would place his hands on his lover was enough for him to loose a limb. Mey-Rin placed a delicate hand on his arm and he focused, looking down at her. Sebastian blinked and slid his eyes toward Baldroy. "I can watch over her to make sure she does not get further hurt herself, or _others hurt her,_ " he added with a slight growl.

Bardroy huffed and moved out of the way for the maid to pass. "This is ridiculous."

"Yes, it is," Mey-Rin said, wheeling around and looking at the cook. "Mister Sebastian is the head butler, it is _his job_ to look over us. And as extension, make sure if we are hurt, we are properly cared for. Sitting outside my door and inspecting everything that comes from the young master or Mister Sebastian is not helping me get better. Bringing me more bandages and assisting with the wound care would have been helping. Besides, after a month, I can move my arm much better and not because you sat in front of my door!"

She turned back toward the bathroom and Sebastian felt her rage roll off her. He smiled as he drank in her emotion as she moved past the men. As she entered the bathroom, Sebastian turned his attention back to the cook.

"Leave the house, get some air. Mey-Rin is fine and she needs space."

"She scared me, Mister Sebastian, when she got hurt. I mean," he rubbed his neck. "She gets hurt a lot, but this - she could have died."

"I know," he said softly. "But she is strong."

"She needs to practice with a gun, I can see that look in her eyes now - the itch, Mister Sebastian. It's the itch of someone who needs to get out and blow things up."

Sebastian looked over the man and took in a deep breath. "I have been trying to place what that look meant. Thank you, Baldroy. I will take that under advisement as we pack and travel back to the manor this weekend." He saw the other man stiffen at the kind words. He smirked and added, "Do not stay here one minute longer, though. You have work you have been neglecting - do it."

"Yes, Mister Sebastian," the ex-soldier said, standing tall and giving a salute. He raced down the stairs and Sebastian heard him go straight down to the kitchen, most likely to simply stand in the room, looking over the food Sebastian had just bought, trying to figure out what to make.

Sebastian rubbed his face with his hands and turned to the closed door of the bathroom. He lightly knocked and got the usual "occupied" response. He smirked, he was going to occupy her in different ways. Opening the door he stuck his head in before slipping in and locking the door.

"I know I locked it," Mey-Rin mused from the tub. The water barely came up to her breasts and Sebastian smiled as they stood firmly on her chest, inviting his longing glance. "Is Baldroy gone?"

"Yes, my love, he is. And I hope he will remove himself as your guard. Slipping through your window is easy, but I do miss simply walking into your room," he said smoothly, as he undid his coat, folded it and undid his shirt. He slipped it off slowly, relishing the building desire that was now rolling off his lover. He took his gloves off last, in her favorite manner, with his teeth.

"Get in here, now," she sighed as she watched him undo his pants.

"My dear, there is not enough room," he answered, toying with her as his cock slowly came into view. "There would be no room for the water and myself."

She stood, and he groaned, her nakedness glimmering as the water slowly dripped down her body, falling in small drops off her breasts, off her sex and rolled down into the water. "I guess I better get out."

Sebastian was hard and had her against the wall, beside the tub, in a flash. Her breath hitched and he took her mouth with his, and plunged his right fingers into her sex. After drawing out some of her sweetness, he took a hold of his cock and slide into his maid he loved. He loved her. He really, with a true and deep emotions, loved her. He held her legs as he sliced in and out of her wetness, their eyes locked and the sound of lewd sex slowly built around them.

"Be mine for eternity," he breathed into her ear.

"I already was planning on it," she breathed back as her legs locked around his back. Her arms circled around his neck and he walked them away from the wall, now bouncing her deliciously hot body off his cock with the power of a demon.

"I want a child with you," he finally said, almost to his first climax. "A child that will turn you from a human to a half-human. My seed - a baby - in you will change you."

She panted openly as she climaxed with him. "I... I need you. Feed me our child Sebastian," she said a bit louder than he wished, but he complied. He let himself give her all of his seed at once, and covered her mouth as his cock pounded into her, the waves of ecstasy flowing over her like waves in the ocean. He fed her all his love, all his dreams of a baby, all of her being his forever.

"Forever," he whispered as he finished and Mey-Rin was full of his need and was limp against his chest. She kissed his shoulder, neck, and finally his mouth.

"What do you mean, change me? Half-human? What are you, Mister Sebastian?"

He shuttered, as he always did when she was impaled on his cock or naked next to him and she addressed him so formally. He glanced down and knelt, laying her on the soft carpeting before the tub she had been bathing in. He did not want to pull out of her depths, and her legs kept him deep in her.

He stroked her hair and looked deeply into the eyes that he loved as much as the rest of her. The question had been an easy one to answer, and he said it plainly, as if it was obvious by now: "I am a demon."

Her perfect mouth went into an 'o' and she looked him up and down as if she could see something demonic about him. He smiled a bit and lost his form a little. Her moan of desire surprised him; even so they had made love for close to five months, and he had sometimes forgotten himself deep in her folds and had shifted to his demonic form, she had never really questioned it, just accepted his oddness as part of the charm, and she still desired him that way as well. He gathered himself and leaned down, aware of the now small thrusts she was giving on his still hard cock, still buried into her sex.

"I love you," she whispered. "I love a demon." She giggled and pulled him down into another kiss. "Fuck me."

"How did I fall for such a human like you?" he asked, mostly himself, but he saw the answer under him, now bucking with demand as she slowly took her satisfaction off his cock. "Do you wish to be bound to me for eternity?"

"Yes," she breathed. He studied her body under him, her sex now wet once more, her hands on his chest, and looked deep into her eyes. She was aroused and longed to have his cock, but he knew deep down, past her demanding thrusts and touches, she meant it. He slammed into her. He slammed into her so hard that it shook the floor and he heard the water in the tub splash a bit. He could hear the chandelier down stairs tinker a bit as it swung. He kissed her.

"My darling, I want this child and our eternity to start today."

She smiled and laughed suddenly. "Are you worried Bardroy is going to come into my room, climb into my bed, and impregnate me first?"

He sneered at the thought and almost gagged. "I'd fucking kill him as soon as he set foot in your room."

She climaxed at his words. She bit her lip and pulled his head down to her breasts. He took them dutifully and sucked them even as she rode another two orgasms. Sebastian felt everything his lover was going through. Her scent, still vanilla at the core, was now always tinted with lavender and her smell changed as they made love. Her desires were always around him, and he had let himself smell and enjoy them as he took his delight in her as his bed mate and now, he continued to thrust, his life mate.

"Sebastian!"

He flipped her over and pulled her deep onto his cock, knowing his already large length and girth was made to seem even bigger. He gripped her hips and slammed nonstop into her. He had a child to give - although they had many times over the past months that she could have gotten readily pregnant from the amount of seed he placed into her body, now he purposely did so.

 _Oh god, I will have to tell the young master,_ he thought as he watched her strong arms support her body. He reached around and placed his right hand on her sensitive breasts, capturing them as they jiggled in time to his needs being met, stoke for stroke. _He already thinks there is something going on between myself and the maid, and Baldroy is somehow involved._ _I can't do this to her. I can't do this to my love!_

He pulled out and let his seed spray the walls and her back. He felt tears prick his eyes and he could feel the confusion in his lover as she turned, her hands groping for his cock to place it back in, to get her pregnant.

"I can't, oh I can't," he whimpered, suddenly not as demonic and sure as he always was. "I'm sorry my love, I am … just sorry."

He picked up his clothes and fled. As he moved, he replaced his clothes, dashing past Baldroy, not touching him even so he wished to kill him so he could have a child start growing in Mey-Rin, free to stand beside her, without her being suspected of being taken by force by the head butler. He knew Baldroy would shout the accusation. His lover was a lady, and she deserved to be seen as unblemished.

And he ran to the one place he could pour his emotions into - the back door of Hell.


	15. Chapter 15

He was able to slate his desires fully on the damned soul below him, his cock pulsing in and out, day and night howling his release. How many times he had closed his eyes and seen his beautiful lover under him as he slide deeper into the body below him? Too many, too many and he tried not to close his eyes. She would be protected from his desires - like he should have done in the first place. He let his cock abuse the body below and let his form go, his cock sending his seed into another creature he did not care about, just used.

 _I should have punished her and left. Fucked and wanting. Desiring. And denied each ounce of pleasure I had allowed._ His mind punished his thoughts even as his body did the same to whatever he could drag to his bed.

He pulled out and picked up the long whip. Hell was a place of dirty passions and sweaty sex. It was a place of deep needs being only a little slated for those souls that were captured and brought here. For the demons, it was a delight on the senses. So hot and loud. So much so he wore his cock out in pride, making other demons, and damned souls, beg for a taste, for a fuck, for a night in his bed. He cracked the whip and once more relished in the sound. His bed companion still had his own cock limp and unsatisfied in his hand, the damned soul tried so hard to achieve an erection and satisfy his own needs.

Sebastian smiled, his wicked sexual smile, down at the man. "You are in hell, my dear. I am the master here, and your body is for my pleasure - not yours." He laid the whip solidly on the man's back and watched as the flesh - or what they at least passed off for flesh down here, rip. The sulfuric blood, much like his own, splattered across his naked chest, sizzling.

 _"Sebastian."_

He recoiled at the name and threw back the whip harder, making the damned soul cry out even more.

 _"Sebastian!"_

He sneered and wrapped the whip around this moments companion and pulled the man so he sat on his knees. He thrusted deep into the man's body and rode his ass like he was riding a horse. But he was the one with the horse cock.

 _"Sebastian! This is an order!"_

In his demonic craze to leave Mey-Rin intact and unharmed by his own needs - and her desires that fueled them - he had not said anything to his young master. Earl Ciel Phantomhive was calling to him, summoning him from the depths of hell. His own personal torture being placed above the contract he held. Sebastian slammed into the man below him and howled. If he did not go to his masters side, heed his call, another demon could easily take it as a breech and possess the soul he was cultivating.

"FUCK!" he yelled as he came hard once more. He ripped the leg shackles holding the man to the bed and turned. As he fluidly ran back to the ground above, he shifted from his nakedness to his clothes that had been given to him by the very master that was still calling him.

 _"Sebastian! For gods sake! This is an order \- come home. NOW!"_

He felt the familiar, comforting burn of his contract. "Yes, my lord," he muttered as he burst through the small door to hell, and stumbled into an alley of one of London's more questionable streets. As he exited the alley, he got a few questionable looks from the whores who lined the road. He looked at them quickly and they backed off; smartly dressed men with the soft glow of hell in their eyes were to be feared, lest their bodies be invaded but not satisfied.

He took off, flying through the streets and effortlessly arrived at the Earl's town home, slipped inside, and stilled, kneeling before his young master, in perfect obedience. In perfect humbling before a mere human. In submission to whatever punishment the child wished to hand out.

Ciel stood in the middle of his study, his eye patch dangling in his right hand and was looking down at the demon butler. Sebastian hazarded a glance up and saw the hard eyes of a man who had seen too much pain, and was still in pain. They were not meant to be set in a boy of 15.

"My lord," he said in deep respect.

"You left without permission a week ago."

"I am sorry, my lord."

"Why? And I do not wish to hear lies - you know you promised not to ever lie to me."

Sebastian's hand sizzled in remembrance of the vow. He took a breath and let it out; no one but his master was in the house. He must have stayed in hopes that Sebastian would return to the town house sooner than later. He didn't want to betray his lover by revealing their acts and reasoned, if he talked about his feelings only, that was not a lie. If his young master only had asked a different question.

"My young lord, I do apologize for leaving, however I had to. My own emotions were overwhelming me."

"That is a poor excuse. Elaborate," Ciel said, his voice hard and firm.

"You asked me about Baldroy, Mey-Rin, and myself. I was only partially honest in saying I did not know about my own, Mey-Rin's, or Baldroy's feelings before she was speared in the shoulder. I did not know their feelings to one another, if any, but I knew my own. My own emotions for both of them. For…" he paused and looked up at his young master fully. He took a breath and finished the sentence, "Mey-Rin."

Ciel stilled and blinked, his blue eye suddenly rounding and he turned to walk to his chair and thought better of it and wiped around. "You have feelings toward Mey-Rin? The _maid_?"

"In all due respect, she is not a maid. She is an assassin we rescued and you made her a maid instead."

"But your emotions - your _feelings_ \- are toward her? She can hardly stand on her two feet without falling over some dust particle that floats around her!" He threw up his hands and the laces of his eye patch fluttered as well. "What kind of feelings?"

"Affectionate, my lord."

He watched as Ciel finally collapsed in his chair. He eyed him and replaced his eye patch, holding his strings, his visible eye demanding he return to his duty and tie the strings on the patch that hid their bond. As Sebastian's fingers expertly tied them, Ciel continued. "How long have you had these? Have you made them known?"

Sebastian stiffened. He had asked a question there could be no way around. "I have been made aware of these emotions five months ago. I have thought how to express them, yes." _Ah! A loop hole! If I keep it in the past, I can tell him what he wants to know._

"And…" he paused and leapt from his chair and turned to face Sebastian. "You don't have any idea how awkward this is!" He looked at Sebastian and then away. "Elizabeth had asked if we can move our wedding up to next year. I had already hoped by now…" he sighed and gazed out of the window.

"Do you wish to end your life so quickly?"

The look in Ciel's face said he did not want to ever face the end, but he did not say anything. "Fix this, please, for all our sakes. Fix this situation. I… I can not advice you how. But I can tell you I do not wish to replace any of my staff."

Nodding, Sebastian ventured, "May I at least reveal my feelings? I am not sure how much more I can hid. It's a burden I am having trouble carrying alone."

Ciel backed up a bit more and held his hands up in front of him. "You most certainly are not going to discuss it with me."

He smiled. "No, my lord, I would not dream of being so inappropriate," he added silently, _with you._ "If the situation is between the three of us, I can help ease the pain by letting Baldroy know I care about Mey-Rin as well and will protect her against anything." He paused and dug deeper. "May I court Mey-Rin at least?"

The young master's face flushed and his cheeks colored. "My god, Sebastian, I am not her bloody father! I said do what must to fix the situation. I am tired. Ready the carriage and pack my bags. I wish to be home by dinner time."

The young, flustered master walked out of the room, leaving Sebastian to slowly, and smugly smile.


	16. Chapter 16

Sebastian sought his lover out with the single-mindedness of a man in love. He wanted to take her swiftly in his arms, carry her back to his bed, and finish what he had started. He wanted her to transition. He wanted her forever. He wanted a child.

Baldroy stood in the way of him turning down the small hall to the servant's quarters, away from his own. His arms were crossed and had a hard look on his face. _Oh dear,_ Sebastian thought, _I have to deal with him first? Is it not already hard that I have to deal with him at all?_

"Baldroy," he addressed the cook.

"Mister Sebastian," he said smoothly back.

The men stood in the hallway, like a stand off. One would win. And odds always favored the demons when faced by humans.

"She has not stopped crying. For three. Whole. Days," he said, punctuating the words by jabs at Sebastian's chest. "What in the name of holy things did you do to make her cry?"

"Why do you assume it was me?"

"Don't play coy, Mister Sebastian. She came out of the bath screaming your name. And I raced up there thinking you had your hands someplace, and she is weeping about how _she_ was sorry and how she just wanted to talk to you."

Sebastian felt the crushing emotions close around his heart and his brain went back to telling him to forget the maid, forget the past five months. It was a toy he had broken and had to cast aside - Baldroy was better for her anyhow.

"I did nothing inappropriate for the situation," he said at last, even while cringing. He had panicked. He had pulled out, he had fled and left her on the floor, almost fully satisfied once more. He had given her his seed and enough of it to become pregnant. He paled. Could she already be with child? He knew that she would welcome his child growing inside her, but… he looked back at the cook. "I need to see her."

"She is crying - _again_ \- because I told her you were back."

"If she wished to talk to me, then why would she be crying again?"

"I have no bloody clue! She's a woman!" He barged past Sebastian and threw another look at the butler.

Sebastian turned and walked into his own room, but did not stay there. He turned into his un-bodied, smoky demonic form and floated quickly down the hall and under the closed, locked, bedroom door. He returned to his corporal state and watched as Mey-Rin was indeed sobbing into the pillows. He sat slowly on the side of the bed and placed a hand delicately on the back of his lover.

"Mey-Rin," he whispered.

"Don't tease me, Bard!"

He stiffened. Why would she say _his_ name when it was he who was saying it? Anger boiled and he grabbed his maid and flipped her over so she was staring, startled, into his face. "I am not Baldroy," he growled. "And if he touched you -"

"What? You will run again? You make the young master panic? He was in a frenzy after Bard found me and we realized you had left. _You left_. For a week no one knew where you had gone. I was… I still am, hurt. No not hurt. Enraged. You promise to give me a child, to make me yours, change me - whatever it was - and you get me to tell you my heart's desire is to have all these things - and with you, only you - and you leave."

She wrenched herself out of his grip and turned away. She slid off the bed on the other side and turned her fierily, reddened eyes towards him. "Go to hell and stay there!"

His anger flared and he leapt across the bed, pinning her hard to the wall, making the small picture of some pastoral scene shake on its nails.

"I did go to Hell. I did want to stay there. I wanted to stay there and punish myself. I needed to punish myself for all the things I feel for you. I am a demon! I am to be feared! And I take in a human into my mind, my body, my heart? Damn you Mey-Rin! I love you. I love you - I love you!" he growled, dark and needy. His emotions came tumbling out even as his form did. "I planned to punish myself for hurting you but I was brought back by the young master. I was brought back because no amount of punishment I can inflict on others, upon me, can compare to the hurt that I cause to you."

Her soft brown eyes were hard and shocked. He wanted to kiss her, rip her apart, slam his cock deep into her body, draw out pleasure, have her utter that she loved him. He wanted his life back before he had met her and let her smile and body stupidly gain control of his own resolve. He wanted their eternity to have started and hold their child, looking deeply in each others eyes as they planned another one. But nothing was said. Nothing moved. He dug his nails into the wooden wall behind her and growled, pushing off and turning away.

"Don't leave," her small voice said in the barest of whispers.

He turned and his heart busted. "I couldn't even if I wanted to."

Her hands clawed at his face as she pulled him down and kissed him. He pulled her close and kissed her back. There was so many unsaid things in the kiss and he simply stood there, kissing her. She undid his shirt, his coat back in his room, and he let her undress him. She was the one he had hurt, she drew out his desire and would be the one to forgive him or not. She stroked his chest, the newly healing lines on his chest and back tinged under her fingertips. Mey-Rin's eyes flashed; if there was punishment to be met, she would inflict more happily. He sighed; he would happily take it all.

"Get on the bed."

He moved and moved onto the bed, stretching on the mattress he had taken her on several times. He stilled his arms as they itched to move to his pants, removing them. Her eyes flashed and she undid her simple dress, slowly letting it flow over her now almost naked body. Her breasts were held up by a severe corset and her sex barely hidden by a small skirt. He smelled her. She was angry, dangerously angry, but she was also aroused. Sebastian licked his lips; his cock suddenly tenting the little room he had in his pants.

"Don't touch me," she commanded as she moved to straddle his hips, her sex on his cock, the fabric straining to reach and slip inside her warm body. "I hate you."

She slapped him, firm and with meaning. The sting was like the one he had received when he had scolded her in this very room for her foul language. Now they freely took the commoners tongue when they took each other. She reached above him, her straining breasts in his sight and he drank in the round globes of flesh as they passed above him. His cock started weeping. She sat back and huffed, feeling the slight wetness and stiffness in his pants. Her hands revealed the riding crop he had hidden in her room.

"You will not touch me unless I ask," she said, the crop now singing in the air. "You hurt me so much. You don't want to have me with child - but I could already be, couldn't I?"

He nodded solemnly.

"Do you want me to be?"

"Yes," he hissed as the crop landed on his cheek. "I want you so badly to carry my child and we can be together."

She slammed the crop down on his already bruised chest, making him wince. "I could be carrying a demon baby. I could be empty. I could be anything but together at this point."

The crop came down again in the same spot, but his wincing was from her words, not the pain of his flesh.  
"I love you - deeply."

"And I love you," she said, slapping him again and grounding herself against his erection. "But I can't be with a man who doesn't trust me with his feelings."

"Mey-Rin, I have - I just…" he paused and grabbed her by the waist, flipping her and pinning her to the bed, breaking her command. "Your status here matters. If the staff or the young master suspected we were lovers," he drew out the word, making her shutter, "we would both be in trouble. You are a lady, I am a demon. These are not acceptable things one thinks of as being together."

"But no one knows you are a demon," she pointed out, trying to gather enough strength to get from under his body.

"The young master and you are the only ones, yes. But Baldroy and Finnian do not know. They fear me as a butler, not as a demon. I love you as a demon and a butler, and wish to take you right here as both," he said, kissing her roughly. "We made a promise and had not thought of the consequences. If you are pregnant, how could I protect you? I can't - you would be seen as a loose woman who became pregnant while in London. I didn't think of securing you to me in human terms, only in my own demon ones, and in our mutual desire to continue to be together."

She stilled as he talked, explaining his actions as best as he could. "If the staff and the young master knows we want to be together, would that make it better? Would you feel better?"

He blinked down at his lover. A human caring about his feelings? A human craving his harsh words and touch still and wanting him? "I want you happy and not have a blemish on your reputation."

"But, if I am yours forever, and I assume demons last forever, would my reputation right now matter?"

He smiled and kissed her softly. "No, I suppose not."

"You are a uniquely old fashioned, Sebastian Michaelis." She giggled, and added cheekily, "for an old man."

He snorted and shifted, her sigh letting him know she appreciated his reminder that his body was not old. "I have had my share of delights of the flesh. I have taken my fair share of souls. I have been messy and dirty. But, I rather like the delicate and delicious. I'm not old fashioned," he said, raising an eyebrow and looking down at her straining breasts and licking his lips. "I'm simply cultured."

Her laughter tumbled out of her mouth, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Well, that explains many things, Mister Sebastian."

"My dear Mey-Rin, am I forgiven for my horrid behavior?"

"Can I have your cock in me and get me pregnant?"

Sebastian had to order a whole new suit and corset over the weekend after his pants and his lovers delicate fabric were ripped to shreds and he did his best to fulfill his lovers requests.


	17. Chapter 17

Sebastian brought flowers and asked Mey-Rin to dinner in front of Baldroy and Finnian. Finnian had squealed and clapped his hands as he watched the pair leave the house that evening. He had requested the teenager clip the finest flowers from the manors gardens and had wrapped them in ribbons himself.

The pair had agreed that for this moment, this lifetime, would appear to be proper and court, as the custom of the time. Sebastian had felt bad for taking her to bed before asking if she wished to be his. Of course her emotions and her boldness told him she had waited a long time for him to come and take her. Now, they walked to the cottage on the edge of the property. He would introduce his cats to his lover, and the would spend the night making love and continue their quest to get her pregnant. They had been actively trying for two months, and Sebastian had found Mey-Rin crying in the bathroom about her not being pregnant.

"It could be a while," he said, sitting on the floor beside her as she curled up in a different kind of pain. "Demon and human babies are rare, but possible. And if you don't get pregnant and you wish to be turned in another way," he rubbed her back. "We can visit that when we get there."

"But I will be old if I don't get pregnant soon!"

He laughed and kissed her head. "No my love, never old. Your body is ready for me, as is my seed for you. Just like humans, it may take time."

They had agreed to court for a year, publicly fall in love, and privately try to become pregnant, a much easier, and less painful way to have Mey-Rin convert to partial demon, and spend eternity with him. The young master had also become a lot more at ease with the staff and personal matters among them. Although Sebastian did not tell him he and Mey-Rin were sleeping together, or were trying very hard to become pregnant, he did tell him that he was seeing Mey-Rin outside the scope of his job.

"As long as my household runs smoothly," he had said dismissively and jumped back into the daily running of his small empire.

Sebastian scooped his lover up and kissed her as he ran to his secret hiding spot. He had sensed her body was changing as they tired to have a baby, and he hoped tonight would be the night. She was off her monthly and he hoped her change was due to her body being ready. Demonic seed was not as potent in humans as human to human seed was, and it frustrated him that he could not give her everything they wanted together. Seven months was a long time to have sex a few times a week, and a few times a night when they were able to get away to one of their rooms, usually his. Now that they had discussed everything - their feelings, fears, hopes and dreams - and now they were ready for a life together. To have a baby together.

"The young master seemed calm when we asked to have the night off," Mey-Rin said as she passed Sebastian a plate. She watched as he placed the delicately sliced salmon on the plate and scooped some vegetables on the side. "Did he know we were going to go out of the manor and see each other?"

"I may have told him I would fix the situation between Baldroy, you and myself. Well," he added, as he placed the plate before her and slid into a chair across from her, "he more of ordered me to fix it any way I needed to."

"And you waited two months to do so? Not very efficient," she mocked. He smiled and lit another candle on the table with a flick of his finger. He had delighted her with a few of his inhuman abilities to control elements, even to the point of creating snow in his room and making love to her under the covers.

"I was biding my time," he answered. "A cultured man does not rush into things," he added, tipping his empty crystal glass towards hers.

His hand curled around hers as they danced, ending the evening being watched by the curious gaze of a few cats who had not left the cottage for their own nightly activities yet. The soft curves of her breasts, waist and hips were all inviting his touch. She had chosen to wear a simple dress, with a simple corset, accenting her curves. Sebastian had memorized them all even before he had acted on his desires and slipped into her room seven months ago. He traced them lightly, making his way up to his lovers face, round and smiling. He knew she was impatient about not being pregnant, but enjoyed the trying as much as he did, and still she held on to a smile. There was another way to become changed but neither wanted to think about the pain and length that process would take. This one was already both in different ways. She stifled a yawn and placed her head on his chest, her breathing slowing down.

"My love, shall we go to bed?"

Mey-Rin sighed and looked up at him. "I know you wanted to have a quiet evening and continue trying, but," she yawned. "I am so tired. My master was pushing me to finish my chores early so he could sweep me off my feet."

"Lucky man," he muttered against her lips. And he swept her off her feet and walked up the stairs to the bedroom which took up the whole second story. He never needed to finish the second floor and had moved a bed in only a few months, in secret hopes of having a night like tonight to whisk her to his secret place.

He placed her on her feet and looked down at her. He lit the two lamps that were above the bed.

"Help me undress?" she asked, even so it was not necessary; she put on the dress and corset herself and could easily take it off. But this was also for his delight. Sebastian pulled at the corset stays and they fell away easily. Next was her dress and they slowly kissed as it floated to the floor. She climbed into the bed as he picked up the garments and folded them, a habit really since neither cared if their clothes were on the floor after a night of passion, or a night of simply holding one another.

"I'm sorry my sweet," she said as she curled into his arms, her breasts brushing his chest and her legs wrapping around his side. "Maybe a few hours of sleep will give me the energy to try again."

He nodded and stilled. "Mey-Rin, your monthly was two weeks ago, correct?"

"Yes. We made love two nights ago, and all last week."

He calculated and sighed. He had hoped that the fatigue was because she was with child. "Not yet, my dear," he muttered, to himself, as he listened to the woman in his arms softly drift to sleep.

He was awoken by a kiss on the cheek and he blinked. Rarely did he sleep. He closed his eyes to pass the time, but sleeping was something that was rare. He turned and saw Mey-Rin smiling, blinking a bit of the sleep out of her eyes still. "My love?"

"Just wanted to wake you so I can make love to you," she said kissing him again. He felt her hand on his cock and smiled. She had often woken up hungry for him. "I love you."

"I love you too," he sad quietly and helped her shift onto him, feeling her wet sex and her hand guiding him into her.

He watched her close her eyes as he slipped deeper into her, her guiding her body down his length. No matter how many times they made love or just fucked, the feeling of her warm tunnel on his large cock always made him even harder. They did not say a word, just stared into each others eyes as they stroked each others desire, exploding in moans and small noises. They had to be quiet when they were in the manor; his hands slipped to her breasts and roughly pinched her nipples, making her yelp.

"Scream my dear," he said, flipping her over and pounded her into the mattress. "No one hears us out here. What is your command?"

"Fuck me."

"Yes, my lady, however I asked you to scream for me."

She licked her lips and moved her hands over his arms. She rode her first orgasm and Sebastian drank in the vanilla scent floating around him. She lifted her eyes to his and licked her lips again. "Sebastian, fuck me. Oh gods - FUCK ME!"

A night they had planned of gentle love making turned into a heated desire and rough sex, the kind they had not had in months, and as they panted, clawed, and shouted, was months overdue. Sebastian planted his seed into her in a roar she joined in as the sun came up.


	18. Chapter 18

They walked into the kitchen together to prepare the morning staff meal and the young masters' breakfast. Sebastian held her as she cut the bacon and dropped kisses on her neck as he listened for the footfalls of the staff. He almost took her again as she looked over her shoulder and kissed him deeply, her eyes full of desire. He kissed her nose and slipped the glasses back on as Baldroy came down the stairs.

Sebastian did not miss the look that Baldroy gave him as soon as he saw that Mey-Rin was not alone.

"Morning," he grumbled and grabbed a piece of buttered toast and walked outside.

The cook muttered a few words and Sebastian chose not to hear any of them. He sneered; of course he was being petty and had asked Mey-Rin to join him for a quiet dinner before the cook could even muster another word of admiration toward the maid. His hands flew as he diced the chicken to make lunch.

Mey-Rin had fully recovered after being impaled to a tree, held in place with a spear in her left shoulder. She had been delighted when Baldroy had asked her to join her on the firing range, on a piece of property the young master owned in the next county. Sebastian had not felt any jealousy as he watched them leave; Mey-Rin had left his bed only moments before they had left together. He kept an eye on the pair, respectful of Mey-Rin's decision to entertain the cook, but always was delighted by her body and kisses when she returned, each time a bit more like the focused and exited woman he had bedded before the incident.

"A penny for your thoughts, Mister Sebastian?" Mey-Rin said, looking up at him through her milky glasses.

He knew she saw only the blurred outline of his face, and felt the weight of the metal frames on her nose. Both caused her headaches and her to stumble into things, or over nothing.

"You can have them for free," he breathed, leaning down into her ear. "I was thinking of us, as usual."

She delicately shivered and blushed. _Ah, the blush of an innocent woman, who isn't innocent_. He brushed a piece of hair that had escaped her usual hairstyle out of her eyes and kissed her forehead, pulling back as both Baldroy and Finnian walked toward the kitchen. "And here comes the rest of the circus," he muttered.

Mey-Rin giggled and moved around him to find a bowl.

"Mey-Rin!" Finnian said, a hint of delight in his voice. "Mister Sebastian!"

Sebastian turned and scooted out of the way of the maid, who had found a bowl to break the eggs into and had swung around, almost hitting him in the stomach. She really was a different person when she was wearing her glasses. It was like she was pouring all her concentration on seeing, she missed a lot. He smiled a bit; she missed nothing behind closed doors.

"Finnian," Sebastian said now. "Would you go and fetch the morning paper?"

"Oh," he said, his face falling a bit. There was a desperation in his eyes as he looked between Mey-Rin and Sebastian. Sebastian sighed and shook his head.

"Never mind, I can do it," he said, smiling. _Leave the servants to pry and gossip_.

He walked out of the kitchen and down the hall, and heard the men ask questions of their night out.

"Did he dance with you?"

"Did he touch you?"

"What did you eat?"

"Where did he take you?"

"Was it oh so romantic, like you hoped?"

"Jeez, Finny! She looks like she is about to have a nose bleed! Quit asking questions."

Turning he dashed to the end of the manors' lane and retrieved the wrapped paper and undid the twine as he dashed back, standing beside the back door and flipped through the pages, listening once more.

"We had a lovely evening - and no, he was not improper, Bard," she was saying. She was right, Sebastian mused, _he_ was not improper. It was _she_ who begged _him_ to fuck her. He shivered at the memory, one of many.

"Did he cook for you? He is an amazing cook," the teenage gardener said, his voice laden in admiration.

"Yes, salmon, very well done," she responded.

"And he was a perfect gentleman?" Baldroy asked. Sebastian felt himself ruffle his feathers. If he could walk into the kitchen, his demonic wisps and feathery touches of darkness surrounding him, he would. But Mey-Rin most likely would scold him. He paused. It would be worth it.

"Yes, Bard, he was. Mister Sebastian made sure I got into bed at a reasonable time, unhurt, as you can see, and still in one piece." She sighed and he moved down the hallway a bit, peeking around the doorway, catching her standing between the two men. "If he asks me to dine with him again, I would say yes."

Finnian clapped his hands to his chest and sighed a Mey-Rin worthy sigh. "You are finally so happy."

"He's a damn intruder," Baldroy muttered.

"He is the head butler! He hired us," Finnian gasped. "You should not say things about Mister Sebastian. He has always been good to us. It's us who have failed and make more of a mess. I don't want to think about going back to where I was before he and the young master took me in."

The mood soured and Sebastian chose to walk back into the kitchen, among the staff, and flip the paper over the iron board and take the iron to the paper. The three were silent and he felt them watching him. He straightened and folded the paper neatly.

"I was thinking of impressing upon the young master to go to the river," he said, looking at them. "I would think he would wish you all to come as well."

Baldroy crossed his arms and Finnian's face lit up. Mey-Rin smiled slowly and nodded her head. The mood lightened, he gathered the eggs and fruit that had been cut and put in the ice box.

"Prepare the carriage and your selves than."

"And if he says no?" Baldroy said huffing.

Sebastian turned and pegged him with a look. "The young master shall not say no to me."

Baldroy seemed to shirk a bit as the gaze between the two lengthened. Sebastian scooped up the tea cup and tea and walked out. He would have to try a new method to speed up his and Mey-Rin's 'courtship.' He was tired of putting her into a more and more improper light in Baldroy's eyes.

 _"And what does it matter what he thinks?"_ Mey-Rin had scoffed once when they discussed the situation over dinner last night. _"Eternity is with you, not him. Unless you are holding something about Bard I don't know, he is human. He will die."_

He let his demonic mind ponder over the last words. Yes, he would die. Sebastian just had to make damn sure it was not because his hands wrapped around the cooks neck and took him to hell himself.


	19. Chapter 19

"How do you not have anger towards him?" Sebastian asked in a whisper as they unloaded the carriage and Mey-Rin carried a basket of food.

She looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "I'm not that angry anymore," she said flatly. "What he did was sweet, even if it was really annoying and unnecessary. His actions can't be faulted; he was caring for me the best he could."

"By guarding your door?"

She rolled her eyes and stepped in front of him briefly. "Darling, he means nothing to me past that he has a great command of weaponry and can find some pretty high powered items I love to play with. But," she leaned towards him, her voice becoming as husky, and bedroom seductive, as it could beneath the weight of her glasses, "I prefer something larger to play with."

His cock practically leapt and tented his pants. He wished to place all his items on the ground, fling her into his arms, race into the river's waves, and fuck her hard and fast.

"My love," he growled. "Please leave the teasing to the bed."

"Shit," she whispered back, licking her lips. He smelled her desire and took a deep breath, regretting it and pulled away from her. If he did not bed her soon…

"Are you two lost with the food?"

He looked up and saw Ciel standing at the edge of the grassy opening, too far for him to see the pair, even so Sebastian noted with interest he was craning his neck to see what they were doing so close to one another.

"No, my lord. We were switching baskets," he shouted back. And he placed a smaller package on Mey-Rin's already full basket and smiled wickedly as she huffed at the extra weight. "Your punishment."

"Fine," she sighed and moved on the path, slowly so she would not trip and fling the baskets on the ground.

The afternoon sun was warm on their backs and faces and the staff enjoyed the light conversation and a round of catch as Sebastian stayed by his masters' side. Refilling the cup, he handed it to the Earl, who was watching them chase a rabbit into the trees lining the river.

"Things seem to have settled down," he observed, giving Sebastian a knowing look. They had not discussed the matter of Sebastian running and leaving his side for a week, nor did they discuss the emotions that had made him do so. "Two months and a bit of tension, but you three seem to be better."

"Yes, my lord. It appears to be better."

" _Appears?_ Are you telling me it isn't? Sebastian, I will order you," he said, testily.

"No need for that, young master. It is… complicated. I have been courting Mey-Rin for a month and last evening was our first time out of the manor. It seems that it has resurfaced some feelings from Baldroy."

"They have gone to the field and blown things up - they have spent time together just fine. You walk in and suddenly there is ruffled feathers," he said, raising an eyebrow and glancing back at the staff. "Perhaps you need to step aside and let them court."

Sebastian tensed. "No, my lord, I will not allow that."

Ciel's face became hard as he looked at the butler. "Not allow? Is Mey-Rin yours?"

Sebastian felt the burning in both his heart and his hand. He could not deny or lie. "Yes, she is."

The boy placed the cup on the saucer and moved it away. He got up and walked slowly, a curious rage building in his small frame. "Sebastian, what have you done?"

The demon looked down at the boy and in a flash saw the terrified eyes of the child who summoned him, still lurking inside. Looking deeper into the pure blue orb, he saw his meal, so perfect and so pure. He could reach out and take it. Take it before it's time. Break his vow, not say a word to harm his beloved. His human. His human he wished to make part demon. His human he wanted a child with.

"I have begun the process to change her, claim her as my mate."

Ciel's face fell and his jaw went slack, staring at each other. "How? Have you made a contract with her?"

"No, my lord, I can not hold two contracts, not as hungry as I am," he added, a wicked smile creeping up. "She will carry my child and that is how she will transition."

The small child who cried for him in the night after he had been rescued came screaming out of Ciel's mouth and the tiny fists pounded into his chest. Sebastian stood still and looked down at his master, so frail, so naked and raw with emotions.

"How could you! How could you do that to me! I hate you! I hate you! You promised I would be the only one you would take into eternity! Me! Forever! I... I need you to be with _me_ forever!"

And he turned and fled, Sebastian watching passively as the teenage master's spindly legs carried him into the woods, down river. A different scent made it to his brain and he flushed.

The young master had feelings for him that went beyond the boundaries of acceptable limits.

 **Sorry/not sorry for the slight nod to the yaoi pairing so popular in Black Butler. Honestly, if things were a different dynamic between Sebastian and Ciel, I could see a potential, but so many factors are against them (to me): like age. Status differences. I see Ciel's admiration as a child worshiping his savior, but not knowing how to express it, so he thinks it is love - like seeing Sebastian as his father - protecting and guiding him. And then chowing down on his soul. *nom nom nom***

 **Bonus! You get the next chapter today too! It's like sunshine AND unicorns. Or feels and FEELS!**


	20. Chapter 20

"Young master!"

"No, go away!"

"Please, you are being childish," Sebastian stated. He looked up at the young man his master had become, but only saw the small child sitting in the crux of the tree branches. "You will be hurt if you try to come down on your own."

"Do not touch me! Run to your maid. Have fun with her. She is obviously what you want."

"Honestly," he huffed and was distracted by a sound behind him. As he searched he saw Mey-Rin pick her way through the weeds and the thicker trees. Her glasses were shoved into her hair.

"I sent Bard and Finny away, master," she said, looking up into the tree.

"Shit - I said go away! Why can't I get staff that listens to what I damn say!"

"Language!"

"Fuck you Sebastian!"

Sebastian stilled and growled, ready to snap the tree in half, snatch the brat from the tree, or consume the whole bloody meal on the spot. Mey-Rin's hand on his arm stilled him from doing any and he backed off, looking at Mey-Rin instead.

"Please," he pleaded and sighed.

She smiled and nodded, turning and looking up the tree. She studied it and reached for a low branch and surprised Sebastian and the young master by cinching up her dress and climbing up the tree, stopping below where Ciel perched.

"Young master," she started. "Mister Sebastian told me of your conversation. Of course you did put on a spectacle, so it was a wonder how I got the boys to leave."

Sebastian watched as the teen's cheeks colored in embarrassment. Mey-Rin plunged on. "He has not broken his promise to you - if you wish to remain with him forever, he will honor that. But I too wish to be with him. I am not replacing you, young master, I am adding to the package."

"He loves you?"

Mey-Rin nodded. "And I him."

"You know what he is?" the Earl spat in Sebastian's direction.

"Of course, a demon," she said effortlessly. "And a man with emotions. And a butler who does everything he can to make your life effortless. And a friend when one of us has a problem. And someone who would die for us to protect us, if he must."

Ciel looked at her and Sebastian watched as the pair sat in the tree, dangerously high, and said nothing.

"Are you pregnant?"

Mey-Rin blushed and whispered, "Not yet."

"But you are… trying?"

"Yes, we are."

He looked down at Sebastian and there was still hurt in the gaze. "I asked you to fix the situation between you, Mey-Rin, and Bard, and I guess I pushed you to a point where your emotions really were too much for you to handle." He stilled and sighed. "You have been with me faithfully, Sebastian. I just had always envisioned it would be the two of us."

And he leaned back and fell. Not making a sound, just falling to the ground. Into the stronger than human arms that perhaps the young master had utter faith that would be there to catch him, no matter what he yelled at him. Placing his feet on the ground Sebastian sank to his knees, bowing his head in deep submission. He felt a hand on his head and looked up.

"Till the end."

"Till the very end of eternity if you desire, my lord."

The bright flash of Ciel's right eye cemented them even further.

"Sebastian, this is an order: Get your mate out of the tree."

"Yes, my lord."

And Mey-Rin felt as if she was floating as the strong arms of her lover wrapped around her, in front of their master, openly and plainly smiling at his easy movements.


	21. Chapter 21

"No! No!" an angry voice shouted in the young master's study. Baldroy swung around and pegged Sebastian with a murderous look. His hands balled into fists by his side. "That is the height of inappropriate behaviour! You are the Head Butler, sure, but you are not one of us."

Sebastian looked at the human. _Oh, you have no idea how much I am not one of you_. He looked at the Earl and saw his young master simply standing with his arms crossed. He sighed; once more the boy was looking on and waiting. Looking at the man, Sebastian regarded him again with interest.

"If you had feelings for Mey-Rin, why did you not say anything?"

Baldroy sputtered and huffed, his eyes flaring with rage and uneasiness. "She is a lady, and a proper one! I wasn't going to ask if she did not feel the same. I have standards."

"As do I," Sebastian said smoothly. "And I agree, she is a lady. A lady of the highest caliber, no pun intended."

"Isn't there something about not courting someone lower than you in the staff?" Baldroy said, shifting tactics. He turned around and looked at Ciel. "There has to be something that prevents this."

"We betray our true selves when we do not follow the heart's desire. For what the heart is attracted to, is your destiny," Sebastian said, cutting into the silence that had formed as the young master said nothing. "I have felt Mey-Rin has an attraction to me, and I have ignored it, brushed it off, even rebuked her because of it, but she has not left me. I asked her why once," he continued, quietly, watching the cook's fists uncurl and his eyes loose the rage a little. "She said she knew I was too grand to pay her mind, but that I allowed her to dream. And, slowly, I let myself see her the way she looked at me. Her true self. Not the clumsy maid, not the woman who is easily tricked by others because she willingly limited herself, but a wonderfully funny, cleaver, and amazing sharpshooter whose heart was pure." He took a step towards the cook and sighed. "If I could step aside and let my heart's desire to keep that person - her true self - go, I would. You are right, I am not worthy of her. But," he smiled a bit, his pride crashing in and making him stand a bit straighter, "nether are you."

The cook's fist connected solidly with his jaw and as Sebastian faked being effected by the blow, he saw the raging soldier, the raging protector, and the broken man who stood before him, fighting for his maid's affections.

"You son of a bitch! You are a bastard!" His fist connected again with Sebastian's jaw and he stumbled back a bit. "You say you have standards, yet you manipulate them for your gain! You don't deserve her any more than I! She would be better off alone then have one of us in love with her!"

His fist was stopped mid-air, making Sebastian blink a bit. Mey-Rin had glided into the room and had caught the ex-soldier's hard punch with her small hand, reaching a bit above her head to do so.

"Back. Off," she growled. She punctuated the two words firmly and with enough emphasis that the cook stumbled back now and stared back at her. Her glasses were in her hair and she was boiling with rage. "I can make my own mind - thank you very much. I can fall in love and pine for who I wish - rank be damned. If you had not treated me like a porcelain doll and a clumsy woman who needed to be wrapped in cotton when I left the kitchen since the day you arrived, this may have happened differently. Mister Sebastian never thought I had to be treated differently because I was a woman. He treated me with the respect an ex-assassin deserved. We even had long conversations about our past, and I thought, Bard, we had grown past the prejudices of both our former lives." She shook her head. "But you always had to be the protector - when I didn't need one."

Baldroy, Ciel, and Sebastian all stood, staring at the angry woman. Sebastian's heart flowed with love and pride - his beloved was fully blooming and taking the cook to the per-verbal knee and scolding him. He longed to take his lover and bask in her strength.

"So you chose a man who didn't even acknowledge your limitations and kept pushing and punishing you when you failed?" Baldroy finally hissed, pinning his eyes back on Sebastian.

"Oh he and the young master knew. We each are here for a reason - each of us picked from the depths of despair and handed a new life. I willingly took my limitations, for they were given to me by the young master, to help me forget what I was capable of, of my old life - the one that almost killed me."

"Each of you are here because I need your skills," Ciel finally said, speaking. He looked at each and took a deep breath. "Sebastian is here to protect, guide, and execute my wishes. Finny is here to learn to enjoy life and value kindness over darkness and pain. Mey-Rin's expert marksmanship lead her to some dark places, and Sebastian was fortunate enough to rescue her in time. She is the one whose strength and sight keeps us safe many times so you don't have to. And you, Bard," he said finally rounding to look at the inept cook, "you are here because I needed someone who could keep Finny in line, and you are an expert in war planning, can see the enemy and strategical. You hold the staff in formation as they defend the manor, and protect me. You are as important to this family as Sebastian, Finny, or Mey-Rin."

Baldroy huffed and turned away. "Still doesn't make their courting okay. If you say we are a family then they should not be together."

"It has been a struggle to come to terms of our emotions for one another," Sebastian acknowledged. He looked down at Mey-Rin and smiled softly. "For me at least. Mey-Rin has always known how to get what she wanted."

"I ain't going to stop this, am I?" Baldroy finally said, looking at the young master.

Ciel shook his head and turned his eyes toward the cook, shrugging. "Short of ordering Sebastian to let his emotions go, neither one of us will be able to stop it." He gave a shallow laugh and glanced at Sebastian and Mey-Rin. "And I have a feeling that the order will be disobeyed and I would be of no use to anyone anymore."

The cryptic message made Sebastian bow his head a bit; the young master was correct. His feelings for Mey-Rin would make him seriously think how to consume his young master, even if not as wonderfully perfected. But Sebastian smiled back, letting him know that indeed he would allow the bond he had with Ciel to be broken should the young boy make a wrong move.


	22. Chapter 22

Now that the staff knew about the feelings Sebastian and Mey-Rin had for one another, it made some things a bit easier. Sebastian presented Mey-Rin a ring, making her cry for two days, and Finnian clap his hands when he saw the pair together. The young master had insisted they hurry and make things official and Sebastian readily agreed. He wanted her honor as a lady to not be stained, despite they were still trying to have a child together in their private moments. Sebastian glided up the stairs and listened as the heartbeat of his beloved grew stronger.

"My love," he whispered, as he wrapped his arms around her. He kissed her neck and moved up, capturing her lips. "Mmm, you smell and taste amazing." He turned her and wrapped her in his arms, her hands clenching his coat and pulling them tighter together. He and the young master had gone to London for a week to investigate something for the Queen.

"I have missed your lips on mine," she muttered as she pulled away. Her eyes flashed and she smiled coyly. She pulled away and backed into the bed, slowly pulling him forward by his coat labels. "And your body on mine."

She laid down and Sebastian moved on to the bed, straddling her hips. He looked down and licked his lips, his red eyes drinking in her dark night gown. He watched as her breasts, free from a corset moved against the fabric and just peaked out of the lacy top hem. His lover bit her lip and moaned. Smiling he undid his coat and dropped it beside the bed.

"Mey-Rin, my darling," he breathed. "How does being married to me in a week sound?"

Her eyes danced, new tears clinging to her eyelashes. "In a week? Oh, so fast! I haven't even decided on which dress I saw last time we were in London!"

He smiled and leaned down, his hands on either side of her face. "I know. So I brought back both."

"My love - they cost a fortune for both!"

He stroked her cheek and smiled wider. "I plan on marrying you only once in this lifetime."

She moved so his burning fingers brushed her cheeks again. "And we have many lifetimes to do it again," she sighed.

"Eternity is indeed a long time."

She smiled and leaned up. "I can't wait to start."

He brushed his love's lips and breathed into her as they deepened the kiss. He couldn't imagine not having her with him and the young master till the end of time. The parted and her eyes were on fire with desire. He smiled slowly.

"Ah the best way to make sure you are eternal, hmm?" he looked down at her and down her bodice now. "Are you sure your body can handle what I have been dying to give it for a week?"

"I may be a bit out of practice," she replied, her tone changing into the sexy minx and toying bed mate she had embraced the past month after they voiced their feelings to everyone in the Phantomhive manor. Still only Ciel knew that they were sleeping together, and he didn't even address the fact as long as the pair continued to do their jobs protecting him and being as efficient as always.

"I'll make your body remember," he growled into her ear. "How attached are you to this gown?"

"I had hoped to wear it for my lover," she sighed. She slid her hands up his shirt. Flicker her eyes up to meet his, she said, "How attached are you to this shirt?"

They were treated to another fabric shower as they both ripped the pieces off as best as the could, finally finding the pants hard to rip, yet easily undone. Sebastian wrapped her in his arms and flipped so she was on top, her breasts shaking as he helped her move, sinking down his cock, so ready for her sex, her hands on his chest, clawing at his hard abs, her sex so ready for his cock.

He thrust deep into her and covered her mouth in time as the yell of pleasure came bubbling up and out, sounding only like a yelp. He chuckled as he held his hand on her mouth and moved his other one up her side, playing with her hardening nipples. He bucked steadily into her body and felt her first orgasm. He sat up and pulled her down by her hips as he bounced up as best as he could in the confined area of their union. He wrapped her legs around his waist and stood, his cock not angling deeper and new, walking her to the wall and placing her back against it. A change and freedom for him to freely slice in and out, quickly, slowly, thursts, pounds, and capturing her moans with his mouth. This, he relished as his lover came a second time, flooding his cock with the liquid it needed to let him buck even faster, was what he would enjoy forever. Literally. He looked down into her eyes and he kissed her.

"When was your monthly?"

"Last week!" she gasped as he placed her on the bed, kneeling on it himself and let the bed shift in time to their love making.

"Ah, a fertile womb," he whispered, leaning over her and smiling. "May I beg you to occupy it?"

"Ah, fuck me! Give me your child! Please, let me change," she panted as she rode another orgasm.

His cock swelled and dumped his load into her, knowing as he did so and held her gaze, bucking deep, that she was silently praying the same thing - let this time be the time they got pregnant. They had given themselves a year to try the easier, less painful way to convert her from a frail, mortal, human to a strong, eternal, half-demon, and had a little over eight months left on their self-imposed calendar. Sebastian could convince her to extend the time, knowing how painful it would be on both of them to have her bled, sexed roughly, scrapped out of her human desires, and fed the eternal flames of hell back into her blood, making her for sure infertile. If she got pregnant and converted, she would retain part of her humanity, allowing them the opportunity to become pregnant again. He held her; if it was this hard to get her to have a child with him as a full human, it would be miracles upon miracles to get her pregnant after this baby. But, as he stiffened again in her sex, he would try. She would be a wonderful mother. She would be a wonderful wife. She would be a wonderful half-demon.

"Sebastian!"

"Mey-Rin," he sighed, once more taking his lover into his arms and nipping at her neck. "Oh my beautiful Mey-Rin. No matter what, if we get pregnant this time or not, you will be legally my wife in a week."

He felt tears as they made love, a little less rough, a little more touching and roaming hands now that the initial need to fuck and have her body on his, subsided. They kissed and he stroked her body up to the fiery heat of hell once more. He only slipped out after feeding her his seed, letting her cool and ride the last of the passionate orgasms, and let her take him in her mouth and into her body again as the sun slowly rose and he could hear the other staff members rise for the day. He stayed firmly in his lover, demanding silently that her body take his seed, her womb would allow it to find its prize and start a tiny life, changing their lives.

"I love you," she whispered as she stood, a night of mind-blowing passion showing in light bruises and her reddened, used, sex shining proudly on her body.

He rubbed her hips and sides, frowning a bit. He hated when he left marks. He kissed her and bit her lip a bit, drawing blood. He pulled back and bit his own and kissed her again, mixing their blood.

Demon blood had certain properties that made humans react differently, and when given in small doses - a single drop was enough - their mortal bodies became temporarily immortal, wiping any bruises and infirmaries out of their system. Sebastian had practically begged on his knees to do so when she was hurt. She had firmly denied his pleas, saying she was scared of what it would do to her. They had not promised each other anything other than the passion of each others emotions and feelings. She was scared he would pull away, and being the lover of her wishes, Sebastian, painfully, had obeyed her almost order not to heal her with his blood.

Once they had made their desires for a lasting, eternal, life with one another, he had ventured again to ask to use his blood to lessen the glorious after effects of their passion. She had insisted she had made it five months as a "frail" woman who took a demon willingly into her body and dealt with the bruises before, and could do the same now she knew. Until he had fucked her too hard and heard her hip break as he pushed her into the bed while chained. She had gladly taken the two drops he fed her, her body knitting back the bone in only a few minutes.

"Ah, as good as new," he whispered, watching as her eyes glassed for a moment and she blinked, the look fading as quick as her bruises. "I love you so."


	23. Chapter 23

Their wasn't a dry eye in the small church as Sebastian and Mey-Rin tied their lives together on the human plane. The couple recited their vows - better or for worse, sickness and in health, till death due them part - with the secret gleam in their eyes that as soon as she was pregnant, none of that would ever apply to them and they would be both healthy, strong, and forever.

Finnian had to be pried off Mey-Rin and then Sebastian as he sobbed his happy tears. Sebastian smiled at the teenager, not much older than the young master, who was standing beside a weeping Elizabeth, clinging to his arm. The two met each others eyes and Ciel smiled, a real, true smile, to which Sebastian nodded his head. His young master had already promised his eternal soul to the demon, and would be beside him as well, like a son. Now, Sebastian mused, as he felt Mey-Rin wrap her arms around him, he would have a family - son and wife. _And my own child_ , he prayed.

The carriage ride back to the manor was full of happy voices and happy chatting as the staff of five, the young master, and his fiancee, crammed into the carriage meant for four people. Mey-Rin had scooted to sit on Sebastian's lap and leaned into him as he held her firmly. The earthly bond was paper, was for the government of the moment, and they still eagerly waited to be bonded in the flames of hell, eternally. He knew his beloved was frustrated again as they had prepared for the wedding, making love at different times of the day, in case that made a difference. He had soothed her worries when he had noted that even he would not know if she was pregnant until her next monthly did not come.

"You smell everything else," she had said, replacing her bodice after they had made yearningly slow love in the cottage two days before their wedding. They had asked the young master if they could live outside the manor, and he had quickly granted the pair permission, eying Sebastian as he added, "Not everyone needs to know you are already together."

"I have a keen sense of smell, yes, but human bodies are still a mask of mystery at times."

And she had fallen silent, not asking again, but had leaned in and kissed him as he ran them back to the manor.

But now, cramped and riding a different kind of high, the pair gazed into each others eyes, not minding that Elizabeth kept cooing and small sighs as she turned toward her own future husband. Finnian was babbling to Baldroy who kept his face straight on the road in front of them. Sebastian sensed that the mood would quickly turn if he did not detach from his bride and reluctantly let his eyes wonder from her brown ones to the cooks cold blue ones. _So he has not really gotten over it,_ Sebastian sighed as he met the steady gaze. He would not breech the mood and address the issue - not now, not here - but he would. And by the way Baldroy pulled his eyes away, he would have to approach with extreme caution.

"My love?" Mey-Rin said under her breath so the others would not hear. "Is everything alright?"

He slid his eyes towards her and gave a smile, kissing her cheek. "It will be," he whispered back.

She nodded and placed her head on his shoulder, watching the trees and the open gate of the Phantomhive manor slip by them. She turned and watched as the manor came into view and Sebastian smiled as her eyes watered a bit. They would be spending their first night as a couple in the cottage he had built next to the one he had made as his escape and cat sanctuary, connecting the two to provide room for their family he knew was coming. Mey-Rin had not seen the new addition he had worked the few spare moments he had the past week. He understood the tears; their lives had been at the manor for a lot longer than they had imagined.

Baldroy hopped out and he offered his hand to Mey-Rin, waiting as she gathered her layered dress and stepped carefully down. "I'll catch you if you slip," he said, casting an eye down to make sure her foot was on the step before he looked at Sebastian.

Sebastian did not say a word.

"Bard, you are sweet," Mey-Rin said, placing both feet on the ground and trying to release her hand from his. "Please," she whispered, tugging. "Bard."

He let her go and marched into the manor, past Tanaka, who had arrived back from a voyage to Japan which had lasted six months, only the day before. Ciel stepped out next, offering his assistance to Elizabeth who would be staying at the manor for a few days as her parents and brother went north to tend to the hunting lodge that they would stay in during the upcoming winter. Next, Finnian and Sebastian stepped down. The four looked at each other and Elizabeth flung herself at May-Rin again.

"You look so beautiful and so happy. You are so lucky to have Mister Sebastian as your husband! He is so handsome too!" She looked over at Ciel and blushed. "But you my Ciel, you are the most handsome."

"Thanks," he muttered as he was squeezed by his betrothed. "Elizabeth, I need to breathe."

She stepped back and blushed again. "Sorry."

"My lord, is there anything else I need to put into place before I leave for my honeymoon?"

Ciel looked at him and Sebastian sighed again. _Dear me, has anyone moved past their emotions? Is this how we are to live? Watching people pine for those who are unattainable?_ He glanced at his bride and back at his young master.

"No, Sebastian. I can manage, for a little while, without you."

The demon smiled and bowed his head, placing his hand over his chest. "Very good, my lord. I bid you a good afternoon; we must be off."

Sebastian wrapped his arm around his bride and walked toward the end of the manor, a good walk away, before grabbing her, lifting her in his arms, and planting a kiss on her lips. "My wife, Mrs. Michaelis."

"Mmm, my husband, Mr. Michaelis."

"I have a surprise for you."

"I do like your surprises."

"Good, because I will have a lot of time to try to do so."

"You are creative, I'm sure you will be able to keep me guessing."

"I want that dress off you."

"Oh dear, you are not starting off well. I am not surprised by that at all," Mey-Rin giggled, caressing his cheek. "Nor are you surprised that I want that suit off as well."

"No, I am not," he said, walking slowly toward the long hedge that separated the manicured lawn from the perfectly planted trees, and the secret path to the cottage on the back part of the property. "Surprise - that's not my surprise."

She grabbed his face and pulled it down to hers, kissing him gently. "Get me to our home. I want to make love to you."

He sped up to a run and was soon rounding the corner through the woods to show her his newly improved living quarters. Her squeal of joy and gasp of wonder warmed him and he placed her on the path that lead to the porch surrounding the home.

"My darling," he said, letting her take a few steps. "Welcome home," he breathed, kissing her bare shoulder and gliding his lips over her neck. "Shall we go inside?"

She shuttered delicately and leaned into him. His arms wrapped around her, settling on her stomach, which could be occupied. "Please," she whispered, her need dripping into her voice.

He once more swung her effortlessly into his arms and crossed the threshold of their home, indulging in some of the human customs of newly wed couples. But as he walked up the winding stairs to the second story and walked to their large bedroom in the original cottage, he smirked. They were anything but newly weds. They were anything but traditional. He had melted into her room, driven by his emotions to slate his desires she had aroused from deep down inside he was never sure where they came from, and had taken her sex into his mouth, ready to be satisfied and be done with the human. But she had a way of getting him back into her presence, demanding he not leave her alone, answer her emotions with his, and ended up taking her body the same week. And for the past nine months he had driven his cock into her willing body, four of those actively trying to get her pregnant.

"My sweet Mey-Rin," he whispered, lighting all the lamps and candles in the room with a flick of his wrist. "We have eight months before our year is up and we explore other options, so please, my lover, be patient. I told you it could take longer because our bodies were not meant to be compatible easily. But," he stroked her hair and kissed her lightly, pushing her into the mattress with his body, "it can - and will - happen."

"I'm sorry all I seem to talk about is getting pregnant," she said suddenly rolling away under him and clenched her stomach. "I just want you so badly to be happy."

He grabbed her right shoulder and pushed her back to face him. "My dear, you made me happy when you asked me to stay in your room that first night. And when you boldly took my cock the next day. And willingly asked me to make love to you in the hall and submitted to my lessons." He sat up and looked down at his still clothed bride. "My emotions were turned on because of you. I had mindlessly soaked up humanity, but not indulged beyond satisfying my own pleasures. You demanded I also answer my needs, beyond the demonic, purely sexual ones. You demanded I open up and talk. You held me captive by laying on me and staring into my eyes as we discussed how we felt. For the first time I felt - feel - raw and emotional. My sweet assassin, you made me do that. You made me love a human more than I could ever dream I could even love."

She cut him off with a deep kiss and reached up and undid his shirt. "Make love to your wife," she said, huskily.

"Yes, my lady," he responded, his eyes flashing. And in a single flick of his wrist, he plunged he and his lover back into the darkness that had began their journey.

He smiled and slid his fingers deeper into her folds. Drawing out the wetness and flicked his tongue back over her sex.

"OH GODS!"

"Scream my name," he said, losing himself as he plunged in and began the process of drawing out the first of many honeymoon blissful orgasms.

"SE…SE… SEBASTIAN!"


	24. Chapter 24

The couple walked hand in hand into the kitchen, Sebastian carrying a suitcase of clothes, sexual torture items, and Mey-Rin's wedding dress. Finnian was in the hall, turning into the kitchen when they came in and the boy looked excited to see them.

"Oh you are back! How was your vacation?"

"Very nice," Mey-Rin said, adjusting her glasses back to their normal position. "Very nice indeed."

"I hope our absence as not made more work for you," Sebastian said, giving a small look around. He did not see any unnecessary items, or dirt laying around.

"Oh no, not at all," Baldroy said, now walking in. "The young master _loved_ having me wake him at 7:05 every morning for the past week. Right pleasant he is. And delighted when I tried to lay out clothing as well."

 _Oh dear,_ Sebastian thought. He sighed and kissed his wife's red head and headed swiftly to their now openly shared room they used when they stayed in the manor, stored the suitcase, and swiftly walked into the study.

"My lord," he said, announcing his return.

"Oh thank god," the young master said, leaping out of his chair and rounding the desk. "Bard is a fucking loon."

"Oh?"

"He comes barging in and makes a right loud wracked at 6:30 the first morning," he said, shaking his head. "And then the second morning at 7:05."

"That is our normal time to wake, my lord," Sebastian said, hiding a smirk. He knew Ciel hated that time as much as any other time.

"Yes, but you bring me tea and a snack. Something sweet or at least passable for food if you are trying to stave me and give me healthy food. Bard, ha! He may have the title 'cook' but he burned the tea even. How does one even do that?!"

Sebastian smiled at this and nodded slowly. "I do see the problem. Was there any other things?"

Ciel regarded him and the question. "Well, I think you may have successfully gotten the woman of your dreams," he said with a hint of disappointment, "but Bard is still not quite cured."

"Ah, I had hoped a week away," Sebastian said, shaking his head and looking down at the carpet. "Yes, well, I shall address his feelings once more."

Sebastian was stilled by the young master's touch on his arm. "Please let him down gently. I… I know I came off improper for expressing my own feelings toward you. You, well, you have been there through everything. _Everything_."

Sebastian dropped to one knee. "Till the end, young master."

Sebastian set out to find his wife or Baldroy, and found them both, in the washroom where he himself had stood, not nine months before, his conflicted emotions making him run from the alien emotions she had aroused. Mey-Rin had her maid uniform on, Baldroy his apron and cigarette, normal, except their tone. Their words were low and harsh. He stood outside and listened, not caring it was improper. His wife being cornered by the man who still loved her was even more improper than he listening to a obvious private conversation.

"There is nothing I will not do to show you how wrong you are," he was saying. "Mister Sebastian is not right for you."

"I am sick of you saying that! You are not right for me either!"

"I am more on your level then him."

"Oh, because you love guns as much as I do?"

"Well," Baldroy said, amusement in his voice. "It's a common interest. What does he do with you?"

Sebastian saw the blush and smiled through the cracked door, knowing she was replaying all the things they did - and did again that very morning, as they walked to the manor even.

"He respects me for what I can do - for who I really am."

"I respect the hell out of you."

He heard the hard slap and stilled himself to not open the door and watch Mey-Rin undoubtedly standing staring at him in a rage. "You have a funny way of showing it. I am _married_ and you insist I should come up to your bed. Improper! If you want me so bad, you should have made a move nine months ago!"

"Nine? Why then?"

Sebastian stilled, _oh dear_ , he silently begged her not to say any more. He pushed the door open, as if he was looking for them and smiled as Baldroy saw him in the door.

"Ah my two favorite people - I need the chicken cooked, Baldroy. And Mey-Rin, the master's bedroom fireplace needs cleaning."

She turned and gave Baldroy a sharp glare with her tinted glasses. She turned and stumbled a bit, Sebastian and Baldroy catching her on their sides of her body. She grunted and ripped herself from both their concerned grips.

She stomped down the corridor and Sebastian heard her go up the stairs, up to the young master's bedroom which indeed needed to be cleaned. Sebastian focused and looked at Baldroy. The man was practically chewing on his cigarette now.

"Baldroy, we need to stop this," Sebastian said, sighing. "I thought we had discussed this before."

"You did. I had to accept it. Like I accept the fact that if I leave, the young master would be in his right to turn me into the government and put me back as a war criminal. As I have to accept I have done some pretty awful things in the name of war. As I - _apparently_ \- have to accept the woman who seems as excited about guns and blowing things up, is married to a butler whose only desire is to bed her."

Sebastian stilled. "Oh, you think I only ignored her falling over me, her looks of desire when she thought I wasn't paying attention, the sighs of being lost in a fantasy when I walked into the room were all tolerated so I could bed her?" He gave a shallow laugh, his demonic side rising quickly. "And I went though the torture for five years so far so I could bed her _now_?"

Baldroy looked at him and shook his head, suddenly very calm. "You are patient, Mister Sebastian," he finally said. "I admit I haven't noticed her falling all over me."

Sebastian bit his tongue, _no, she didn't even notice you - she was too busy fantasizing over me. And then being happily bedded by me_. "Consider yourself lucky. She can get pretty worked up and crash into you pretty hard."

Baldroy grunted and turned. He paused and looked at Sebastian. "I still have feelings for her."

"As you should; she is a valuable member of the Phantomhive staff, as you are. I don't have hard feelings toward you - as long as you leave my wife alone."

He relished the fear that was in the man's eyes. He left the cook to sort his own feelings and swiftly ran to his master's room and to his lover, hoping she would let him delight on her body some more.

 **I have to admit I laughed really, really hard at the first line: "Sebastian carrying a suitcase of clothes, sexual torture items, and Mey-Rin's wedding dress." Why, yes, I did just fangirl over myself. Move on... and thanks to the kind words of comments - I hope you are checking your notices! ;) Til the next chapter...  
**


	25. Chapter 25

Mey-Rin melted into his arms and the passionate kiss. Her face was not covered in tears, and Sebastian was relived, but there was the barest of tear stain tracks on the round cheeks. He brushed them and kissed her again.

"That man is insufferable!" she huffed, turning back toward the half-cleaned fireplace. He eyed it and wondered why it was so dirty; it was mid-June. "Bard just doesn't know the limits! I slapped him for good measure."

Sebastian smiled. "I know. I am proud of that."

She smiled and eyed him. "I learned how to give a little torture from this strikingly handsome demon man."

"Oh?"

"Want me to show you?"

"Oh, gods," he breathed as he collected her into his arms. He backed her into the bed and she sat down on the high mattress. "Please, my love."

Mey-Rin undid his pants quickly and efficiently, and with all the needs of a newly married woman, she deeply took his cock into her mouth. She traced his name on his cock and he came, holding her head as he bucked and fed the precious cum. Her eyes shone as she pulled back and smiled, licking her lips and plunged back down his cock, doing it again. Again he came. He looked down as she closed her eyes, milking his cock. He lost his form, just as he had the last time they were in the young masters chambers and she had taken his cock in her mouth, repaying him for the delight he had given her the first night of their new relationship. He howled, slamming into her.

Sebastian pulled back and smiled down at his smiling maid. His lover was stroking his wet cock and had her other hand beneath her skirts, drawing her own pleasure out. He smelled her desire. He smelled her need. He smelled his young master's lingering scent as he bent down and kissed his wife.

"Fuck," he breathed and stood up and backed out of her grip. She smiled wickedly. "You know how much the young master loves me - and in just as unattainable ways as Baldroy desires you."

"And so Bard is going to learn to deal with me and you being married." She smiled and stood up, smoothing her dress and looking back at him. "Actually I had wanted to do some light flogging again, but this was easier to do and we didn't have to move to our room."

Sebastian picked up his lover and flashed them up to their room. He smoothly placed her on the bed and opened the suitcase, taking out their newest toy they had tried only a few days before to the delight of both. He snapped it on the floor and they met each others eyes as the sound reverberated off the wooden walls.

Mey-Rin stood and undid her apron, undoing her uniform and letting it pool around her as she stepped out of it. She took the flogger and brushed it up his chest.

"Take off your clothes, or I will rip them off."

Sebastian was naked in a second and felt the leather tentacles of the tool drag over his legs and cock. He almost came as she flicked them over his hardened member.

"Bed."

He followed his mistress' commands, knowing that his desire was to make her happy in anything they did. Even if she was pregnant, they would delight in the fleshly desires and fuck all night. He sighed as the flogger came down hard on his chest.

"I should have asked you to wipe Bards' memories," she whispered, watching his chest rise and fall, his blood blossom under his flesh, the small welts forming. "Surely you could do that."

"For you, mistress, I would do my best."

"Ah, yes, well perhaps I shall still ask. And how about the young master? Is he still pining for your tender touch to come?"

Sebastian licked his lips as the flogger hit his thighs. He never saw his young master, a child, in a way that was inappropriate. He understood how Ciel could have formed the feelings for him - the demon he had formed a contract with and protected him until the very end. Even past the time Ciel's revenge was finalized. But he would never indulge these feelings - not like he had finally done for Mey-Rin. Her feelings were built on lust, fantasy, desire. Things he fed off of even as he starved for a soul. Things he craved in a body, and a soul. He had both - in separate bodies. Ciel was a child who worshiped him for what he did; Mey-Rin was a lady who worshiped him for what he could do - to her.

"He is, my mistress, but his affections also grow stronger toward Lady Elizabeth."

"Ah, yes, forgot about her," Mey-Rin said, lightly slapping her hands with the tool. "They will be married next spring, after his sixteenth birthday, yes?"

He wasn't quick enough with the answer - well, actually, he didn't want to be. The tentacles hit his chest and shoulders. He looked at her corseted breasts and licked his lips. He had indeed taught her well as she laid a hand on his cock and raised the flogger, cracking down on his other shoulder. He would have no bruises once she was done. She had refused his blood after their session and he could see the dark black and blue spots still on the tops of her breasts and thighs.

"I asked you a question."

"Yes, mistress. They will be married next year." He sighed and felt the hand of his lover stroke his hot cock. "Please…"

He closed his eyes and begged. Oh god, he begged even as her hotter sex, dripping and open, sank his cock into her. He begged as he bucked, begged as he felt her collapse on his chest, begged as he felt her body give back in and climax.

He begged as if it was a prayer.

"Please let me give you our child."


	26. Chapter 26

Another month passed. Sebastian caught Mey-Rin looking at herself in the mirror. He stilled. He smelled the air. Nothing by the deep vanilla which was her ever-present smell. He opened the bathroom door and met her eyes in the mirror.

"You are past your start date," he whispered. He calculated. "A week and half."

She nodded.

He didn't want to hurt her as he took her into his arms and hugged her. Were they finally pregnant? Would the conversion start soon and they would not have to seek out the beasts who would do it cruelly and viciously? Could it have happened, five months into them actively trying? He pressed his lips to her head and she wrapped her arms around him.

"Don't celebrate yet," she said, pulling back. "I could just be late. I'm under stress."

He stroked her cheek and saw the resigned hope that was in her eyes. "Even if it comes in a day or so, this is a glimmer of what we will feel when we know for sure it is you pregnant."

He kissed her and she sighed. _It is a perfect day_ , he thought as he flipped the pancakes he had decided to make for the whole staff when they got to the manor. _I could be a father!_

His elation was not overlooked as he brought the breakfast to his young masters' bedroom.

"Pancakes? Are you tricking me into liking you at this hour?" he muttered as he sat up. He rubbed his eyes and took the offered cup. "China Rose? Are you buttering me up for something horrible? What did Finny do? Is the kitchen on fire? Is Mey-Rin pregnant?"

Sebastian stilled and looked down at his master. Ciel took a sip of his tea and looked up, noticing the demon not moving. "Oh, shit," he cursed.

"It's not for sure. It could be just an error," Sebastian said quietly. From how Ciel looked at him, Sebastian was sure there was delight dancing in his eyes that he was getting his hopes up for a good reason.

"If it is meant to be," the teenager said, suddenly quiet. He shook his head and turned to look at his butler. "No, I should be happy. I am happy. You have found someone who makes you almost human. And I should be glad for that. I have seen you everyday, almost every waking hour, for five years, and there has been a sorrow, a waiting, in your eyes. I know you wish to eat my soul and be done with me - I can be a bit demanding - but when you and Mey-Rin began to grow your feelings toward each other," he paused and shrugged his shoulders a bit. "I should be thankful and wish I could be as every bit as in love as you two are."

Sebastian took the cup from his young master and smiled. "Thank you, my lord. You and Lady Elizabeth will find happiness together and you will learn to love her as deeply as you do me."

The deep red blush and sudden anger in Ciel's blue eyes made it clear that his words cut deep, as he had intended. Sebastian could not love the boy as he loved Mey-Rin; their positions were too vastly different as were their beginnings of their relationship. He was a master and slave, of Earl Ciel Phantomhive. He was merely a slave to Mey-Rin's feelings, and his own self-realized ones.

"Do. Not. Speak. Of. That."

"Yes, my lord," Sebastian said smoothly and with the liquid velvet tone he used as a humble apology. "May I redirect your attention to the day's agenda?"

"No, I wish to eat my pancakes."

He sighed. "Yes, my lord."

Mey-Rin was back in the wash room, her back to him as he slipped in and surveyed the pile of dirty laundry. He saw the sheets from their bed.

"My dear?"

She turned and broke down in wailing tears. He saw the sheets she had been furiously cleaning; the unmistakable menstrual blood came into his nose.

"My lover," he sighed as he gathered her into his unearthly arms. He felt her weight, firm and deep on his chest and how she clenched at the back of his tail coats. He ran his hands in tight circles on her lower back, knowing that her pain, both physical and emotional were tightening the muscles there. He had spent many nights with her on her menstruation curled up in pain, kissing her and cradling her as she cried about her defective body.

"I was so sure! I was so positive it was this time!"

"I know," he whispered. So had he. He closed his eyes and felt the prickle of tears form. He pulled his emotions back; he had to be strong. Oh how many times had he thought the same thing, only to be driven insane by his feelings of loneliness and isolation? He was a demon, demons were strong - only the weak were emotional and swayed into the arms of humans. He pulled his lover deeper into his arms. He would take the weakness if it meant he had this woman in his eternity. He lifted his eyes and gave a small smile.

And that bratty young Earl. He loved him too.

He let the tears fall into the hair of his beloved.

"Let us not wait - I can't wait! I need to be with you. I need to be with you for eternity!"

He pulled back and looked down; his maid was weeping silently now, hard lines and determined eyes shining into his. He choked back a moan; the look he saw was the one she had when there was predator in her sights and was about to be shot. It had been him who had been shot down and dragged into her life, eaten alive and made to be stuffed full of emotions he had denied so many lifetimes.

He stroked his thumbs over her face and slowly shook his head. "No, my sweet Mey-Rin. No, we will not go to that lengths. Not yet. My sweet woman, not yet. Please. Please we have seven months and then -"

"I can't do this waiting game! Seven months! The young master will be almost prepared for his wedding to Lady Elizabeth - the last thing they need is us disappearing to Hell and coming back perhaps in time." She pushed away and shook her head firmly. "No, this time, this time we do it. I don't care about the pain."

"But my love," Sebastian said, stroking her hard face and softening his, "the pain will be unbearable - for me."

"And this isn't!" she roared into his pleading face. He winced as if he was slapped. "I am the one who will be carrying the child my body can't seem to produce! I am the one who will be in pain for nine months until I drop our baby - and who knows how I will be changing along with growing a baby! Perhaps the torture you talk about that is my conversion at the hands of a demon is better. Sounds quicker and easier at this point!"

"You really wish to be cut apart and raped?" he pushed his face into hers and hissed at her. He hardened his own face and tone. "You want another demon's cock in your broken body, drawing every once of feeling and passion, desire and longing, out? You want another demon to possess you and give you nothing but liquid heat for the end of eternity, not being able to bare my child? You want to risk not feeling for me when I look at you? You'd make me suffer as you turned away and took another lover, breaking our earthly bond for sure and forming your own contracts with humans and demons?"

She crumbled a bit. "That would never happen. I love you too much," she whispered.

"Aw, fuck, Mey-Rin," he responded, frustrated. "It would be that way later, if not sooner, if we let the demons have you. Please, let us try for the remaining seven months. Let me convert you to a half-demon, let my seed and my baby melt a bit of your humanity. I want that claim on your body, and soul, as mine. Wholly," he added, kissing her, "and without question." He kissed her deeply again. His body ached for hers, but he knew she would not allow him on her. She was too fresh into her cycle and too depressed to take any comfort or delight in his body. "This pile needs to be done," he said finally. "I will wash as you wring it out?"

She pulled back and studied him. "I hope to be as patient as you, my love."

He smiled. "What kind of husband would I be if I didn't tolerate your moods and show you my undying devotion and love?"

She slid a hand up his chest and cupped his cheek. "I love you."

They worked on the pile, stopping when the pain was too much for her to stand, and Sebastian fed her tea and biscuits to settle her stomach. He knew she was also wishing that this routine was for a child giving her a hard time as it grew, not the utter sinking disappointment in not getting pregnant. He gathered Mey-Rin into his arms that night and once more silently wept for the child they never had that month. He also silently shed tears for the hardest seven months he would have to endure. He would never wish the pain Mey-Rin was willing to go through to become bonded with him body, soul, demon, with him, on anyone - not even the most hated demon or human.

But he also smiled as she snored softly at the willingness of her resolve. The woman was stronger than he had ever suspected, and loved him deeper than he could ever have imagined.

 **I'm so, so, soooooo sorry! On a real note though, I can't imagine for a moment the pain that anyone goes through when they are trying to have a child. I tried to imagine in my limited imagination what it's like. And to you, kind souls, I hope someday your joy is realized. Ya'll are some of the most amazing peeps!**

 **On another side note, perhaps my favorite line of almost all Ciel time is "No, I wish to eat my pancakes." It cracks me up every time I read this chapter. :P**


	27. Chapter 27

Sebastian's heart broke as they made love. He could tell there was no passion in Mey-Rin's eyes as she took his thrusts and seed into her body. Her body orgasmed, and she merely sighed as he pulled away, getting up and replacing her clothes where they had fallen, and wondered around the small garden he had planted. He would lay in the bed, alone, cold, and restless, listening to her down below in the kitchen, on the porch, sitting in a chair, book open, but staring. He would wish he was back in Hell. He could take out his anger and hurt on some damned soul and could deal with his own pain. But he bore it, silently, as she bore hers.

"Mey-Rin," he said, grabbing her wrist in the third week of the love-less sex they had every morning and every night. They were going to go to London with the staff to take in a show that Phantom Candies had sponsored for orphans. Ciel had made the offer to assist the orphanages by casting their children in a play about their lives, in hopes that they would attract couples who wished to adopt them.

She turned and he saw the dead eyes of his once alive and emotional pursuer. "Yes?"

"Oh darling," he said, pulling her back on to the bed. "My sweet assassin."

"We need to go," she said coldly, not bothering to acknowledge his pet name for her when he was trying to get her into bed again.

He released her wrist and bit his lip as she walked away. In a flash he was standing, naked, in front of her. "Mey-Rin," he said in a harsh tone. "I need you."

"You had me - twice - this very morning. Surely you can beat your own need," she said, harsh words dripping from her silver tongue. "Why bother? I am not conceiving! You have bound your hopes to me, and my earthly life to a dream. I should simply die and release you of the emotional burden I am!"

He blocked her and placed his hands on her shoulders. "You do anything to harm yourself…"

"What? You eat my soul? Fucking have it!"

She shoved him. He let himself be moved. She beat his chest. He let himself feel the pain. She yelled as she kicked him in the crotch. He doubled over as a wounded man. She elbowed his back, and he went down. She cried and sat down, hard, next to him, curling her legs close to her body and sobbed. He looked up from where he was left sprawling and longed to kiss the salty tears, but dared not move.

Her eyes were red rimmed as she lifted them from her arms thirty minutes later. He could feel the emotions vibrating off of her and wished it was the secret passion they had held for each other, the secret moves they made when they were around each other, the secret looks they pretended the other did not steal. It had been almost a year since he slipped into her room. A year of his emotions being turned on. His feelings being satisfied. His body taking and giving. His mind at rest. And now, now his beloved woman, the reason all of this was happening, was in pain. Utter pain. He had six months to impregnate her and he knew under the best of circumstances it could take longer for his demonic seed to take to her human egg and produce a baby. Produce the change they both so secretly longed for.

"My love," he ventured as she wiped her face. He watched as the watery brown eyes slid towards him and she licked her dry lips. "My dear, love," he said, his disappointment lacing his words.

She launched at him, and wrapped her arms around his neck. Her breasts tickled his hard chest as he held her close. The sudden warmth in her arms, in the way she turned into his neck, made him smile and his heart break in a new way. Oh he loved her. So deep even the fires of hell would not satisfy him as well as her arms around him, would. The whips and chains would not satisfy the longing as her naked body, pressed so hard to his, would.

"I am so sorry. Please, Sebastian, please, forgive me!"

"Oh my darling, you have been forgiven so many weeks ago. I only wanted to be in the pain with you, not be set against you and have you go through the mindless motions," he whispered into her ear as she cried into his neck. The delicate pricks of her hair flowing into his chest danced as she turned her head. Her hair was getting long now.

"You should have said something."

"I did."

"Oh."

"But I knew you heard none of it because you were in pain. And I gave you space."

She pulled back and he felt the slow rise of determination come back to her body and her eyes. "Don't leave me in that space alone. Please… I am so lonely."

He pulled her tightly to him and breathed in her scent. "I never could leave you. Even if I tried. We have dealt with the pain on our own and are not doing so well."

"No we pretty much messed this up. And we have only been married for three months," she said with a shallow laugh. "And we want eternity together?"

He snorted and kissed her nose lightly. "Ah, my dear Mey-Rin, our lives are unique. As is our love. We want to be together and are willing to sacrifice everything - but I'm not giving up on you and our love to produce a beautiful red-headed little demon."

Her eyes went round. "Will it be a demon?"

He laughed, a real, genuine laugh. "I don't know, but with you as its mother, I think it will be too afraid to come out as a demon."

She looked at him and blinked slowly, as if she was waking up from a dream. "Do you think the young master would mind terribly if we were late for duty?"

The heat was building as he laid her on the floor, his cock growing hungry for her sex. "Not at all," he whispered as he placed his fingers into her, drawing out her wetness, a familiar enough act her body responded. "I just have to tell him I was fucking my wife and he will stop asking questions."

"Sebastian Michaelis!" Mey-Rin scolded. "I hope you don't discuss our personal live with him!"

He lifted and eyebrow. "He is bound to me to give up his soul to me, and that time keeps getting longer. I almost think he enjoys the torture. A tortured demon is a dangerous one," he breathed. "Things slip out. Things are said. Things of delicious sinfulness."

"Oh gods, please, my love!" she whimpered, now bucking into his hand as she once did. "Please!"

He grinned and growled, "What is your pleasure, mistress?"

"Fuck me!"

He licked her ear and purred, "Yes, my mistress."

The house was filled with the solid cries of satisfaction as Sebastian entered his wife, lover, partner for eternity, and drew out her happiness and sadness as he swiftly took her sex with his cock. For the first time he came happily burying his seed deep into his lover, listening to the lewd sound of their bodies slapping together and panting out their proclamations of undying love.

 **Broken Mey... it's so sad to see her like that... but, well, who wouldn't after all this time? But she has this really handsome and patient guy who will wait for her to come back around. *le sigh***


	28. Chapter 28

The next two monthlies were met with disappointment, but Sebastian was able to have his lover in his arms, sharing the moment together. Two more months and it would be time for them to decide - go to Hell and have Mey-Rin ripped open, or continue trying to convert her with his seed. The winter cold swept into Phantomhive manor early and the lovers found their heated sex was even more amazing as they slowly burned the snow around them. Sebastian had reminded her of how much she loved when he had turned the room into a snow storm when they were secretly seeing each other, no thoughts of a future beyond the satisfying needs of the other.

Mey-Rin held on to his shoulders and bounced on his cock. His hands were on her hips. He grunted a bit and let his seed flow into her once more fertile womb. They had consulted books and ancient scrolls that documented demon and human relations, trying the Karma Sutra and even herbs. They had settled into the long and loving sessions that Sebastian lavished on her body and Mey-Rin's cries of ecstasy convinced him they were at least slating their sexual needs, even if they weren't getting pregnant.

"Sebastian," she moaned.

He held her naked body to his and finished feeding her body his seed, and letting her ride the high of the on and off, three hour sex marathon they had. Their young master had let them go early because of the very snow storm they were making love in. They had sped to their home, and Sebastian had quickly sped to devest his lover of all her clothes and take her quick and deep against the outside walls of their two story home, ready and willing to take the child, and any children they managed to make thereafter, into it's walls and cherish the family the lovers wanted to make. Slowly he took her off his cock, feeling the cold and walked them into their home, now filled with about a dozen tiny curled up cats, scattered around the home, and clustered around the fireplace and the oven.

Mey-Rin stilled and turned toward Sebastian. "What are we doing for Christmas?"

"I was going to dress up and then let you undress me," he said hotly, kissing her naked shoulder.

"No, I mean, for the young master. This is his last birthday as a single… teenager. In three months he and Lady Elizabeth will be married."

He sighed and stood behind her, his hands on her waist and hips. He knew his master was becoming worried. He wanted answers, peace from his past, a real future with his wife, and as he had said only once, in a whisper, he wanted to be happy like Mey-Rin and he was. He wanted to have a family that would be able to use all the things he had built up as he investigated, he wanted to pass the position of the Queen's Watchdog on to his child, like his father had done, before the young boy was even ready. Ciel wanted to live and live life with the pain gone. Sebastian sighed, none of it would be easy, and as he slipped his arms around his own happiness, his own reason to be eternal, he had assured his young master that it was worth it.

"I had thought to take him to special place before now. To," he paused and sighed. His lover knew more than anyone not under a demon contract. "To see where his soul will be consumed one day."

"How awful," she said, turning. "That's not a gift at all. Not one to give before you are about to be married and live a human life, at least."

Sebastian at least looked like he agreed.

"I haven't thought of anything beyond that."

"Perhaps we should get some plans," she said, kissing him slowly. "We have so much to thank him for. He deserves to have a great Christmas."

Sebastian took her in his arms and walked them to their bedroom, reluctant to have to find some clothes. Mey-Rin would never be able to become pregnant if he let her die due to hypothermia. They dressed and discussed their day, the normal coming and goings of of the manor. They kissed and lightly touched, nothing much more than just the grounding of each other, as they moved around their own house, doing some chores they had neglected.

"Perhaps a gift of a cruise?" Mey-Rin finally suggested as they cleaned up after dinner. Only she ate, but Sebastian still cleaned the dishes and made sure the meals were beautifully crafted.

"Over Christmas?"

"Something different. Without us."

Sebastian turned as he replaced the cup in the shelf above. "Without us?" he bit his lip. "I don't know about that. The very least I go with him."

"My dear, if you went, how much of a vacation away would it be?"

"But anything can happen."

"He will be a married man soon. I think he and Lady Elizabeth would appreciate a little alone time." She smiled and slid into him, her fingers tracing his hard chest through the shirt. "I know I do."

"So we send the young master on a cruise - alone - and in turn we get more alone time?"

She shrugged. "And Bard and Finny as well. Oh! Speaking of, Bard may have a new love interest!"

"Oh good, about time," he grumbled as he dried the dish she handed. "I was thinking I would have to take him back to the range and show him how well I execute."

"Sebastian," she scolded and then smiled. "You are so adorable when you are jealous."

"So who is Baldroy sweet on?"

"You remember the shepherd who came by a few weeks ago, asking the young master for access to a larger parcel of land in the spring? He has a daughter. Unmarried," she added.

"Ah, good, he is learning."

She swatted him and he slid his arms around her and twirled her around the kitchen. "She is a widow, has a child. Bard is taking them over the weekend to London to see a play."

"Perhaps I should give him a culture lesson."

"No, my dear, I am the only one who gets extra lessons," she said, looking up at him from under her eyelashes.

He felt his cock harden and licked his lips. "Yes, mistress."

They shared the bed as every night, passionately and with the air thick of each of their needs being satisfied. Sebastian bend her over the bed and finished once more deep into her body, as the moon dipped lower. He didn't need sleep but his human lover did, and he healed her of their excessive bruises, and curled her up into his body, protectively, possessively letting her fall fast asleep, his hand over the stomach, still, as was every night for the past two months.

 **Hey my lovely people! Thanks for the reviews, and the views! I know the tone of this one is a bit more intense in the feels at times, dealing with some hard-hitting issues of wanting a baby so badly... It was a difficult thread to pick up, but I think there needs to be more talk about such issues... even if it is in the non-RL... we all deal with disappointment and I think that was what Sebastian and Mey-Rin were really trying to tell me while I was writing this... Anyhow... A silver lining is that we get some smutty moments! Til next chap!  
**


	29. Chapter 29

"A cruise?"

"Yes, my lord, a cruise."

Earl Ciel Phantomhive, now age 16, stared at the ticket in his hand. "But it's only one. Do you have your own already?"

"No, young master. Mey-Rin thought it would be good for you to be on your own for this adventure. Soon you will be walking your path with Lady Elizabeth," he paused and smiled. "And of course I will always be by your side."

The teenager looked at his butler in skepticism. "But not this time."

"I will always know how you are doing, my lord," Sebastian said, meeting his master's eyes meaningfully. "If any harm comes to you, I will be there in flash."

"Why now? I mean I think Greenland would be lovely in its perpetual winter, but why now?"

"I thought you should get away before your life is even more full," Mey-Rin said, entering the room with plates of cake. "I found it in the ice box," she said, meeting Sebastian's wondering gaze. "It needs to be eaten."

The young master eagerly took the piece and smiled at Sebastian as he sat smugly in his chair. "I think a cruise on my own will be exactly what I need. These past few months have been so crazy, and I think leaving you all for a few weeks may give you some more perspective on each of your positions."

Sebastian smirked back at his young master. "I think Mey-Rin and I have established our positions quite well. And Mey-Rin informed me last night that Baldroy may have some new directions to place his emotions."

"All is needed to get Finny to calm down from running through the fields for him to settle down too."

Mey-Rn smiled, "I think, young master, you will always have Finny galloping through the manor grounds for a very long time."

"Well," the earl said, sitting back as he licked his fork, "at least I have a great babysitter when Lizzie and I have children." His eyes flicked up quickly and Mey-Rin stopped him from an apology. He smiled a bit and added, "Our houses will be full of laughter… someday."

Sebastian smiled softly at his wife, and then looked at his young master. "Someday."

Four days later, the household all went to the docks and waved their young master farewell for his two weeks away. He would spend a week at sea, and a week in the London town house, being looked after by Agni and Soma, although he wasn't expecting them. Sebastian had scolded Mey-Rin when she wrote to them, saying the young master would be cross with both of them. She had simply gotten up and took the riding crop and presented it to him, smiling.

The pair took a room in the sea-side town and laid in bed, listening to the others quiet breaths.

"Sebastian?"

"Yes, my love."

"In less than two months we will be at our one year deadline."

"I know."

"I don't know if I want to go to Hell and have another demon take me to eternity," she whispered, rolling into his side and looking up into his face. "But if getting pregnant is so difficult…"

"I will try until eternity takes us," he said, looking down at her and curling her body into his. "And you could be already."

She smiled and shook her head. "I don't want to get my hopes up."

"I love you. No matter what."

She kissed his shoulder and then his chin. "I love you too."

"I want to make love," he asked, a small blush creeping up.

"Oh, my dear, a request?"

He turned his head and looked her in the eyes. "I want nothing but just us taking the joy of being naked, under sheets, making love. Being a married couple, celebrating six months of marriage."

She slid on top of him and looked down at her hearts and body's protector. She placed her hands on his chest and relished the stiffening of his cock against her sex. Rocking she let him slip into her and they slowly worked all his cock deep into her sex, as they had done for over a year. His hands slid up her sides, watching as her breasts heaved and swayed as her body moved on his. Sebastian watched as her eyes closed and her movements became deeper, more demanding. He took over and his hands went back to her hips, pushing her down as he stroked up.

He watched as the familiar needs and hushed sounds filled the room as quietly as possible. His beloved was the woman he needed to slate his desires, but also to unlock the feelings, emotions, the human things inside his demon form. When he had decided to let his maid continue to trip into him and he continued to right her back on her feet. When he decided to stop dismissing her as she did her job poorly and decided to let a few things go, just clean up after her. When her touch suddenly stopped burning him and he started to crave them. As he craved her now. As he craved to have a baby grow in his beloved. As he craved a human-demon to spend eternity with him. As he craved…

He let his form go and he consumed her body as she continued to take him, now hard and fast. As he thrust into her, wrapped himself around her, came deep into her, making this … this… this time be it.

Mey-Rin silently screamed and he curled down her throat, feeling every inside and outside of his lover. Of the woman who he would take to the ends of the earth, to the ends of time.

And he laughed his demonic laugh at the void that was once inside him. So full of love and emotions that it no longer existed. He was what no one thought could exist - especially the wicked Michaelis whose pride at one point was how great his tortured souls tasted as he hastily went from contract to contract. Now, as he pulled back and held his lover, his maid, his beloved, he was whole.

A demon with a heart, with a soul, with a love for humanity!


	30. Chapter 30

1891 saw Baldroy share a rather public kiss with his widowed shepherdess, Robin Alice. Finnian showing her daughter, Cassie, how to make snow angels in the snow. Sebastian and Mey-Rin stood on the steps of the manor, watching them. In a few days the young master would be coming back, and Sebastian was surprised he had not already returned home with Soma chasing him all the way. He suspected it was Tanaka who made sure they all were staying calm. The old butler had come back from a European tour as Ciel was preparing for his cruise. Sebastian and the whole household was relieved that he had made it back; Tanaka was enjoying some much needed vacation time himself, but had answered the last minute letter from Sebastian. Mey-Rin had tried to stop him; the whole staff needed time away. But Sebastian had insisted that it would ease his mind. And Ciel's, even if he never admitted it.

Mey-Rin shivered and he looked down at his mistress and rubbed his hands a little on her arms, over the thick coat. Burning hell fires was useful when she was cold. He frowned. She got cold much easier these days. He pulled her close and smelled her, sweet vanilla. He blinked. There was a crash and he looked over to where now a piece of the entry gate was hanging off its hinge, Finnian yelling something, and Cassie was running toward Baldroy and her mother, in obvious distraught.

"Never a dull moment," Mey-Rin said. "Go, take care of Finny, the poor boy, and I'll take care of the rest."

He kissed the top of her head and smiled. "You will be a wonderful mother."

She smiled and traced his jaw lightly. "Someday."

He walked briskly toward Finnian and looked back at his wife. "Hopefully sooner than we think," he whispered.

He helped the strong boy rehang the gate and patiently listened to the sting of apologies he was saying even as they walked back into the manor, twenty minutes later.

"Finnian," Sebastian finally said, turning toward the gardener. He placed a hand on his shoulder and felt the boy - _no, almost young man,_ he reminded himself - stiffen. He sighed, and wished the staff, after almost five and half years together, would relax. But they saw him as the Head Butler he was, and the protector of everyone. "Finnian, you do not need to apologize over and over. It was an accident. And no on got hurt. You saw how easily it was repaired," he said, watching the gardener slowly nod and wipe tears from his cheek. "Nothing will ever happen around here that is un-repairable."

"Thank you Mister Sebastian. Your kind words make me happy to be here. Everyday."

Sebastian smiled at him and asked him to check on the food, not trusting that Baldroy had detached himself long enough to put them on platters. He went out to seek his wife, and found her in his old bedroom, looking out of the window.

"Mey-Rin, is everything okay?" he asked as he glided to a stop beside her.

She nodded and he smelled her tears. "Happy or sad?"

"I am just thinking about how this house has become home to all of us, and how, soon, it will be Lady Elizabeth's home as well. Our lives are changing again, aren't they?"

He slipped his arms around her and nestled her head into his shoulder, holding it there with a turn of his head. "I have had so many lifetimes blend into each other it is sometimes too easy to forget you only get one. Well," he paused and kissed her head, "the mortal humans do. You, my love, will not be living one lifetime."

"But I will," she said, turning. "I will be living one lifetime with you."

He kissed her and mused at her wisdom. Her quick responses and quips never stopped making him do double takes at how amazingly smart and quick she really was, and how lucky he was to have her in his life. If she had not been who she was, if she had not fallen for him and his demonic charms that took in many humans before, if she had not pushed back when he pushed her away, they would not be standing together, praying that the slight change in the air was the first indicator she was pregnant, not just something in the air he had mistakenly thought came from her body. He held his tongue, not wanting her hopes dashed like they were three - almost four - months ago.

He reached down and cupped her face, kissing her softly. "The staff is entertaining themselves."

"Are you suggesting we do the same?"

He smiled and took her lips once more. "I do like the feeling of this mattress."

She kissed him and took off her extra sweater. "I miss how the chains felt on my wrists."

"My dear, you wish to be shackled?"

"Only by and to you."

She found herself on the bed, her wrists bound. Mey-Rin smiled as he undid his pants and pushed them down as he climbed on the bed, his heavy cock coming into his hands as he took himself and smiled down at her.

"We haven't had a lesson in a long time," he breathed. "Perhaps a review?"

"I think my language needs more work," she said, breathing heavily as his cock ventured closer to her mouth. "I can trace the words I remember."

"Let's start with our favorite word of all," he sad, easing himself into her velvet mouth. He looked down and slid his hands down the wall a bit, hunching over and thrusting. "Fuck."

She traced the letters perfectly and he grinned.

"Lover."

"Sex."

"Cock."

"I love you."

He pumped steadily into her mouth and came twice as she pushed her tongue over him. He took himself out and pushed her dress up, wrapping her legs around him and plunged deep into her sex. The bed creaked the old, familiar sound, and he watched as her face danced, the position familiar even in their own home, but this, this was where they had started.

"Please, come in me," she pleaded as time passed and he had not released his seed again. He laced his fingers with hers still in shackles and kissed her as he bucked faster once more. She pleaded with him and he sat up, adjusting her on his solid cock and pulled almost all the way out and slammed himself back in, causing him to have the most glorious feeling in his body as well.

"Fuck," she whimpered. "Oh gods, yes, Mister Sebastian, give me the baby I want. The maid wants the butlers love child - so scandalous! Society will never be the same! Oh Sebastian! Please!"

He came hard into her and she threw her body into his as he released himself. Her glorious body taking him and everything he gave her. He kissed her and smiled; there was her true fantasy before he crossed the line and opened himself to the possibility of feelings and emotions toward her. The fantasy she had when she asked him to stay in her room. The fantasy they shared in the hallway, when his cock finally slide into her body, his cock in her mouth, his hands on every part he could touch.

He undid her shackles and kissed her flesh, easing the pain as she refused to erase the bruises that were sure to lightly appear. She got out of bed and looked at him as she took her dress off, and giggled as he watched her open the door and beckon him. He took his shirt off and walked naked after his naked lover. Down the hall, past the closed doors of the other staff, into her old room. He picked her up and slide back into her sex, pounding her lightly into the walls of her old room. So much had happened in their old rooms. So many moments that changed their lives, changed their positions, changed everything about how they looked at each other. Sebastian sat on the bed and bounced her until she came again. She got off him and with shaky legs, turned and leaned against the small dresser, looking back at him as he walked behind her and stuffed her sex once more.

His hands were on the wall, above hers, as he sank deeply and he kissed her back as he humped her slow and then fast, feeding the building need and his own. Their sex was epic. So many men, women, demons, damned souls had taken him into themselves as best as they could, but none demanded him to continue, to become hard so quickly, to push the fires of hell into their bodies for hours on end. But Mey-Rin, he slammed his horse cock into her tunnel and felt the shutter of her orgasm. She took him. Every night. Deeply. Easily as if there was no problem. She panted and his hands cupped her breasts, pulling her up and taking her delicate weight into his arms. He could hold her forever. Fuck her forever. He roared as he came, deeply wanting to plant the baby they both wanted into her.


	31. Chapter 31

The next month Mey-Rin sat up and bolted toward the restroom, lurching the previous nights dinner, into the toilet. Sebastian was close behind, hearing her wake from a nap and dashing from the kitchen, hoping she would finally feel well enough to eat. Pushed her longer hair to her back and rubbing her back as he did many months, he was sure any appetite she may have had, vanished. She sat back and wiped her mouth.

"I think I may be pregnant," she whispered, turning brown eyes of hope toward him.

"I noticed you were past your monthly," he said. They tracked the highs and lows of her body, eager to take advantage of the window of fertile time for his seed to catch her body off guard. Demons and humans did not easily have offspring.

"You suspected?"

He ducked his head and slowly smiled. "I didn't want to do what I did the last time and tell you or others, just in case."

Mey-Rin wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. "Can you smell me? Am I different?"

He held her and took in her scent from her neck. Vanilla. And… a spice. Sulfur? Lavender? But was that him? He pulled back and looked into the hopeful eyes. He sent a quick prayer she wasn't merely having a bad winter's stomach flu. "I can't say for sure, but from the way you have been sick, I think we may have become pregnant at last."

She kissed him. He wrapped her body around his and kissed back. His lover, his wife, his mate - for eternity. She shifted away and looked up at him. "You think we will hurt the baby if we make love?"

He quickly laid her in their bed and smiled. "No, not at all."

He slipped his hands under her night gown and warmed his hands as they slid up to her breasts. Breasts that would become tender. Would become heavier. Would feed their baby. _Their baby_ , Sebastian mused as he kissed his beloved's now occupied womb - the smell now was stronger. He tickled her legs as he breathed down her body and lifted her sex up to his mouth. He kissed her. He licked her. He wished he could peer inside, see his child, see it attached to her body, his seed blooming. Now the smell was strong. And as he kissed her sex, drawing out wetness, he smiled and kissed the top of her sex.

"We are having a baby, my love," he whispered, his voice laced in awe, in wonder, in love.

"How long?"

He licked again. "Remember when we sent the young master on his cruise?"

She shuttered and sat up a bit, her eyes drilling into his. "Two months?"

He nodded.

"Can we tell the young master?"

His gaze clouded and he considered the timing. "In a few weeks Lady Elizabeth will be moving her belongings into the manor. A few weeks after that, they will be married." He sighed and joined her on the bed, her eager need and his answering need, put aside. He pulled her into his body and rubbed his warming hands on her cooling body. "You will be giving birth about two month after our anniversary, and Lady Elizabeth will more than likely not be surprised; her comments about a family have increased to maddening proportions. The young master doesn't even want to have baby carrots on the menu."

"Oh," she said, disappointed. "I thought maybe letting him know about," she spread her hands over her stomach and his joined as well, "it would help if he still had feelings of…" she shook her head and looked up at him. "Does he love Lady Elizabeth? I mean he talks about her sometimes, but will they be happy?"

"He is determined to work on it until his time comes and he delivers his soul to me," Sebastian said. He rubbed her back and smiled. "I think he delays the search more to be able to have the one thing he has been trying to have for the past six years - a family. You know he talks about it a lot."

They fell into silence, into their own minds, into their own happiness and worries.

"Sebastian?"

"Mm?"

"Can we get back to celebrating that we created a baby and my conversion from mortal to immortal has finally started?"

They smiled and he kissed her, snuggling into her body as he glided his hands over the woman who he had fallen for. They stroked the flames of passion back up, which wasn't long, and Mey-Rin was moaning as his fingers sped into her sex.

He lit the candles around the room and flipped her on to his chest. "My dear Mey-Rin." He kissed her and slide her knees closer to his body.

"Sebastian," she whispered as she rose and gripped his cock, guiding it into to her. She licked her lips and sat down, his cock being taken once more. "Thank you!"

"For what, my sweet woman?"

"For coming into my life!"

He slide his hands into her hair, sitting up, changing the angle, making her pant. "Thank you for falling into my arms."

"Thank you for catching me."

"Thank you for letting your limitations not limit your determination to fantasize about me."

She giggled. "I knew perfectly well what you looked like. You forget, I wore the glasses only when I worked in the manor, not while I was doing my duty to protect the manor and the young master. I watched you sometimes watch me workout."

He hissed and sped up. "And you teased me."

"I knew what I wanted."

"Minx."

"Demon."

He laid her down and sped up even more. "Thank you for unlocking my own feelings to what I wanted." He kissed her deeply and roughly. "This. I wanted this. Your sex, your body, your eternity - be mine. All mine. I am a selfish demon. I want it all. I want the perfect soul in the young master. I want the perfect pain and pleasure in the Phantomhive staff. I want the perfect love to bring me to the place I can forget about my own imperfections."

He came. He came and she came and they screamed each others names. They came and his seed flooded to protect his unborn child, give it more strength to grow, to change his lover. He bucked into Mey-Rin as she did him, and they knew in the instant their eyes met, that their eternity was sealed for certain - not even the depths of Hell would tear them apart for longer than a second, if that. He would have this body and soul bound to him, bound to the ends of Hell, to the ends of time. He kissed her and withdrew, flipping her and entered her roughly again, taking his pleasure from her body, drawing out hers.

They did not make it to the manor for two days as the usual routine was broken for the nonstop pleasure of their celebration. He stumbled out of their bed, legs weak, body exhausted, cock well spent, and looked at the state of his ravaged woman. Already, two months into her pregnancy and she could take the non-stop demonic love making sessions. He groaned with desire and tiredness. His child would make them enjoy the conversion of her losing part of her human, mortal side, and the rise of her demonic, immortal side, given and taken by the very child that had made her so sick and so happy.

He let her sleep as he slipped into his suit and ran to the manor. He had to tell his young master of the news. And then he had to run back and wait on his lovers every need.

 ***WAAAAAAA* oh dear fluffy bunnies... FINALLY I get to write this chapter. It was like... TORTURE in not being able to write this sooner... *so many happy sighs***


	32. Chapter 32

"So she is pregnant - for sure?" the Earl said, looking meaningfully at Sebastian as he buttoned his shirt up.

"Yes, for sure."

Ciel stilled and sighed. "I am very happy for you. And in a weird way I am getting a bonus on my contract; gaining another person who will protect me until the end of time."

"Indeed you are, my lord. Mey-Rin has always thought highly of you, and is forever in your debt for rescuing her from her previous life."

"She shouldn't," he said quickly. He saw the perplexed look and snorted. "You were the one who heard the news of a young assassin who was found and would be executed. You are the one who brought that news to me, saying she would make an excellent addition."

Sebastian blinked slowly; how could his master remember such details? And of course he knew Mey-Rin was found by him, a butlers job was to make sure the master was always in charge. _To a point_ , Sebastian mused.

Ciel waved a hand, dismissing the whole conversation. "Elizabeth will be here this afternoon. Movers." He shuttered slightly. "And in two weeks I am going to be walking down my own wedding isle." He turned and picked up his rings from the velvet lined jewelry box. "Any advice?" he asked, looking at Sebastian, meeting his eyes in the mirror.

"Allow yourself some rest and freedom to be happy," he said finally. "Lady Elizabeth will be a fine addition to the Phantomhive family."

Ciel whirled around and gave a small laugh. "An amusing thing to say, Sebastian. We already have a demon, converting half-human, baby of unknown variety, an experimented man-child who doesn't know his own strength, a cook who can't cook unless he burns the whole thing, and an old man who remembers my parents." He walked to the door and paused in opening it. "And then there is me, a broken child who had a crush on the one person who never stopped fighting for him to be made whole again."

Sebastian watched as his young master strolled out of the bedroom. He heard the delicate footfalls and the steady heart beat. He closed his eyes and smiled. _Ah, yes, my lord, I do want you whole, but beyond that, happy. A happy, whole, full, soul for my meal. I have waited so long, cultivated it so much, but this one last thing is what I have been missing from all of my souls: Love beyond the pain._

"Sebastian! Are you going to stand there like an idiot, or do I have to direct the movers myself?" the Earl yelled down the hall.

Sebastian snapped his eyes open and smiled, licking his lips. A soul full of love - that was his desire. He fluidly walked out of the room and was standing beside his master in a moment. Ciel huffed and shook his head.

"Tell me Mey-Rin will not acquire your ability to sneak around the house."

"I actually do not know how she will change and what demonic abilities she will have," he said, cocking his head as he thought. "We were to busy trying to make a child to discuss it."

"Oh, please - no," Ciel suddenly said. "Remember how we said we would not discuss our private, bedroom affairs?"

Sebastian smiled. "So no bedroom tips before the wedding?"

Ciel paled and turned, walking swiftly down the stairs. Sebastian simply laughed.

 ***pokes Ciel* heheeh.. heheeh! Ok, so a light hearted chapter after so much angst! SO MUCH ANGST! I need more chocolate to deal. Til next chapters, my sweets...**


	33. Chapter 33

**My sweets who are reading - thanks for sticking with this lovely fic... *blush* ok. So we finally get some others involved in this "we are in love" tale... and of course always have a bit more drama. Who isn't into drama? :-P**

"Is it cute enough?" Elizabeth asked Mey-Rin as she moved the maid in front of the mirror. Thankfully Sebastian had been able to sneak her into the closet where the bridesmaid dresses were hanging so Mey-Rin could see what the looked like; she wore her glasses now that Lady Elizabeth was moving in.

"It is, my Lady. Very cute indeed," she said, smoothing the extra puffy dress down some. She actually thought it was ugly. She had not held back when she had been snuck into the closet and seen the dresses.

 _"Pink?"_

"You know that is Lady Elizabeth's favorite color," Sebastian had simply reminded her. "The master is already complaining about the pink towels in his bathroom."

"But a pink, puffy dress? Sebastian, can't you do something?"

He had laughed and swiftly took her out of the closet and back to their private quarters in the manor.

"I thought you'd like it! It makes your red hair stand out," Elizabeth said, playing with her hair.

Since her own wedding, Mey-Rin had let her hair grow out, and it was down past her shoulders, almost to her shoulder blades in the back. Sebastian would mindlessly play with it when she read or after they made love. She now twisted it back into a tight bun and smiled tightly. "I will wear it like this so it doesn't take away from your own beautiful hair."

Elizabeth squealed and hugged her. "This is why we are friends! And to have another female in the house, besides my mother, is going to be so fun!"

Mey-Rin nodded and heard the door open slightly.

"Lady Elizabeth, are you dressed?"

"Mister Sebastian! Oh do come in, see your wife all dressed and cute!" Elizabeth said, yanking the door open. Mey-Rin only saw the outline of her beloved and smiled tightly again, hoping he would whisk her away.

"A very nice selection, Lady Elizabeth. It makes her hair beautiful."

Mey-Rin gave a sigh and swore she heard his lips twitch into a small smile.

"Doesn't it! She was saying she wants it up, but I think half down, ringlets, and some sparkles," Elizabeth was saying, tugging her hair again. "Or maybe a small garland of flowers? Spring is coming. A symbol of spring, newness, and new life."

Mey-Rin hadn't told her yet about her being pregnant, despite that she was already showing a bit and was close to four months along. She sighed and took her glassed off, stilling Elizabeth's hands in her hair.

"Lady Elizabeth," she said and she threw a glance at her husband, still standing in the doorway. "Mister Sebastian and I have some news."

"Oh?"

"I'm expecting."

Elizabeth seemed to be expecting herself as she looked at her with eager eyes.

Mey-Rin sighed again. "I'm pregnant."

"Oh my goodness! I thought the dress was a bit tight! Oh congratulations! Your baby will be so cute!"

Mey-Rin winced at the sound of her new mistress' voice, as she hugged her and talked at the same volume.

"Oh this is great news! Maybe Ciel will get me pregnant and we can have our babies at the same time!"

Sebastian finally cleared his throat and looked at them both. "Mey-Rin and I have been trying for a long time, so we are particularly happy about finally having a baby."

Elizabeth sighed and sat on one of the low stools in her dressing room. "It's like in the romantic books mamma says I shouldn't read. True love finally is discovered, after the man and woman hate each other, or secretly love one another, but can't be together, and suddenly they can be, and then the loving couple have a baby - a whole house full in some books - and they are just so… so… cute!"

Mey-Rin met Sebastian's gaze; at least part of it was like their own story. They smiled a little as Elizabeth continued to gush about how she was going to decorate the house for the reception, and the wedding. And after, the nursery. Sebastian broke eye contact with his beloved and looked at Lady Elizabeth.

"Isn't it early to be decorating for your children?" he asked, stepping inside. He set the tray of tea down and glanced back at Mey-Rin. He and the young master had agreed until they knew what Mey-Rin's pregnancy meant, for her, for him, for the staff, she would work in the manor, under close supervision and sleep in their cottage. They maintained their quarters above, but it was mostly for show.

Elizabteh's eyes danced. "No! For your baby! It's the least I can do," she said. She got up and stood in front of Sebastian, looking up at him. "I may be your new Lady Phantomhive - oh that sounds so amazing! - but I want you to know I will not interfere and only want to bring more happiness to the home." She smiled and Mey-Rin saw Sebastian relax a bit. "Please Mister Sebastian? You are doing so much to welcome me into your home, let me show you how grateful I am."

Sebastian smoothly kneeled and bowed. "Lady Elizabeth, we are the ones who should be grateful. You are making the young master happy, and for me, at least, that is the highest gift you can give us."

Mey-Rin nodded, wiping tears from her eyes and cheeks. She moved and stood by her husband, her left hand on his right shoulder and bowed her head to her new mistress. "I will protect you as I do the young master. And you will never know how deep that loyalty will go. But it's yours."

Elizabeth burst into tears and wrapped her arms around the pair. The three of them found a balance and as Sebastian scooped up his beloved, back in her maid uniform, they shared a slow and passionate night making love before their long day, celebrating the union of another couple: Earl and Lady Phantomhive.


	34. Chapter 34

She tugged at the sides of her pink dress and balanced the tray of food as well. She climbed the stairs and paused, replacing her glasses as she opened the door. She almost stumbled as it opened before she pushed it and was smoothly caught in the strong, familiar arms of Sebastian.

"Dear me," he said softly. "A maid in a pink dress, falling into my arms."

"The food!" she whispered, not able to see, or stand on her own.

"In my care," he said, kissing the top of her head as he helped her stand. "No one saw, calm down my love."

"I can't breath," she said, panic rising. "I can't do this, I can't be a maid. Oh dear, Sebastian, what will I do if I can't do my job?"

He placed the tray on the side table and reached, plucking her glasses off her nose, her breathing becoming easier, and he smiled. "Do you need me to loosen your dress?"

There was no sexual undertones and she nodded; even if there was, she felt as if the fabric around the baby was too tight. They worked hard, enjoyably hard, to have a baby; she was not going to loose it to some stupid pink dress. Sebastian's expert fingers reached around and she felt totally safe in her lovers arms, his fingers untying the knot and working the laces around her lower back and up to expand the dress a bit to loosen it around her waist.

"Better?"

She nodded and he retied the bow, looser. "I thought I was past the tripping," she sobbed suddenly.

He simply held her and kissed her head. "I startled you. I was coming down to fetch the food myself. You need to be in the dining room, off your feet and being looked after. After all, what kind of butler and husband would I be if my maid and wife were not looked after?"

She stifled a giggle into his coat and looked up. "Do I know this maid you are suddenly so fond of pampering?"

He smiled and gave a short laugh. "No, she transformed like a butterfly and a wholly new person, my love."

"I love you," she whispered, placing a hand on his cheek.

"I hate to break up the obvious love in the air, but we are kind of hungry," the newly married Earl said. "Good thing I came and found you. Baroness Midford almost beat me with a bread stick to stay beside Elizabeth. I'm glad they are not moving in as well," he added under his breath. He sighed and shook his head, glancing back at the still closed dining room door.

"Mey-Rin was simply coming back and had tripped when I opened the door."

Ciel looked at her and assessed her quickly. "Are you okay? The baby?"

"All is fine, young master," she assured the boy. "Sebastian will take over my duties, if that is alright."

"Yes, yes, as long as you need, you are dismissed for the day. I can manage without you almost getting hurt. Please, come," he said, offering his arm to help guide her once Sebastian replaced her glasses and kissed her nose so delicately. She blushed like mad; they made sure to not show any sign of affection in front of the staff, especially since after they all had discovered they had a web of emotional attachments among the household members.

She sensed Sebastian behind her; she sensed a lot more things these days as her pregnancy continued. Sebastian had discovered that her reflexes were gaining on his own. She had enjoyed a quick knife throwing competition, dodging the knives he threw and even catching one, only to return it to find he too caught it. And then when he scooped her up and they sped home, turning in for the night and writing down another one of her demonic abilities coming forth.

Ciel eased her down into a chair and nodded for Sebastian to serve her as well. The newly married Earl turned to the wondering eyes of his dinner guests. "My Head Maid, Mey-Rin, is being honored tonight, a tradition we do at important dinners," he said smoothly. Sebastian suppressed the smile he wore when his young master smoothly lied. "She was also honored by being in our wedding. Mey-Rin has helped keep my house clean and welcoming for everyone who comes to the Phantomhive manor." He lifted his glass in a toast. "Mey-Rin Michaelis."

"Mey-Rin Michaelis," the small wedding party said in unison.

And she blushed so deep, the small ringlets of her hair blended into her skin. She lifted her water glass and dipped her head. Sebastian continued to place the perfectly arranged food and gazed at his beautiful, blushing wife. His own heart beat in time with hers and he laid her plate last, giving her a smile so soft and full of love, he wanted nothing else but to stay by her side and soak up the beauty of this moment. He was having a child, with her, and would spend eternity looking at the round and perfect face. His wife, Mey-Rin Michaelis.


	35. Chapter 35

**Before we get on to the hating me bit... I am sure will come - let me pause and thank my dear reviews and readers - ya know, YOU! Thank you! I have to add that some of you are just using too many superlatives like "greatest story ever" or "I love this so much" - and really just made my coming back to writing a bit easier. So... before I torture you *mauaahaahha* I am happy to say I have have paused a few other fics (ya!) and am thinking doing a sequel to this one. So... I am bouncing a few ideas and I have to say the Phantomhive Staff has been kind enough to pause their other activities and help brain storm. I love character development as much as useless sex scenes, so there may be more characters popping up in "This is How We Feel, Too"... perhaps, if the muse is willing. If not... does anyone object to useless sex? No? Ok...  
**

The young master sat at his desk and signed another form. He glanced up as Sebastian strode in, another stack in his hands.

"Honestly? Does the Queen think I have time to sign every paper in the whole Empire?"

"I do not know that, my lord."

He sighed and pushed his chair back, looking at his butler as he placed the fresh stack of papers on his desk. "How is Mey-Rin?"

"Having a better day, my lord," he replied, standing beside his master. "More tea?"

"Please. This will take my hand. You mind a one handed body to consume?"

Sebastian chuckled. "Joking about the end, a good sign you are happy." He paused and looked down at the boy. "No, your soul will be all I need. A body can be repaired."

"Damn, you sound like a real demon now. Go get me more tea. And another ink well."

Sebastian bowed, "Yes, my lord."

Mey-Rin had started to feel weaker and more emotional as her pregnancy went on, now seven months along. They wanted to celebrate their one year, human anniversary away from the house, but her pregnancy was not allowing her to move much. They even had moved their bed down to the living room, the cats finding new perching spots. He glided down to the kitchen and spotted one of the cats sitting in the doorway. Sebastian grew worried; it was Aristotle and she never ventured close to the house.

"What is it?" he asked, bending down to pick up the orange tabby. She purred and meowed, digging her claws into his jacket to reach his face to rub her cheeks on his.

He listened and stilled. "Mey-Rin!"

He flew with the cat still in his arms, her fur flattening as he moved faster than the blink of a normal human. He placed her gently down on the garden bench and threw the door off its hinges as he entered the cottage. Mey-Rin was in obvious pain. Clutching her stomach, big and full of his child. He sat on the bed and recoiled; she was burning as hot as the flames of deepest hell. Her body would be singed and blistered if not for his seed growing in her.

"Mey-Rin," he said softly. "Oh my love."

"It…it hurts! Oh god it is so hot! So cold! So painful!"

He took his coat off and his shirt, watching as she continued to cry and occasionally screamed through the pain. He knew the pain. Had lived it. Had inflicted it.

"This is not the time to be naked, Sebastian!"

He smiled and shook his head. "I need the heat off you. Something is trying to kill our child. I know this fire - someone knows." A hardness came over him as he realized the impact of his own words. _Someone knew._

She sizzled under his touch, sending small waves of steam where he wrapped her up in his body. He breathed and cooled himself more, taking the heat out of her as much as he could. He held her stomach and felt his unborn child moving, actively trying to throw off the burning of hell as well.

"I know, little one, daddy is trying."

"Sebastian."

"I'm here, always here." He kissed his lips to hers and felt the sizzle, a different kind this time. "Just keep pushing through. It's okay."

"It hurts! It's so hot! I thought you said this was easier!"

His heart shattered. "It is. It really is, my beloved. Soon you will be feeling better and in two months we will be holding our baby in our arms," he sobbed. He rubbed her belly and kissed his child. "It will be better. Just give me all of the pain."

He bore her grip down his arm, her nails slicing his skin, the heat flowing into him easier. He breathed through it, it was a delicious way to to have a piece of his nasty soul with him. But not for her, not for his human, mortal lover. He breathed in her scent, still vanilla, a bit sharper, sweeter, as her pregnancy went on. And he smelled his baby, sulfur and jasmine. He hoped it was a girl. He hoped it was a immortal human-demon. Sebastian gathered her up and walked up the stairs, to the bathroom, the large tub suddenly seeming like the best place he had not thought of. He turned the water on and felt the cold rush to fill the empty cavity. He stepped in, and held Mey-Rin's still clothed body. He ripped the clothing off and she screamed.

"It's too cold! It's too cold!"

"Shh, my sweet one. Please, still, I'm protecting you."

And even as he said it he heard the rumble.

The clattering of chains.

The whip as it sung in the air, cracking the stone as it landed.

He had done that.

He had felt that.

He had only a few moments left before he lost his form, to fight and protect and lick off the very depths of hell off the clean soul of his life mate. Off of his soon to be half-human, half-demon. Off of his child being claimed by the very talons he now was letting grow.

"I love you, Mey-Rin."

And she screamed as he let her go, and vanished into the air, like spilled ink.


	36. Chapter 36

Finnian carried her into the manor, wrapped in a blanket by Baldroy. Baldroy was yelling and soon Ciel was running out of the house, Lady Elizabeth gasping as she saw the men carrying the pregnant maid. Ciel stopped and craned his neck.

"Sebastian. Where is Sebastian?"

"He wasn't in the house, master," Baldroy said, shaking his head. He took his cigarette out of his mouth and placed his hands on his now frantic master. "Sir! The back house. It exploded. It is a wonder we found Mey-Rin. She was found under a tub, propped on boulders. She is unconscious and will not be able to tell us anything until she wakes."

Ciel stilled and the look of utter desperation etched clearly in his face and eyes. Elizabeth ventured close and Baldroy nodded. She sobbed as her husband fell to the ground and into her arms. She turned and yelled at Finnian to get Mey-Rin to a room Any room. Any bed. Finnian moved as if the woman weighed nothing. Nothing but a normal flour sack bag.

He placed her gently on Sebastian's bed, figuring the smell and the familiar surroundings could help her come back. He knelt by the bed and cried, wrapping his hand over her smaller one, venturing to place a hand on her stomach and smiling a bit; the baby was still kicking.

"Oh Mister Sebastian, please, please be okay."

Finnian cried the only repeated prayer sent out from the Phantomhive Manor that day.

 **Short chapter... gets another bonus chapter to go with. Of course that could mean double hating me... but I will take it.**


	37. Chapter 37

Sebastian was wrapped in chains. He normally like that, and the feeling of his cock being bathed in something warm was a bonus. But it wasn't Mey-Rin. It hadn't been Mey-Rin for a few sessions now... a few... he squeezed is eyes shut more. A few days, weeks... months? No... surely not that long... He didn't know, almost didn't care... He needed to get back to her - that was the thought that pulsed through his body and mind.

He opened his eyes and saw a torture demon smiling sharp teeth down at him.

"Ah you awake. A nasty ordeal that removal - you going in and out for a while now. I thought you would be fighting a bit harder." He shrugged and walked around the rack Sebastian's body was strung. He looked down and saw a damned soul taking him.

The demon cracked his whip and the damned got up and moved to take him in his body. "Pleasure or pain, Michaelis. Which will you pay with?"

"To protect my beloved, my unborn child," he spat out some blood, making sure it landed on the damned soul's chest. "I'll take both."

The torture demon sighed and nodded. "I always admired your devotion. No matter what it was - fucking, soul taking, hunting, or cracking this here whip with me on that rack - you did it perfectly."

"I aspire to be perfect in what I do."

"And you got a human perfectly pregnant."

He smiled. "It was a long road to do so, but I was able to."

"Instead of dragging her down here and letting the experts do it, you decide to take a darker path to immortality. I admire that… but you are here now."

"Experts?" he laughed and sent a wad of his cum into the body bucking on him. "Fuck, can't even find a soul to fuck right."

The demon cracked his whip and the damned soul moved off his hardened cock. His torturer now moved between his legs and Sebastian drilled his eyes into his. If he was going to take him, if his body was to be violated, as it had been in delight. He would make sure the pain he felt would reflect as pure pleasure. His insides were invaded with the hot embers of the torturer and he came again.

He closed his eyes, riding out the pain, imagining the soft hands and delicious skin of his lover. She was why he would endure this - this so called humiliation. He would pay for breaking a rule, for getting his lover, his human lover, pregnant.

Finally.

Finally Mey-Rin was carrying his child. He roared in joy as her body took him, fully and deeply, knowing that she wished to have another child. He tried to rest his hands on her hips, the swell of them now marked her a mother, a mother because of his child had been born. She was softer and more delicious. He came again. Taking the pleasure.

"Fuck Michaelis, are you sure that human you are trying to make half is so worth it? You have messed my perfect leather suit - twice. Ah, so good too." The demon grunted and Sebastian felt the hot cum land on his own chest. "Ah fuck me deeper - fucking fucker! The delicious sin of your body is mine and that human whore will be mine too. You love this! You can think of her, but my body is the one that is giving and taking the payment!"

"Gee, if you were better, I wouldn't be seeing my wife on my cock."

The chains hardened. The feeling deeper.

 _"Sebastian."_

The whip came down on his chest. His cock was bathed once more and he held the gaze of the man he had taken his anger out on a few times.

"You are really running on low and bad information," Sebastian huffed. "My lover has been pregnant for a while. And I will work double to give her another, and another, and another! This torture only makes me want her body so much more."

"If she survives the birth, that child will be one of the first half-fallen the human world has seen in a while. You would have done better not to mark her with your seed and let us - me - take all that nasty humanity out. The Master could have given you worse than I, but I like your delicate flesh on mine. And the stench of a human - all that humanity you have begun to bring into your body. It's the rot I love."

"I guess you may start with my body to get rid of it!" Sebastian spat. "My heart is protected and my mind is as well. I love my human wife! I long to take my human contracted soul into my protection from this place! I will keep their humanity in my body as long as I am alive!"

 _"Sebastian."_

"I thought I smelt the dirt of humans on you."

 _"Sebastian, please… be alive."_

"Your death… can be arranged," the demon breathed into his ear as he moved and sliced his talons down his chest.

He felt the tingling and the heat. His body was being soaked in liquid flames, dancing on his skin, burning and warming. He screamed - in ecstasy. The feelings were what he needed. Torture. Punishment. His sin was to drink humanity - whole and deep. And he loved it. He loved the broken souls.

 _"Get up here! Now. Damn it! I will pull you from hell myself!"_

Sebastian pulled himself free, the delight of the humans summoning him, bringing him the strength he needed. The hope of her being alive - and still pregnant - fed him deeper than a pure soul. And then Ciel. His mark. His master. Calling. His wife was also calling. He roared, the very black blood of his kind sizzling as he pushed off the demon, wrapping the sliver whip around his torturer's neck and snapping it with the strength he felt from above. From humans. The lowest creatures that Demons hunted, the hated, the loved, the only kind that Sebastian had ever found worth his time.

The damned soul joined the pile next and he looked around. They wanted him broken placing him so close to the inner chambers of the very depths of Hell. He wiped his mouth and smiled, his demon form freely taking shape. He knew he was devastatingly beautiful; a fallen angel among fallen. He heard the call and tug of his contract. He snarled and curled into the vaporous smoke driving into anyone, destroying anything in Hell that the Master put forth. He had to get back to his love.

His humans.

His child.

His true life.


	38. Chapter 38

He woke with a start and on the rock floor. He pushed up and took in the air. It smelled of rotting corpses.

"Undertaker."

"It seems you have some very insistent people who have been after you."

Sebastian stood and looked at the man. "Did you help pull me out?"

The Undertaker chuckled. "I was paid handsomely to do so."

"Thank you."

The grey haired man shook his head a bit. "Your master brought some clothes. They smell of lavender and vanilla."

He smiled and took the pile of clothes, bringing them up to his nose. "I will leave as soon as I am changed. I'm in your debt."

"Nonsense. It was paid."

Sebastian bowed and winced. "In that case, I alone am in your debt."

"Bring your child safely into the world and cause those demons a bit of chaos."

His eyes flashed and he smiled wider, his demon form curling out in delight.

He raced back to the familiar stone manor he had rebuilt six years previous, stone by stone, the same as it was for his young master's life. He slowed and surveyed the house, the heartbeats clustered in the usual spots and he smirked. Did anyone miss him?

"You look like someone we used to know," a voice said in back of him.

Turning he saw Tanaka coming up the lane. "Tanaka."

"The skin you wear, is it yours?"

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. The old Phantomhive butler never ceased to amaze him. "Yes. It is me. Sebastian Michaelis."

Tanaka looked him over and then clapped his old hand on his left shoulder and smiled. "Your wife is a few days from birth - or sooner, she is in consent pain. You may want to plan your trips to Hell a bit better."

Sebastian laughed. He laughed like it was be joke of his life. And he mused it probably was a good one. "Yes, I will remember to do that. I don't think I will be finding any rest there for a long time."

"Just as well, Mister Sebastian," Tanaka said. "The young master has been exceptionally moody since your disappearance. He insisted that cake be delivered to him for every meal, until you come back."

Sebastian groaned. "Is Lady Elizabeth making him run around at least?"

Tanaka now laughed. "Yes. After her for redecorating the house. The greenhouse. And insisting that she bring in workers to rebuild your own cottage."

"A fire?" he guessed. After he had been yanked from defending Mey-Rin, he felt the blinding light of fire around him, and not the pleasant low burn he had turned into enjoyment himself. He was gone for apparently the past two months, according to the conversation he had with the Undertaker as he reoriented himself to his human body.

The old man nodded sadly. "Almost lost her, we feared." He paused and looked back at Sebastian, facing him fully. "Go to her but be mindful, she is about to give birth, so she is not in the best shape to take the news all at once."

The door to the manor flew open and Sebastian shifted his attention. There was his young master, now sixteen and half, married, and looking even older than usual.

"Master," he whispered as he walked swiftly and knelt before him. He felt the relief of being called home. _Home._

"You are the worst protector I have ever known," Ciel said, dropping down to his knees. Sebastian looked up and saw both his naked eyes. His contract flashing bright as his eyes welled up. "Mey-Rin could have died."

Sebastian hung his head. And began to laugh. It started as a light rumble and then it burst out of his throat. His master was worried about Mey-Rin, a pregnant maid, married to his demon butler - not for himself. Ciel was worried about Mey-Rin, the woman whose very breath Sebastian needed to feel to keep him grounded. His heart was not chained. Free. Not dark. Light.

He pulled the startled teenager into his arms and carried him into the house. "I must make it right, my lord."

Ciel slung his patch around his finger after he was placed back on his feet, regarding the man who had left whole, now stood a bit scared and a little singed. Sebastian waited to be released before he went to his beloved. "Go. But, Sebastian, be careful. Her spirit was broken. I… I am not sure how she survived."

Sebastian regarded him for a moment and snatched the patch midair. He walked around and replaced the patch over the right eye he had jealously taken to create a strong binding. And as he tied the laces, he bent down and whispered, "The same way you did, my lord. One second at a time. One deliciously evil thought at a time, until you could stand here, content with what you have done. Determined with what you will have to do." He moved and faced his master once more. "Mey-Rin is strong like you because you surround yourself with rocks. And we can't be moved."

"Sebastian, don't ever leave again."

"Yes, my lord."

"Go. See to your wife, I will see to mine."

Sebastian regarded the young husband.

"She is convinced we need a dog. Heavens be blessed it's not a cat."

Sebastian chuckled and flew up the stairs, knowing the only heart beat he needed to hear was laying in his old bed. Waiting. Waiting for him.

"Sebastian…" she cried and her voice broke. He stopped and placed a hand on the wall beside his old door. "Seb.. Sebastian…"

It was the steady call and her voice sounded horse, like it had when he heard it in his soul, deep below and unable to get out. He let his form go, curling like smoke into the room. He covered her body with his, non-formed one and slowly solidified before her, kneeling beside the bed, her red eyes taking him and still calling out to him.

"I'm here," he said, brushing her hair out of her face a bit. He searched her eyes and licked his lips, feeling the emotions rise. "Oh my beloved, I am here."

"Sebastian?" her tone changed and she blinked. "Sebastian?"

"Yes, my love, I am here. I am really here." He slide his hand over her belly and felt a solid form pressing against her skin. "I'm here for you both. You helped get me back."

"I had lost you," she whispered, her fingers trembling as they reached for his face. "There was pain. So much. I was afraid I was loosing our baby."

He closed his eyes and breathed. "We were found out and I was taken because of it. There are rules for demons impregnating humans, that is one of the reasons it's so hard. I had hoped to keep you from them and let you fully transition without pain."

"But I'm still mortal," she whispered, her hand on his face now. She looked down at her stomach and blinked back the tears again. "They wanted to kill me to get to the baby."

"When our child is born, that will complete the transformation. It… it has killed weak women."

Mey-Rin looked up and met the steady gaze of Sebastian. "I am not weak."

He smiled and kissed her lips softly. "No, you are not. You helped bring me back from Hell. There is no weakness in that."

She sighed and then winced, her hand going to her belly. Her eyes widened and she looked at him once more. He smelled it.

"The baby, it's coming."

He smiled and kissed her, shoving pillows under her neck and head as he helped her sit up. Sure enough, watery blood was staining the sheets. "Our baby was waiting."

Mey-Rin's hand laced with his and she pulled him to sit next to her. "You could have come a bit faster."

"Yes, my love."

After gathering the rest of the staff, and sending for the Undertaker, Sebastian sat beside his beloved, and watched as Mey-Rin worked hard to push her baby out, screaming and gripping Sebastian's arm with a vice grip. He fed her water, mopped her brow, rubbed her back, and watched. He watched what he had only read about. He watched as her strength doubled, crushing his bones. His body repaired them and he held her as a wave of pain washed over her, made her scream the hellish scream of a soul ready for eternal flames. For her human soul and body was being ripped, part of her going into the tiny body she was trying to get out. His babies' body and soul was also being ripped, giving part of it to its mother. Mey-Rin would be his forever. His child too. Two immortal things, for the price of his two months in hellish torture.

And silence settled over all of the adults as the cry of a newborn shattered all the glass of the bedroom, exploding and imploding. The scream of a demon seeing the light of day for the first time. The scream of a human taking its first breath.

"You have a beautiful baby girl, Sebastian," the Undertaker said. He smiled and wrapped the baby in clothes and brought it to the new parents. "A delivery from Hell itself."

Mey-Rin shuttered as the baby was placed in her arms and Sebastian looked down at the angelic half-demon, half-human face.

His child. His daughter.

He kissed Mey-Rin's forehead and cried. The strongest feeling he had ever had was before him: his clumsy maid was turned into an immortal mother. Her brown eyes lifted and he saw the vastness stretch before him.

"For eternity," he whispered and gently laid a kiss on his wife's lips and his daughter's forehead.

 _And this is how it feels to be in love. This is how a demon becomes human._

 ***sniffle* Oh my goodness... that was like... sooooo emotional to write. All of it. Like all of it... so. That is this part, guys. Did you get that "this part"? Yup my muse (because let's be honest, she didn't have a chance to say no) is writing "This is How We Feel, Too" - a second installment of this here little beauty. So far a lot less sex then I thought, although we have marriages, and babies, and some really interesting things with this new baby coming about. SO... I will post that starting... um... Friday? I may have to wait til after Comic Con... So don't cry too hard, or if you do, get some more boxes because I tried to balance the cry and laughter ratio a bit in the next one.**

 **THANK YOU to all who read and review. I'm just so thrilled anyone would want to read this and push me to continue. *MUAH***


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